Deliberations of Dilking

Thoughts On... Responsibility

2012-02-17T01:35:00.000-05:00

I was watching the latest ep of Tim Allen's new show "Last Man Standing". In the ep, there was an exploration of the idea of responsibility. Mostly from the perspective of the activities/things a person gives up when they become parents. The gist of the episode was that to be responsible your life had to be boring. Personally, I don't think that is true.

Now being responsible does mean sacrifice. It does mean thinking about the consequences of your actions for yourself and the people around you BEFORE you take said that action. Then you weigh the consequences of taking that action against the effect it will have on the people around/depending on you. If that effect is negative, you don't take that action. (Of course, this is operating under the theory that you actually care about the people depending on you.)

Here is the trick: not every action you take will have a negative effect on you or the people depending on you. And, you are not barred from having fun when you wish. You just have to be careful about what you do, and make sure the people depending on you are taken care of. Being responsible means that your fun doesn't negatively impact those who depend on you.

If you're a parent and want to go out, you hire a babysitter. Your child is taken care of, and you help someone make a little money. Now, there will be times you can't work around the consequences, and you'll have to say no to the things you want. But that isn't going to happen every time. If you plan ahead, it might not even happen most of the time. When it does happen, just remember the reasons why you need to say no: you care for a special someone, you need to keep your job, etc. These reasons will help you if your friends pressure you. And if they're really your friends and value you, they will respect your choice. Even if they don't like it. Depending on the class of friends you have, you may have to put up with some hazing, but they'll still respect your decision.

In the end, being responsible doesn't mean boring. It never did. It just means choosing your moments for fun carefully and planning the excitement into your life. You may lose some spontaneity, but you gain so much more. So please, be responsible but don't let that stop you from having fun!

Movie Review: Safe House

2012-02-15T14:11:00.000-05:00

I walked in to Safe House expecting a spy movie with a little bit of complexity to the plot and great deal of action, along the lines of a Jason Bourne type of movie. Instead, I got the spy version of the first Terminator film and I LOVED IT!!! It was amazing. By the end of the film, I was almost as exhausted as the main characters.

The plot of the film is simple enough. A rogue agent, Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington), is brought into a CIA safe house for interrogation. When the safe house is attacked, the housekeeper, Matt Ryan (Ryan Reynolds), is forced to go on the run, with Frost in tow. The rest of the film is an almost never ending battle, where the opponents & type of battle changes, but the battle keeps going.

The beauty of an action oriented spy film is that the normal rules of an action movie don't apply. It's not the most badass person that wins, it's the person who has the most information and applies their intelligence in the best way possible. So in a movie like Safe House, it is essential to cast actors that can portray that kind of meta-level thinking that would be second nature to a spy. Casting Denzel Washington was nothing less than a master stroke on the part of director, Daniel Espinosa. When it comes to portraying intelligent characters on screen, Denzel is among my top 5 choices. And his performance in Safe House is a testament to that choice.

The surprise choice for me was Ryan Reynolds. When it comes to witty, sarcastic comedy, there is NO ONE better that Ryan Reynolds. And while that kind of wit demands a higher than average intelligence, I don't really think of him when it comes to dramatic or action based stories. The fact that he played so well in the film and held his own against Denzel on screen is a testament to the craft Reynolds has learned. His range is expanding and I'm looking forward to seeing his next dramatic role.

There isn't a way to discuss the plot without giving away key details, but the story is top notch. The film maintains a high level of intensity even as it switches from gun battles to car chases to verbal jousting and back. Espinosa's directing adds a depth to that intensity with the visceral nature of his shots. It makes the movie one HELL of a ride.

If you're looking for a heavy, character based, suspense thriller about the spy world, I would DEFINITELY recommend Safe House.

Anti-Valentine's Day CD 2012

2012-02-14T03:03:00.000-05:00

Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls... Dying time's here!!! That's right, it's that time of year again: National Singles Awareness day. The day when we all recognize and become hyper aware of just how single we are. Everyone else calls it "Valentine's Day", but I really can't see how the anniversary of the beheading of a priest is the day to celebrate love. Actually, now that I come to think of it... that's actually a pretty good representation of love. I can actually see it now: the classic guillotine with the decapitated priest laying at its foundation. Cool...

I've stated in my previous posts that my issues with Valentine's Day stem from the fact that love is not accurately represented. There are some exceptionally violent expressions of love out there. It's not just chocolates, flowers, and cards. Given that violence, the beheading of a priest serves as an apt image for the fullness of love. As is my custom, I have come up with the latest Anti-Valentine's Day CD. In this case, the sub-theme is violence. Here's the list:

01) All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

02) David Guetta (Feat Jessie J) - Repeat

03) Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call

04) Adele - Rolling In The Deep

05) One Republic - Apologize

06) Keri Hilson - Energy

07) Boyz II Men - I Sit Away

08) Rockapella - Don't Tell Me You Do

09) Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

10) Pink - There You Go

11) Eminem (Feat Rihanna) - Love The Way You Lie

12) Babyface (Feat Stevie Wonder) - How Come, How Long

13) Whitney Houston (Feat Faith Evans & Kelly Price) - Heartbreak Hotel

14) Keyshia Cole (Feat K.T.) - Shoulda Let You Go (Remix)

15) George Michael - Fast Love Part I

16) Lily Allen - Smile

17) Hot Chelle Rae - Let Down

18) Lasgo - Gone

19) Joe Lynn Turner - Heartless

20) Cher - Strong Enough (Club 69 Future Atlantic City Beats Radio Edit)

21) Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want

Most of these songs deal with strictly emotional violence, but Eminem's "Love The Way You Lie" and "How Come, How Long" by Babyface reference actual violence from dysfunctional relationships. They might be difficult to listen to for those of you who may have personal experience in that arena. Imagine if your local stores carried cards for THAT aspect of Valentine's day...

As always, this list is compiled to allow you to endure the hyper-sentimentality of this day. Good luck to you and I'll see you on the other side!!

End Of A Chapter...

2012-02-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

It's difficult to say this, my dear readers, and I'm sure some of you have already directly from me, but I was laid off this past Thursday.

Yes, really.

As for what happened, that's simple. My company lost a partner which made budget cuts necessary. By budget cuts, I mean lay offs. I wasn't the only one, but that isn't really a big comfort. The strangest part about all this is my reaction to it. I've been laid off before, and every time it happened there was always this surge of fear. It felt like my soul jumped into freezing cold water.

But this time was different. I felt... Nothing. There was no fear, no anger, not even sadness. For a moment, there was a faint twinge of surprise, but that was it. Now, four days after, it's still the same. I'm going through the motions that are necessary. You know, filing for unemployment, updating my resume, restarting my searches on the job sites, etc. But, there isn't anything behind it.

It's possible that this is some weird form of depression, but I'm not sure. I've dealt with depression before (repeatedly, but that's a story for another post), but this feels different. It feels like more of the same; like the same story told over again. I know what I'm supposed to do, and I'm doing it. But like a tale that you've heard a thousand times over, there's little to no impact.

I do have an appointment with the recruiter that got me this last job, so there is a good chance I could get another job relatively soon. In the meantime, I'm living day by day, trying to find ways to fill the time.

Kiefer Sutherland's Touch...

2012-01-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to lie. During the time that 24 was airing, Kiefer Sutherland was the king of TV. Whenever the latest episode of 24 was on, nothing interrupted me. I didn't answer the phone, the door, or respond to texts. When the show ended, I figured that Sutherland would take a break and relax for a season or three, maybe go back to doing films. Instead, he comes back with another show called "Touch".

The idea is simple: A father finds out that his son's autism hides a deeper secret: His son is able to predict future events. Granted, that concept isn't really a big one. Frankly, it sounds like the "B" storyline on an episode of Supernatural or Grimm or something. Definitely not something that you can base a whole show on, right? WRONG! Check out this preview:

You know something major is going to go down when Jack Bauer goes to Murtaugh for help. But seriously, how awesome was that trailer? The show looks really interesting, and seems to focus on the family aspect alot. I particularly liked the ending with the father finding a way to communicate with his son. A theme that is practically eternal. Fox is going to preview the show tonight at 9pm.

What do you think, my dear readers, are you going to give the show a shot?

The Colony: The Second Reality TV Show I Watch...

2012-01-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

This is why I hate the Discovery Channel (TDC). I have frequently stated that Fear Factor is the only reality TV show that I would watch. The folks at TDC heard that and unbeknownst to me said, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!" They jumped into a time machine, went back to 2009 and created a reality show called "The Colony".

Now, before you start waving victory flags and signing me up for your "Survivor" viewing parties, go back and re-read what I just wrote. This is a show created by THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL. You know what that means? There isn't any million dollar contest bullshit going on. The point of the show is to TEACH its viewers. You watch the show to LEARN stuff. I will admit that "The Colony" is a reality TV show, but I use that label EXCEEDINGLY loosely.

Here's the premise of the show:

Our world, as we know it, could end in a moment. Nuclear war, global pandemic, and other threats could wipe us all out. If you were to live through the disaster, how would you survive? The Colony is an experiment that simulates a post-apocalyptic world where 10 volunteers are given the task of surviving and re-building civilization for 10 weeks. The part that really makes it interesting is you get insights into the three major aspects of the show: psychology, security, and technology by experts during the show!!

Now, I just found this show, so I'm only on S1 which takes place in a cordoned off area of Los Angeles where they simulate life after a global catastrophe. In doing some research, I found that the SECOND season of the show takes place in an isolated area near New Orleans where they simulate life after a global viral outbreak, and that they just finished casting for the 3rd season. It'll be interesting to see what apocalyptic scenario they test out this time!

The first two seasons are available for download and on DVD. If you're looking for a good show, I highly recommend The Colony. Check out the series with this trailer for season 1:

A Cautionary Tale...

2012-01-06T16:24:00.000-05:00

One year, two months, two weeks, and six days ago (not that I was counting), I bit the bullet and bought the PlayStation 3. It was a first gen console with the hardware based backwards compatibility. And despite initial reservations, I LOVED it. I was able to play my PS2 and PS1 games, and I jumped into the new PS3 games with reckless abandon. I enjoyed my first forays into Blu-Ray movies. Later on, I discovered that it could play various types of video files (DIVX, Xvid, WMV, AVI, MP4, etc.) and my previously burned computer data discs and I was TRULY in love. You have no idea how much easier that SINGLE ability of this console made my life. It was simply awesome. Unfortunately, it looks my PS3 has unequivocally died. I tried resurrecting it and for a few days it worked, but now death has come back for my console. In the end, you just can't cheat death.

Now as a seasoned veteran in dealing with electronics, I know that sometimes, machines just simply die. That's not really the problem or what makes this a cautionary tale. See, this failure brings to light a classic mistake. One that everyone falls victim to eventually. I had spent almost 15 months playing various games, both disc-based and downloaded games, and storing the save files on my PS3... WITHOUT BACKING ANY OF THEM UP.

Since the first death of my PS3, I started researching the PS3 and whether or not I could restore the hard drive (HDD) to another PS3. And that's when I discovered a couple of things that I hadn't known about the PS3. First, in an effort to combat piracy (specifically movies) Sony introduced a mechanism in the PS3 that formats and encrypts any newly installed HDD in a way that ties that drive to that SPECIFIC console. Transferring my HDD to a newly purchased PS3 would only allow me to reformat the HDD, consequently erasing all the data I would want to save.

Thankfully, all the downloadable content (DLC) for my games is linked to my PlayStation Network (PSN) account so all the items I paid for I can re-download without having to re-purchase. And all the trophies I synced to the online servers aren't lost to me, either. The only data that I'm currently in a position to lose is my game saves. Yeah, that's right. FIFTEEN MONTHS OF GAMING IS NOW OFFICIALLY GONE! I'm looking at a lot of time and effort to reclaim all of that.

Some of my friends and family have taken this opportunity to push the idea of switching to the Xbox 360. Their biggest gambit being that with an Xbox, this wouldn't be an issue. It's designed to allow for the switching of the internal HDD with no issues. And yet, despite all the work I'm going to have to redo, all the battles I'm going to have to re-fight, it's STILL not in me to go to XBox. I won't do it. It simply will NEVER happen.

Now, I'm the first to admit that the Xbox Live Network is better than PSN. But that's not really saying much. Microsoft is first and foremost a COMPUTER company, if their online network sucked it would reflect badly on the computer part of their company. But, here's the thing, I don't play the multi-player options on my games. I'm old school. I play my games on my system by myself. Speaking of games, I will give the Xbox it's due props; they have some serious hit games that are exclusive to the system. But, none that I care about. The only one that they managed to pique my interest on was Ninja Gaiden Black, but once that was ported over to the PS3 as Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Xbox lost it's tenuous grip on me.( Let's also consider the cost of replacing all the games I have for the PS3 for the Xbox. Definitely NOT an option.)

This disaster is not a reason to switch consoles. Because it's not about the console. Don't get me wrong, I HAVE spent the last few days pissed at my console, and even more enraged at Sony for not providing some kind of mechanism to recover the data from my HDD! But, to be completely honest, this is all on me. All the info was out there floating in the CyberWeb InterSpace, if only I'd had the foresight to look into it. but I didn't.

As a seasoned computer tech, I should have been backing up my data regularly, but I didn't. And now, I'm hoping for some kind of miracle. But, I beg of you, my dear readers, take a lesson from Dilking. Back up your data. It doesn't matter if it's your PC, PS3 or any other electronic device. Make backups. Keep them current. Learn from my mistakes. Or you could lose something much more precious than my game save files.

BACK UP YOUR DATA!! DO IT!!! DO IT NOW!!!

Long Live Play!

Movie Review: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

2012-01-02T02:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't been dialed in to the pulse of Hollywood for a long while, so the appearance of this fourth installment of the Mission Impossible series came as a complete (and welcome) surprise to me. While I have certain reservations about the first 3 films, I still great enjoy them. Walking into MI4, I was expecting a good story and lots of action, which I got. But, the story and action came with an unexpected friend: comedy. MI4 is by far the funniest of all the Mission: Impossible films. And not just because Simon Pegg's appearance in the film, but he does help.

In case you haven't seen the trailers, GP follows Ethan Hunt and his team as they race against time to take down a terrorist codenamed Cobalt who is trying to incite a nuclear war. An attempt to ascertain Cobalt's identity at the Kremlin ends in a disastrous explosion which the IMF is blamed for, causing the President to invoke the titular "Ghost Protocol" and disavows the entire IMF. However, Cobalt's plans are continuing and Hunt and his team (now deemed rogue agents) must continue their mission to stop Cobalt with no backup of any kind. And that's where a lot of the comedy comes from.

See, it's easy for a trained agent to complete assignments when they have the backup of their agency, funding, and all the high-tech gadgets a person could want. But when all of that is removed, everything becomes slightly more dangerous and a hell of a lot more difficult. Mix that concept with the one thing that spy movies always gloss over (that these agents are PEOPLE with all the normal reactions of people to extreme situations) and you get a surprisingly effective, very subtle vehicle for comedy. Take for example the section of the movie that takes place in Dubai.

In MI2, I thought it was a stroke of genius that the villain of the piece had a psychological profile of Ethan Hunt and explained why Hunt always seemed to favor acrobatic solutions to infiltrations. In MI4, when trying to capture an agent of the above mentioned terrorist, Cobalt, they run into a problem with taking over a building's security network. Dunn (played by Simon Pegg) brings up the "slight wrinkle" of having to get into the server room from the outside because he didn't have enough time to hack the servers. Now, the building in question is the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world at over 820 meters high. And Hunt has to go outside and climb up to the 130th floor to access the server room. While Tom Cruise is not delivering a punchline per se, his portrayal of Hunt's reaction to that "slight wrinkle" is nothing short of hilarious!! It's that kind of comedy that is spread out through the film. No snappy one-liners or quick rim-shot jokes, just normal human reactions to some of the most extreme situations imaginable, which ironically has the effect of making the action more palatable. With one shocked look or exclamation, the audience is told that not only does this plan seem insane to them, but also to the agents who actually have to ENGAGE that plan. It makes it so much easier to maintain the necessary suspension of disbelief, when even the agents have issues with the action sequences.

Speaking of those sequences, the Mission Impossible series has always set itself apart by creating action sequences that weren't just about bullets and explosives, they were about tension and suspense. It was just as thrilling to see the IMF agents in the slow moments in the sequences as it was when all hell broke loose. In MI4, the action is taken a step further by presenting it in some of the most beautiful places on the planet. Under the direction of Brad Bird, the sequences went from adrenaline rushing, pulse pounding action to works of cinematic art. It looks like Bird was able to take his artistic sensibilities from his animated movies and successfully apply them to live-action movies. My personal favorite is the Dubai sequence. The cinematography was simply amazing to watch. Seeing these intense action sequences gorgeously filmed against the most visually stunning backdrops I've seen in a long time added a grander sense of scope that was truly awe-inspiring.

MI4 is without a doubt the best offering in the series. It's great fun with amazing action and a great cast leading you through it. If you're looking for a thrill ride, I would definitely recommend giving Ghost Protocol a shot.

Welcome To The New Year...

2012-01-01T17:42:00.000-05:00

Last year was a rough one for a lot of people, me included. The brakes went on my car while I was driving, I got arrested for driving with a suspended license, my birthday party got shut down before it even got started, my PS3 died, and I got to spend a week in the hospital due to a gall stone attack. Worse of all, I STILL didn't manage to get a girlfriend! However, I did make a promise to my friends to try to be less negative, so let's put all that in the past and welcome the new year!!

2012 is starting off great. I was able to resurrect my PS3, thanks to that gall stone incident I'm in Weight Watchers and am losing weight (Although, I gained some back due to all the holiday stuff.), my car issues are taken care of, and I might be getting a "do over" birthday party! I do say I really liked the way this year has started for me. Especially the fact that I got kissed not once, not twice, but FOUR times by one of the most beautiful women I know at the New Year's Party this year!

There's nothing in the world like kissing a beautiful woman. Nothing. Oh and no, I'm not going to reveal who she is. Just that she is beautiful and awesome, and a good friend of mine.

Talk about starting a new year off right, though!! I just hope this bodes well for the rest of the year. *crosses fingers* Happy New Year to all of you, my dear readers! May 2012 bring peace, love, and prosperity to us all!

Movie Review: Girl With A Dragon Tattoo

2011-12-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

I just watched the newly released David Fincher film, "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". And it was fantastic! Let's start with the plot. The plot of the film is exceedingly simple. (No, that is not a bad thing.) Disgraced journalist, Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is hired to investigate a 40 year old missing persons case and is assisted by the titular character, Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara). But that simplicity allows for two things: one, it provides a solid framework for what is a truly stellar film, and two, it elicits a deeper questioning: Why has this journalist been disgraced? Who would choose a disgraced journalist to investigate a missing persons case? Why investigate after 40 years? Just reading the plot of the film had me asking a bunch of questions. Which is fantastic for a mystery thriller, especially one by David Fincher.

Watching a David Fincher film is always an interesting experience. The single most intriguing aspect of the film was the amoral landscape of the film. The bulk of the story takes place on the Vanger family island, which already sets the events of the film in a kind of clean, distant space, that allows for an almost clinically detached experience, but Fincher enhances that emotional detachment by shooting in severe, spartan sets and wide shots that keep the viewer far away from the events, and has the side effect of downplaying the visceral reaction to the brutality of some of the film. Yet, at the same, he delivers a steady stream of expositions, plot development, and story twists that keep the viewer MENTALLY engaged in the film.

A lot has been stated about the casting of Rooney Mara as Lisbeth. There has been buzz and critique in equal amounts. Coming out of the film, I can honestly say that Mara delivered a fantastic performance. Her physical transformation alone was reminiscent of Christian Bale (Check him out in The Machinist to see what I mean.), and yes, I mean that as a compliment. Mara played Lisbeth to the hilt, coming across as vulnerable, strong, empathic, psychotic, hyper-intelligent and emotionally naive. It was a truly engrossing performance from a relatively new actress. She even managed to steal scenes from Daniel Craig, and that is truly impressive in my book.

Speaking of Daniel Craig, I've felt sorry for him ever since he became the new James Bond. The amazing popularity of his more brutal version of Bond seemed to cement his career's inevitable doom: typecasting. Which would honestly suck, because Craig is an exceptionally talented actor. ( My favorite film of his: Layer Cake.) But this film gave him the perfect opportunity to shatter the Bond image into itty bitty pieces.

One of the toughest things to portray on screen is intelligence, of any kind. For all that I love of the character, 007 isn't an intelligent man. Clever and street smart? Yes. Intelligent? No. And that's how Craig breaks away from the Bond character in this film. In playing the disgraced journalist, Mikael Blomkvist, Craig portrays the investigative mind perfectly. You can literally SEE the connections being made and the deductions coming to light as he pores over the information presented to him over and over again. And this is enhanced when he enlists the help of Mara's character and they set in to investigate the disappearance. When they started working on the case, it evoked an image of Sherlock Holmes & Watson coming together on their first case. I'm hoping that this film does well, so that the other two films can be brought to light under the OCD eye of David Fincher.

However, this movie is something of a slow burn. It's a film that you have to devote a lot of attention to and that slow plays its audience throughout the entire film. Fincher utilizes that slow place to enhance the tension in some scenes, to break up the exposition in others, and to add emotional distance to yet other scenes. The one constant is that slow pace. And that could be the film's downfall. I'm really hoping this one does well. I would love to see more movies like this.

If you're looking for a slow paced, intense thriller, then "Girl With A Dragon Tattoo" is the film for you. I mean it, you'll LOVE it.

The Master Has Returned...

2011-12-23T10:36:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, the Master has returned. That's right, the man who practically INVENTED modern day sci-fi horror with his film, Alien, has come back to the Alien universe. And now, you will see how the Alien movies SHOULD be done. Cameron, Fincher, and Jeunet get out your notebooks, cause you're about to be SCHOOLED!! Here comes Prometheus!

The first trailer for Ridley Scott's Alien prequel, Prometheus, has been released. Check it out:

How awesome was that? Now, I've been avoiding getting too deep into the production of this movie, but after this trailer I had to do some research! I found out a lot of cool stuff, but I'm not going to spoil anything for you. However, I do have a question. It seems that Ridley Scott want this movie to have an R rating, but the studios are hesitant to go above PG-13. As such, Scott is making two cuts of the film, one for each rating, for the studios to review. What rating do you think this movie should be released under?

Sulu Speaks Seeking Star Slander Cessation....

2011-12-12T16:52:00.000-05:00

Recently, there has been a battle going on in the CyberWeb InterSpace, my dear readers. A re-ignition of the Eternal battle between Star Trek & Star Wars, instigated by none other than Capt. James T. Kirk himself: William Shatner. And Princess Leia, Carrie Fisher, responded.

Now, in an attempt to unite the two feuding fandoms, George Takei steps in as the ambassador for Star Peace in his unique position as the ONLY actor (at this time) who has EVER starred in BOTH!! Yes, that's right, my dear readers. George Takei is bad-ass enough to have starred in not only Star Trek as Sulu (Come on, you all KNEW that, right?), but also as Lok Durd in the Star Wars: Clone Wars tv series!! (That one I don't expect you'd have known... Hell, *I* didn't even know that until today! Which is why I'm taking the time to educate YOU as well!!)

And so, George Takei calls forth the two universes of Star Trek and Star Wars to join together in harmony and in battle against the TRUE ENEMY of us all: TWILIGHT.

Gone is any sense of heroism, camaraderie or epic battles. In its place, we have vampires that sparkle, moan and go to high school. Now, I'm not above mixing in a little sex appeal to spice up the fantasy, but sci-fi fans be warned, there are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be found in Twilight. Nooo…In Twilight, the only message that rings through loud and clear is: 'Does my boyfriend like me?'

Buffy, Blade... We're counting on you!!!

Is Fear A Factor For You?

2011-12-02T11:33:00.001-05:00

There are times when I'm convinced that the universe is out to get me. While I don't believe I'm the ONLY target of the universe's mischievous sense of humor (that would be the height of arrogance and make me WORTHY of being on the list), I am on it's list. But then I get certain gifts from the universe that are of such magnitude that I have to question whether or not the universe actually hates me. This post is about one such gift.

I'm not a big Christmas person. I'm not a Grinch in that I'm out to ruin Christmas for everyone, I'm just not one to really participate in it. So, the month of December is kind of boring and annoying. (You try listening to 31+ days straight of cloying & sappy music relating to a holiday YOU don't enjoy and see if YOU like it. And yes it's 31+ days because it normally starts the day AFTER Thanksgiving and goes straight until Dec 25th. The plus is covering the stragglers that start up before T-Day and possibly go on after the 25th.) Yes, I know my birthday is in December, but given that it's 2 days AFTER the global celebration of the birth of Christ, my birthday is pretty much a non-event. However, for THIS YEAR, I have been given, not one, not two, but THREE gifts from the universe to allow me to survive this harrowing time known as the month of December!

#3 - Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game Of Shadows (out 12/16)

#2 - Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol (out 12/16)

#1 - The return, after a SIX YEAR hiatus of the ONLY reality tv show I would EVER watch and the original bad ass game show: FEAR FACTOR!!!! Here is a clip of what's in store for this new season:

So, the question is... Is fear a factor for you?

Thoughts On... Chivalry

2011-11-30T22:08:00.000-05:00

When I think of Chivalry, I think of the actual definition of the word: the system, spirit, or customs of medieval knighthood. It's an ideology and set of behaviors that was created in the 14th century. And like most of the thinking that existed in the 1300s, it not something that works in modern day society. In fact, the core theories of chivalry don't really exist anymore. It mutated over the course of time from the definition of knighthood to the definition of gentlemanly behavior.

One of the most cherished examples of chivalry these days is the movie Gone With The Wind. Personally, I didn't like the movie. But as a movie buff, I understand it's importance. Still when talking about chivalry, women hold up that movie and say that chivalry is dead. I'm a guy, so take this with the appropriate grain of salt. Personally, I don't think chivalry is dead. However, it has changed.

Remember, the basic concept behind chivalry is the idea that it is the job of any honorable man to protect the women around him since they weren't capable of protecting themselves. They couldn't pull out the heavy oak chairs. They couldn't open the heavy wooden (or metal) doors. Now, it's been 72 years since GWTW was made. It's been even longer since the Civil War era during which the events of the movie takes place. And a great deal of things have happened in that time.

Things like women's rights, women's liberation due to the lack of labor because of that small blip called WWII, the sexual revolution, and the establishment of sexual harassment laws (including precedents for class action suits). These things have fundamentally altered how men & women relate to each other. Those alterations led to the blurring of gender roles. This forced chivalry to be less overt and "go underground" for lack of a better term.

As a guy, I do find it interesting that a lot of the women I know (and several I read about) pine for that lost era when men were expected to do everything, and women just took care of the home and the kids with no other responsibilities being socially acceptable. In a society where they have the right and duty to take care of themselves, women want to go back to when they didn't. The sentiment is so prevalent that there was even a movie based on the concept: Kate & Leopold.

Now, I grant you that men (for justifiable reasons or not) have become less overt in their romantic gestures. That is a given. But I ask this question of you ladies: Would you really trade in all the freedoms you have in modern day for chivalry of the type seen in GWTW or K&L? Really?

Who Will Be Your Pretty Little Enemy....

2011-11-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

In honor of my completion of the main storyline of Batman Arkham City (I still have to finish the side missions & trophy hunting), I'm posting the lyrics (and a video of the song) of my favorite song from the Arkham City Soundtrack. I present to you: Deranged by Coheed & Cambria

This city’s lost all hope, I repeat, I boast
The strange will walk alone
They scurry with their doubt
The darkness shrouds, the sirens shout
Against the concrete below
Oh, This works all you and me… Its all our being
We'll burn this city down

Who will be your pretty little enemy?
When I’m gone your world will prove empty
I promise, you will always remember me
The jokes on you, poisoning
While you clean the streets of misfortune
I pick the innocent from my dirty teeth
We’re one and the same... Deranged

We were our worst nightmares delight
And I promised you,
As you always knew
Our world’s a paradise

Who will be your pretty little enemy?
When I’m gone your world will prove empty
I promise, you will always remember me
The jokes on you, poisoning
While you clean the streets of misfortune
I pick the innocent from my dirty teeth
We’re one and the same... Deranged

There is no me without you
I will behave, I will be
An afterthought… Your make believe
Your darkest day... your friend in need

Who will be your pretty little enemy?
When I’m gone your world will prove empty
I promise, you will always remember me
The jokes on you, poisoning
While you clean the streets of misfortune
I pick the innocent from my dirty teeth
We’re one and the same… Deranged

HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa
We’re one and the same… Deranged
HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa
We’re one and the same…

Deranged

*All rights to song & lyrics belong to the artist. I own nothing of this..

One Dream Dies & A New One Is Born...

2011-11-09T16:39:00.000-05:00

Awhile ago, I declared my intent to attend the 2012 Comic-Con in San Diego next year. For a long time, I had the dogged intent to actually go forth with that plan. I had the Comic-Con page as my homepage so every time I went online, I knew whether or not the badges were on sale. I had several big plans in fact. I was going to go to a "Weird Al" concert in Concord, NH. I was going to visit friends in New Jersey for Thanksgiving, I even had a plan to spend the week between Christmas & New Year's Eve (a.k.a. my birthday week) visiting friends in Canada! It was going to be off the HOOK!!

However, reality, moving ever so slowly, corrupted those dreams until they were nothing but dust. I didn't get to go to the concert. Car issues prevented me from being able to building up the cash to go to NJ and also killed the trip to Canada. And now, while I'm still in financial recovery from all the legal fallout of my car issues, I am finally letting go of the dream of going to Comic-Con 2012.

I simply don't have the $ to buy the badges when they come sale. And that doesn't even cover the round-trip flight, hotel stay, car rental, food costs, and spending money for the Con itself. Frankly, it's just too fucking expensive to go. Therefore, in order to save myself a great deal of emotional angst (and my friend the blowback of that angst), I'm letting go of the dream. My journey to Comic-Con is no more.

In it's place, there is a new dream. One that is FULLY achievable, but will require a great deal of work on my part. For my Christmas present to myself, I will be building myself a new PC. From SCRATCH.

Mind you, I've had my current PC (which I also built from scratch) for over SIX YEARS! The only things I've had to upgrade is the video card and the DVD burners.

I start the research on Motherboards and CPUs tomorrow. I should have it all laid out in a week or so, and as God is my witness by Jan 1st, 2012, I will have my ENTIRELY brand NEW PC.... including a new monitor, keyboard, and mouse!

Mission: PC Update starts... RIGHT NOW!

It's Been A Little While...

2011-11-04T10:08:00.000-04:00

My dear readers... it's been a little while since I've posted anything. I know how much you enjoy reading my ramblings and essays. It must pain you beyond belief to not have heard from me in such a long time. All I can say is... I'm sorry. The good news is (as this post is clear evidence of) I'm posting again. And I have a LOT of content to put out there. Keep an eye out over the next couple of days. You'll get a lot more stuff to ponder over...

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!

2011-10-11T20:02:00.000-04:00

And now ladies and gentlemen without further ado, here is the first trailer for the new Avengers movie coming out May 2012.

'Nuff said!

A Night Out...

2011-10-10T01:41:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday I went to one of my old haunts. This great little bar in Haverhill, MA called "Kelley's Pub". Now, I know what you're thinking, dear readers. You're thinking "But you don't drink, why would you be at a bar?" Well, the truth is I was in the mood to do some karaoke and Kelley's was where I started. So, I decided to go back. I hadn't been there in years and it seemed like a good idea to go back and check it out. Interestingly enough, the place really hasn't changed much. They improved the lighting, and added some more doors to improve ventilation, but otherwise it's the same place. Now, as surprising as my decision was to venture out, that wasn't the biggest surprise of the evening for me.

Big surprise #1: When I arrived, there was a birthday party! A girl was celebrating her 30th birthday... at a bar. It's an interesting choice, and one I might actually consider for myself someday. (When I can afford to throw MYSELF a birthday party!) It's a cool idea, and if I do it on the bar's karaoke night, I might even get "free" karaoke at my birthday!

Big surprise #2: The karaoke at Kelley's is still being run by the same lady, a hottie named Danielle. What makest this an even bigger surprise is that she remembered me on sight. And this was after my not showing up to one of her karaoke nights in about 2 years! She actually remembered my name! And not like it took her awhile to remember, I mean right away. She saw me and greeted me right away. And then immediately asked if I was going to sing that night. Apparently, my singing made some sort of impression. I wonder why, I mean it's not like I'm a good singer or anything.

Big surprise #3: It took me while to find a song. Not that I didn't want to sing or anything, but people kept picking the songs I wanted to do before I could put them in. So, I picked one of my "standards", Micheal Jackson's Billie Jean. Now, normally when I pick a song, there really isn't any reaction. People just go about their business. But, this time was different. The "dance floor" was emptying out as my name was called to go sing. I went up to the mic, and as soon as the music started playing, the crowd actually CHEERED and people came back to dance! One girl (and yes, she was very cute!) even told me that my choice of song was "the best song of the night"! She then proceeded to started vaguely threaten me that "I'd better kill this song or else". I didn't really need the additional performance pressure, but it was understandable considering that there were only 3 people in the bar who knew I could do a somewhat passable job at singing. It also added to her attractiveness which I think is a little weird, but par for the course for me.

I hung out till the bar closed at 1, heard KaraokeGirl Danielle sing incredible versions of Rihanna's "S&M" and Adelle's "Rolling In The Deep". I listened to some good music, sang a song, checked out a bunch of hot women who were dressed to kill. In the end, I have to admit, I had fun. It was a good time. And I find myself looking forward to going back.

Thoughts On... Abortion

2011-09-30T13:42:00.000-04:00

I know this is a hot button topic for people, and normally I don't discuss it. But I recently read a blog post discussing the topic and I can't really stop thinking about it. My opinion on abortion is.... unusual. I'm good with intellectual analysis, so let's take this from an intellectual perspective. The issue of abortion seemingly revolves around two key issues: the definition of life and when life starts. But for me, there are two more factors: the definition of murder and human nature.

Normally, when the battle between pro-lifer & the pro-choice movement starts it's about where life begins. Pro-life says life begins at conception, pro-choice says it begins at birth. And this then leads to the battle on how to define life. But let's stick to where life starts. On this part, I have to go with the pro-lifers. Life starts at conception. Before you get all bent out of shape, hear me out. Science believes that life on this planet started when certain amino acids got together and created the first living cells. And that's the key. Even today, modern science recognized that there are LIVING SINGLE CELL ORGANISMS. (For example, the amoeba. If you do some research, I'm sure you can find more.) So, if a single cell can be alive, then a fertilized egg is alive. Period.

The question is what does "alive" mean? Enter the definition of life. In my experience with science, there are 2 types of life: sentient (self-aware, conscious, like human life), non-sentient (not self-aware, like an amoeba). Pro-lifers believe that a fetus is a person, where pro-choicers tend not to agree. And then the fighting begins which pretty much kills any further debate. Personally, I agree with the pro-choicers on this. A fetus is not a person. There is no question that a fetus is alive, since life begins at fertilization. However, to be a person it must SENTIENT life. A single cell is alive, like an egg or a neuron. But a single cell can't process feeling or emotion, but billions of them together, like with a brain (billions of neurons) or a baby (trillions of cells, including those neurons) CAN! For me, that is what makes a person.

Here's where my THIRD factor, the definition of murder, kicks in. Now, most people agree that murder is when one person kills another person. I don't subscribe to that theory. It's too messy because it has too many variables, the biggest of which is the definition of a person. My definition of a person works for me, but not for everyone. For example, if an alien kills a human (Greedo kills Han Solo) is that murder? Technically, if the alien isn't a person then it isn't murder is it? Under my definition the alien is a PERSON, just not a human one. For others, it may not. Think about it.

The one single universal quality of all life that humanity has encountered so far is that it's all mortal. In other words, EVERYTHING DIES. The key to my theory of murder is WHEN that death takes place. My definition of murder is the unnatural stoppage of life. I don't care who did it, just that a life was ended before it was supposed to. You pick a rose, that's murder. You stab a girl, that's murder. You abort a fertilized egg, that's murder. And for me, murder is wrong.

Now the whole point of this debate is whether or not abortion should remain legal. This is where my fourth criteria, human nature, comes in. Let's say that abortion is re-classified as illegal. That won't stop people from having unwanted pregnancies. It's in human nature to have unprotected sex, that won't EVER stop. What will stop if abortion is illegal is the capability of reputable doctors to perform abortions. Reputable medical schools would have to stop TEACHING how to do it in fact, so there would be an entire generation of doctors who won't know how to do it at all. So to get an abortion, a woman would have to go to a non-reputable doctor. Which would lead to the very real possibility of her death. Now, I believe that one murder is bad, TWO murders is even worse. So, I support abortion being legal.

However, I can't personally support abortion. I just don't think it's the right thing to do. After all, I consider it murder! But with this last bit, my own personal code of ethics comes in. I've stated in previous posts, that I can't expect the rest of the world to live by my rules. The rest of the world, by definition, would include the hypothetical pregnant woman who I'm in the relationship with. According to my ethics, my rules do not override her decisions. So, while I can't support abortion personally (and I never will), in the end the choice must rest solely on her shoulders. Experience has taught me that lesson all too well.

And that's my stance on the subject. I don't really fall in either camp, but reside in the small overlap of both theories. I don't ask that you agree with me, dear readers, as I said this is a very hot button topic that leads to intense debate and serious fights. But, I hope that after reading this post, you'll at least understand my point of view. Share your point of view in the comments section!

Diet Update - Weight Watchers Week 3

2011-09-28T09:32:00.000-04:00

It's been a little while since I've written one of these. With all the upheaval going on in my life, it is difficult to take the time to sit down and write one of these posts. But, if I don't take the time to do it, it'll be the first thing that slips. One slip will lead to another, and another, and then I'll be back where I started. So this is me taking the time to chronicle my latest step on the path to a healthier me. You'll notice that I didn't make a reference to war or a battle there. That's because I've actually changed the way I see this process. It's a small change, but as is evident in Chaos Theory, small changes can vastly alter the course of events. And this was a very small change.

Up until now, I saw my weight loss as an adversarial process. I thought I had to battle myself, to wage war against my mind in order to accomplish my goals. However there is a rather large flaw in that theory. My gaining weight wasn't a malicious act. There wasn't some part of me that cruelly plotted to kill me over the course of 30-50 years by putting food in my mouth. I am the way I am right now because of the choices I made. Sure, there were outside influences, but I chose how I reacted to those influences and events I couldn't control. I chose how they would affect me; how much importance to place on them. In the end, it was all my decision. And these decisions were made slowly, step by step... OVER TIME! When I realized that, I came to the inevitable conclusion that for this issue I was facing, I had to work the same way. I didn't need to mount some huge counter-offensive in my head. I just needed to make small changes and keep them going. If I want to be a healthy person, I have to make the choices that will lead me to that. It won't be instantaneous, and it won't be easy. But it is that simple.

And these choices can't be made for frivolous reasons. It is statistically proven that the average man will not make the choice to eat healthier until they have a major health crisis. I am proof of that. If it wasn't for my Gall Stone incident, I wouldn't be doing this. It isn't to get sex. it isn't to get a girlfriend or a wife. It isn't to become some active martial arts master. And, it isn't for anyone else, either. Lord knows, practically all of the few girlfriends I've had have asked me to lose weight. Friends, family, even strangers have all given me excellent reasons to lose weight. But in the end, I made this decision because I realized that I want my life. The good, the bad, the in between, I want it all. I want to live my life. And I want to live it for as long as possible. The only way I can do that (that's in my control) is to be healthier, to change my lifestyle and lose the weight that will most definitely kill me MUCH sooner than was intended. I did it because I WANTED TO.

There are people out there who have told me that I am an inspiration to them. Some have even started on their path to being healthier and losing weight because of me. That's pretty cool, and I wish you all the best. But, I hope you're doing this for the right reasons. Those reasons will sustain you during the rough road ahead.

Getting back on track, this is my 3rd week in Weight Watchers. When I started, I had gone up in weight from where I was on the HMR diet. That was mostly because I was no longer eating extremely low calorie foods. I went from 476.2lbs up to 480.4lbs. I missed my first meeting after that, so I don't know if I lost anything that first week. However, my second week, I had dropped 5.2lbs to be at 475.2 lbs. This put me just under the weight I was at during the last week of the HMR diet. So, I lost what I had gained, plus a pound or so. Here are the stats for my week 3 weigh in:

Previous Weight: 475.2lbs
Current Weight: 468.8lbs
Weight Delta: -6.4lbs

This is my single biggest drop in weight EVER. And, it isn't a mystery as to how it happened. I finally started going to the gym. In the past week, I've done a total of 3 two hour workout. I did some cardio to warm up, some weight training to build muscle, and then 60+ min of cardio to just burn fat. At this rate, in just 3 weeks, I will reach my first WW goal of losing 5% of my body weight. And that will be pretty cool. In the meeting, they also talked about physical anchors. Actual objects to remind you of the goals you accomplished. When I hit that 5% goal, I know exactly what I'll get as a reward and an anchor. I'll tell you when I get it.

Top Ten Movie Songs...

2011-09-17T02:04:00.001-04:00

By now, my dear readers, you should all know that I am a unabashed movie lover. However, Loving movies isn't just about collecting a bunch of DVDs and stacking them in a bookshelf or collecting digital copies on an external hard drive. It's about appreciating all aspects of movies: direction, cinematography, acting, writing, and music. Yes, even music. No matter how powerfully written a scene is, adding the right music adds an infinitely greater power to the scene, be it comic or tragic, intense or lighthearted. And music has been an aspect of movies that I have not given props to in this blog. Well that ends right now.

I've compiled my top ten movie songs as an ode to the depth music adds to movies. Now, as always, there are ground rules. The song has to be an actual SONG, meaning having lyrics as well as music. (Musical scores will be in a future post, I promise.) And the song has to be indelibly, inextricably linked to the film. Just because it's a hit song and it was in a movie doesn't make it a real movie song. Ready? Here we go:

10 - From Electric Dreams(1986), Culture Club's "Love Is Love"

We start the list with a little known 80s movie about Miles and his new computer that on one fateful night comes alive thanks to a fortuitous spill of liquid into the machine. One of the best scenes is when the man tries to teach the computer the meaning of love so it can write a love song. The first version was... well horrendous would be too kind a word. After a bit more coaching from Miles, it "composes" the second version of the song to show what it has learned.

The real beauty of this scene is the simplicity of the cinematography. Lyrics on the computer screen and shots of the girl who is the object of both Miles and his computer's love. It enhances the music perfectly. Incidentally, this is the ONLY Culture Club song that I actually LIKE.

09 - From Mortal Kombat(1995), The Immortal's "Techno-Syndrome"

Yes, I know that this song was written specifically for the movie, but very few movie theme songs truly capture the spirit of the movie. I know this movie is horrible, and the fight choreography was even worse. But you have to admit, hearing that battle cry, "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!" just gets your blood pumping and ready for a fight!

For this song, I didn't include a clip from the movie, but this video does capture the spirit of the song even if the end credits kind of ruins the effect.

08 - From Weird Science (1985), Oingo Boingo's "Weird Science"

And we're back in the 80s with a John Hughes movie about 2 teen boys who manage to achieve the Holy Grail of nerddom by creating a real live girl with their computer. Yet, even though they created her, they still can't control her.

It's amazing that the same man who wrote the music for Beetlejuice and the 1989 Batman came up with such a light, pop song that could still touch upon so many of the themes of the film. And thank God too, the movie would not have been the same without it.

07 - From Eddie & The Cruisers 2(1989) - John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band's "Garden of Eden"

This movie was about a man struggling to suppress the music living inside him. Despite the world's loving his previous work.

This particular song is emblematic of the main themes of the movie. A song that sticks doesn't have to have a lot of flash, it only needs to speak to something deep inside you. Even with a simple topic like the struggles of a man trying to get a girl's attentions (and showing a young punk who thinks he's a musician what a REAL artist can do), you can write something that will stay with your audience forever.

06 - From Joe Vs. The Volcano(1990) - Eric Bourdon's "16 Tons"

Joe Vs. The Volcano is a low key movie with high powered actors that just needed the work. It tells the incredible story of Joe, a normal guy working a dead job and happens to him when he's diagnosed with a fatal disease called a "Brain Cloud".

Now this song wasn't written for the movie, just redone. This rock version while upping the power of the original song, also adds to the dank, soul-killing atmosphere that Joe finds himself in at the beginning of the movie and the strength of will it takes to survive in that environment and maybe, just maybe getting OUT of that world.

05 - From Risky Business(1983), Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock 'N' Roll"

Do I really need to introduce this? Really?

This scene is over 25 years old, and yet as soon as that song starts playing the first image that comes to mind is Tom Cruise sliding down the hall and dancing around rejoicing that his parents are gone.

04 - From Say Anything...(1989), Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes"

To know Lloyd Dobler is to love him. Watch this movie and you will know Lloyd Dobler. This movie has so many awesome lines and great moments. This film pretty much sealed my appreciation of John Cusack's talent.

But who can forget that iconic moment with Cusack holding up the boombox as the couple's song plays trying to get his ex to talk to him again? Talk about a moment of movie magic! I was kind of hoping to find a video of the full song with that scene in it, but I had to settle for the music video.

03 - From Highlander(1986), Queen's "Who Want's To Live Forever?"

A movie of immortals roaming the world, in a contant struggle against each other to win the prize of being the last and only immortal left in the world. In the end, there can be only one!

While I have my personal favorite songs from the movie, this particular song speaks to the core themes of the film. How love can make you feel alive & help you pass the endless years of an immortal life. But when you have to watch your loved ones grow old and die, why would you want to live forever? Listening to this song can still bring tears to my eyes.

02 - From Almost Famous(2000), Elton John's "Tiny Dancer"

Almost Famous, the story of a young man chronicling his time with an up & coming band during the early 70s. It's a wonderfully touching coming of age story.

There are times when you're with a group of people that everyone seems to suddenly hit the same vibe. In fact, the movie is mostly about people trying to catch and keep that vibe going forever. This moment in the film captures it perfectly.

01 - From Legend(1985) (U.S. Version), Tangerine Dream's "Loved By The Sun

This is Ridley Scott's simple fairy tale. A story of innocence and love and how easily those can be corrupted. It was also my introduction to Tom Cruise. Looking at the movie 26 years later, I can see all the inherent flaws in the story as well as the production. (Honestly, I would LOVE to see Ridley do a remake of this one. Yet, I still find the movie utterly captivating. It will never lose it's hold on me.

Due to studio interference, Ridley Scott's original vision was never fully seen in the US until very recently. The biggest and most pervasive change was the removal of Jerry Goldsmith's soundtrack for what the studio thought would be a more effective pop soundtrack. I have since seen the original version and the studio made a grevious error with that change... except for this song. It's the one thing from the US version of the movie that I would keep. It captures everything the movie portrays: the simplicity of legendary stories, the majesty of nature, the beauty of love, the allure of innocence and the corosive effect of hatred. The video I selected for this is the best version I could find that represents the true power of this song for me.

And there you have it folks. My top ten movie songs. What are YOUR favorite movie music songs?

Pick Things Up...

2011-09-16T22:54:00.000-04:00

Well, after a long arduous process, I have finally come to a decision. I have finally chosen a gym. Actually, I chose the gym a while ago but I've neglected to tell you about it, dear readers. You might ask why, given how forward I have been on other, more embarrassing, topics. Frankly, I didn't actually believe I had made the choice, and I haven't been going on a regular basis. It seems that at the time I made the decision and acted on that choice, the rest of my life imploded. The universe didn't want me to keep going at this moment. But that is the subject of another post. Right now, let's focus on one of the few positive events that have occurred in recent times.

Getting back to topic, I've never had any illusions (delusions?) about myself. I'm a fat man roughly the size of one of Jupiter's medium sized moons. (Don't argue with me on terminology. The reality is I'm fat. Let me enjoy showing off my intelligence by creating cool references to my size. It's one of the few pleasures in my life. God knows no one else puts any effort into it. Seriously, how difficult is it to call me "Fatso"? You have billions of neurons in your brains, people, USE THEM!!) Despite my size, I'm surrounded by overly healthy, fitness minded friends. Those very same friends are going to explode in reaction when I announce the gym I've chosen. Some of you may have guessed already, for those of you who haven't, the gym I chose is: Planet Fitness.

Now, I wait while you all explode in reaction, positive or negative.
.........
......
...
..
.

Done? Good. Now for those of you who like the choice, Thank you. For those of you who don't, I'm sure you have many good reasons for why I should have chosen whatever other gym. Those reasons might even be valid. But there is only one real reason why I chose Planet Fitness. It breaks down into 4 words. Ready? Here they are:

UNLIMITED FREE PERSONAL TRAINING

Get it? I've never been afraid to admit when I don't have knowledge in a given topic. In those topics, I defer to experts. But getting access to those experts can be prohibitively expensive, especially in the realm of health & fitness. So to get that knowledge for FREE (meaning at no additional cost above the membership fees) is a chance I HAD to grab. While my membership allows me to go to any of their facilities, the gym I'm going to be at the most is the one on Exit 6 next to Chunky's. I'll usually be there at night, most likely after 8pm so I can avoid the crowds and have access to more machines. Any of you who have memberships, feel free to drop by, you might even see me!!

I Love This Plan, I'm Excited To Be A Part Of It....

2011-09-05T22:28:00.000-04:00

Since I lost my diet plan last Thursday, I've been thinking about where to go from here. After all, I still have direct health issues to deal with. Just because I'm not paying an OBSCENE amount of money to a diet program doesn't make my medical problems go away. I gave serious consideration to devising my own plan and working that. I have no doubt that I can do it, or that it would be effective. After spending several minutes building up my ego on the subject ("Yeah, I can DO this!! It'll all be ME!!!), my mind decided to actually kick in and shut me up by bringing to light the biggest problem with me doing this on my own: depression.

There are times when I get really depressed. Due to life stuff, due to financial stuff, due to whatever, and being on a program by myself, I can lose track of the importance of being "on plan" just because I don't care enough about myself at the moment. (It's happened in the past, believe me.) In virtually all those cases, it took the influence of someone ELSE to break me out of my "funk". I looked at some online only programs, but that just gives the illusion of being connected. In reality (or IRL, for the chat savvy amongst you, my dear readers), you're still alone in a room, typing on a PC.

One of the many good things about the program I was on, was being in a tiny room (which was kind of stupid considering there were going to be a great deal of obese people there) full of people going through the same things you are. Some are further along (which gives you hope that you can make the next couple of days or weeks), others are just starting (to whom YOU give hope to. Which can be quite weird!), and some are just maintaining their weight. But that energy is something that was cool to tap into. While the instruction wasn't all that great (but teaching ME, of all people, can be challenging given my data absorption rate), but my classmates were cool. I got some good ideas from them, and I think they got some good ideas from me. In the end, I wanted to get in touch with that vibe again.

So, I looked around and decided to join Weight Watchers. It's kind of the best of both worlds. I get to be in a comprehensive program which has been around FOREVER. (Says alot, right?) I get to go to meetings which by their very nature will have a different flavor of that same vibe I'm looking for. It's inexpensive (only $40/month), and since they don't have food restrictions (just portion control) I can design my own meal plan. I joined today, and I'm learning the ropes on their online site. Later on, when I get the moolah, I'll be getting either an iPod Touch or a smartphone to get the WWMobile app and be tracking EVERYWHERE!! For now, I'll need my home PC (or I can track at work). The WW Center is near my house and on my way home from work, so that's really cool! I go to my first meeting tomorrow evening. I'm kind of nervous, but that's natural when starting something new.

For those of you in WW, my daily points allowance is 71, which I hear is a LOT of food. Right now, I'm working on figuring out how many points I used today, which I have to get back to. So this is so long for now, folks. Oh, and keep an eye out, I might have another announcement in a couple of days!

Diet Update: Week 6 - The Final Week

2011-09-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

You are probably very intrigued by the title of this post. After all, I told you that the initial phase of my diet program was 13 weeks. But when I first heard of this program while sitting in my hospital room at St. Joseph's, I made what has turned out to be a prophetic statement. And, dammit, I was proven right. The statement was very simple. "I don't think I can afford this program." At the time, though, it was a medical necessity because I needed to lose weight quickly in order to increase the safety margins of the operation to remove my gall bladder. I thought it would go quickly because of the weight I had already lost on the IV fluids, but that turned out to be COMPLETELY wrong.

Now, I'd been working with the people running the program to manage the doctor and class fees as well as the cost of food. And for a little while, things were going well. Then the prices went up on the food and I started falling behind. I kept up a valiant effort, and I thought I was holding my own. Because of my suspended license (see previous post), I missed Tuesday's diet class. I called in and let them know the situation. I also told them I'd make up Tuesday's class tonight.

I walk into the clinic, and the lady who 6 weeks ago told me that she would do whatever it takes to make the fees work for me tells me that I currently owe $410. I told her I could pay half. she said she was getting pressure from the corporate office and she needed to collect the whole amount. I informed her that I couldn't do that and still pay my rent. My only other option was to with the At-Home version of the program, so I wouldn't have to pay for classes. That dropped my debt to $310. Yay!! I still can't pay that. And just like that, I couldn't continue in the program.

So, with a small supply of diet food in my house, I was asked if I wanted to put down the $200 I had towards the debt. I know she was trying to be nice. I really, really do. Which allowed me to keep from yelling my response to her. If I give you that money without being in the program, I don't get the diet food, and I won't have the money to buy groceries (a.k.a. REAL food), since the rest of my money HAS to go to the rent. I guess while I wasn't yelling, I came across kind of intense because she seemed a bit taken aback. She asked if I would like to talk to their nutritionist to set up one on one consultations. I said sure and sat to wait for the nutritionist's schedule to open up. After about 3-4 minutes of waiting, I saw the nurse that handled my weigh ins, and told her I was out of the program, but I wanted to get a final weigh in. She said she could in a few minutes. Then one of the class instructors came out, recognized me and came over to chat. I sketched in the situation, and she seemed genuinely sorry. Then she headed in to start her class. Another minute or so, and the nurse came out to do my weigh in:

Previous Weight: 476.2lbs
Current Weight: 477.6lbs
Weight Delta: +1.4.6lbs

(Although, my scale at home says I'm at 470lbs.. so think on that!)

That was the icing on the fucking cake! I went UP in weight this week! I thanked the nurse for the courtesy and then sat back down to wait for the nutritionist. After a further 10 min or so of waiting, I get called back up to the reception area, where I'm told that I would need a referral from my primary care physician in order to set up the one on one consultations. Rather than have me wait (neatly skipping over the 20 min or so I had just wasted waiting), I could just get the referral and then come back.

I nodded and turned to collect my things and leave. As I was about to walk out, the lady asks if I would like to buy the week's worth of food I had ordered. Once again, I showed the mastery of my restraint and didn't yell my response, but I couldn't really mask the bitterness in my voice, as I simply said, "There really wouldn't be a point." And left.

From the beginning, I KNEW this program was going to end this way. I had no doubt that I would be able to do the diet, I just knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. And the fucked up part is, the program was WORKING!! Aside from today's mishap, I had lost approximately 30lbs!!! This is yet ANOTHER THING that I couldn't fucking have because I simply did not have the money for it! God, I am so angry right now I could kill someone.

But this is NOT the end of my health issue. It's not like my gall bladder is going to suddenly fix itself. I still have to lose weight to have the surgery. I still want to keep losing weight until I get into my target range of 200-250lbs. This is just the end of that particular diet program. And I have changed. I'm no longer drinking soda as if I were hooked on an IV, I'm walking 3/4ths of a mile every day (except during rain storms and hurricanes), and I am healthier. Which brings up the question: what happens next?

Well, some of my friends had said to me (after I got out of the hospital & before I started the HMR diet program) that I could lose the weight on my own. Are they correct? I don't know, but I guess it's high time I find out.

Speaking of the Big House...

2011-09-01T20:33:00.000-04:00

Awhile back, I got a ticket because my car was not registered & I got a warning because I still had my temp driver's license. That started an odyssey that put me up against the DMV in TWO different states. Two days and massive headaches with a double dosage of bureaucracy, and I was able to get my actual license & my car registered. But in my battles, I forgot one key thing: the original ticket.

It was forgotten until this past Friday, when I was pulled over by the cops and found out that my license was suspended. And as you all know, driving with a suspended license is against the law. And what happens when the cops catch you doing something illegal? You get arrested. Yes, my dear readers, I was arrested on Friday. When the cops put the cuffs on me, he told me that he was cuffing me with my hands in front because I was too big to fit in the back of the police car with my hands cuffed behind me. It turns out he was right. I was barely able to get in the car with my hands in front.

Getting out of the car was another ordeal. After a couple of minutes trying to get out, the cop had to uncuff one of my hands, so I could get out of the car. He cuffed me again and walked me into the police station, booked me and threw me in a cell. I was fingerprinted (digitally, which was so cool!) then placed back in my cell to wait for the bail commissioner. I signed some paper work paid a fine to the B.C. and then got a cab ride home. Then I got a ride to the tow yard, where my car was and paid the fine to get my car out, had a friend drive my car home and then take me to work. And then for the next five days, I had to make due with rides to work and staying home instead of doing what I needed to get done (like go to my diet class). Then I got my paycheck and paid the DMV off and got my driving privileges re-instated.

In the Big House....

2011-09-01T16:50:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know what happened at the end of House's seventh season:

DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST!!! SERIOUSLY!DON'T DO IT!!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

At the of S7 of House, M.D., our favorite misanthropic medicine man drove a car through his ex-girlfriend, Cuddy's, house. Luckily no one was hurt, but that was one HELL of a fuck you. The last we saw of House he was on a beach basking in the sun. Now check out the preview for season 8 of House, M.D., potentially it's final season:

Prepare yourself for an obvious bad pun... It looks like House wound up in the Big House for that little stunt last year. (Told ya, it would be a bad pun... Hey, at least, I warned you!) It looks like he achieved the status he so envied in an anecdote he told previously about a hospital janitor in Japan who no one acknowledged until there was an undiagnosable medical condition at which point, the janitor was called to save the day. This season also marks the end of 13's (a.k.a. Dr. Remy Hadley) tenure on the show. Rumor has it that if S8 turns out to be House's final season, she might pull a comeback, but that remains to be seen.

Still, it looks like House is still up to his old tricks, and if this is his final run, I hope it's a good one!! Thoughts?

End Of Summer...*

2011-09-01T10:07:00.000-04:00

Summer is always a bittersweet time in my year. I don't like intense heat, but it's a break from the seemingly never ending cold of New England. I'm not great with women and seeing them strut around in less than nothing is a painful reminder of that, but nothing beats scantily clad women walking around all over the place. (Except NAKED women, of course!) Hey, I'm a straight guy, staring at women is built into my DNA. Now, summer is coming to a close and to be quite honest, I look forward to it. My favorite season is Autumn after all, so I just take the end of summer in stride.

Right around this time, though, a very specific memory comes to mind. It's back from when I was in college in Vermont. This was during a time in my life when I was still just a city boy getting used to the cultural shock of living in a rural environment. Instead of going home for the summer, I volunteered to stay at the college and work for the summer in the computer labs to help the Summer Language programs with their IT issues.

Normally, when someone thinks about Vermont they think of nothing but miles & miles of snow and cold weather. Take it from me, you wouldn't be too far off. But during the summer (short as it is up there), it's like a whole other world. Almost like something out of a fairy tale. Personally, I hated it. I missed the sounds and rhythms of the city. The honking horns, the blend of different foods cooking in the air, the people yelling.. all of it.

One night, I was walking back to my dorm after my shift, and taking my usual shortcut through a field when I spotted something in the almost waist high grass in front of me. The only way I could describe it was that it looked like the grass was sparkling. At first, I thought I was imagining it. I kept walking and I saw it again. The grass was sparkling!! I stopped dead in my tracks and just watched. When I stopped moving, I noticed that the lights were moving and blinking on and off. That's when my brain kicked the awe & surprise out and I realized what I was seeing: fireflies!

In my whole life, I had NEVER seen a firefly. I stayed in that spot watching the fireflies for a full ten minutes before they drifted away. Looking back it seems kind of stupid, but at the time it was a very magical moment for me. That moment is when I got my first real appreciation for nature. If the non urban world can come up with something that beautiful... there might be something to it. And if I recall properly, later on that week, I met my first girlfriend.

Every year when summer ends, that memory comes to mind. Interesting, huh?

* This post was written for Awesome Annie's Rockin' Art Show. Check it out. You might learn something!

The Birth of Psychoanalysis...

2011-08-31T15:49:00.000-04:00

There are times when several great people get together under the hand of a master and accomplish something beyond awesome. It happened with the Ocean's Eleven remake and I think it's going to happen again. Check out the following trailer for A Dangerous Method:

I doubt that this will gain the same level of press buzz as Ocean's Eleven, but many great films were ignored by the masses. Just think about this, we have Michael Fassbender (Hex, 300, X-Men: First Class), Keira Knightley (POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl, King Arthur, The Jacket), Viggo Mortensen (The Prophecy, Hidalgo, Eastern Promises), and Vincent Cassel (Ocean's 12, Eastern Promises, Black Swan) all in ONE Movie under the direction of David Cronenberg (Scanners, eXistenZ, History of Violence)... This is a MUST SEE MOVIE!!

Welcome to Fright Night... For Real

2011-08-30T21:39:00.000-04:00

There was a time back in the day when horror movies were fun to watch. They didn't take themselves too seriously, but they weren't complete spoof movies either. Then came movies like Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, and Friday the 13th which proved that horror movies can be a serious money making genre for Hollywood, and a good portion of the fun left the genre. Like the original, Fright Night is a fun movie.

The storyline isn't really original. A teenage boy, Charlie (played by Anton Yelchin), finds out that his next door neighbor, Jerry (Colin Farrell) is actually a vampire. Predictably, no one believes him, so he goes to the nearest vampire expert Peter Vincent (played by David Tennant) to help him kill Jerry. Honestly, it sounds like the plot of practically every vampire movie before Blade. But Fright Night differs in how it treats the concept of it's story line.

For example, it's a trope of modern day vampire lore for vampires to have exotic sounding names or old world versions of common ones, which is played with by naming the vampire Jerry. And then have the characters in the film riff on that. And there are plenty of other clever little tricks thrown in to give the overloaded vampire movie genre a fresh cleansing breath of laughter. I would say that the closest I've seen to this style of writing comes from Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the tv show), but that's not really a surprise since the main writer of this movie, Marti Noxon actually wrote for that show. Obviously the script for this version covered a great many of the plot holes of the original as well as updated the story for modern times. It also added more dimension and depth to the characters, giving the cast more to sink their teeth into, so to speak.

Speaking of the cast, the casting was also phenomenal. For me, most movies starring Colin Farrell tend to be hit or miss depending on whether or not the director chooses to let Farrell act or just focus on his movie star looks. With Fright Night, there really wasn't a chance for a miss since either approach, given the tone of the film, would just enhance the performance. Anton Yelchin is perfectly cast as Charlie, since he seems to specialize in being able to display courage, fear, sincerity and intelligence all at once. My favorite role of his is still the young Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation, but Fright Night is a close second. But the real surprise for me was how much I loved David Tennant (formerly the 10th Doctor Who) as Peter Vincent. This Criss Angel clone version of Peter Vincent really played to Tennant's major strength as an actor which is the constant switching from semi-serious to completely outrageous and back. I do have to admit, it was awesome seeing Tennant again.

Overall, I can't say that this movie will be winning any Oscars, or even MTV Movie awards. This isn't an award type of movie. I would this more as a modern day cult classic along the lines of Army of Darkness. So, if you're looking for a cool flick to pass a couple of hours with, I would DEFINITELY recommend Fright Night. Oh and if you go see it, keep an eye out for a couple of cameo appearances, one by Lisa Loeb and the other... I'll leave as a surprise.

Oh, and to end this particular review, I'll leave you with my favorite song off the Fright Night 2011 soundtrack, Hugo's cover of 99 Problems! Enjoy!

More Medical News...

2011-08-26T00:07:00.000-04:00

Today was the day I met the surgeon that is going to eventually take out my gall bladder. The appointment was little more than a 15 min conversation. And at the end of that conversation, I have to ask a question: Do all doctors go to a class that teaches them how to deliver news in the most doom & gloom, creepy way possible? I mean, I get it. I've watched the requisite medical shows. I understand the psychology here. Most people in my situation are kind of clueless about the dire circumstances they are in. And an overly blunt, even slightly cold recitation of the possible outcomes can be a shocking awakening, kind of like a bucket of glacier cold water dumped on you. But in my case, all it really did was showcase how little this doctor knew of the kind of man I am.

I already knew the risks, and I know the dangers I'm currently facing as well as the factors I have on my side. So while the shocking speech really had no effect on me, it did allow me to learn something about my surgeon. And I liked what I deduced. He seemed to be a no nonsense, straight talking kind of man. The type that will always tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. This is the type of man that can be a good ally in the medical battles ahead of me.

As for the medicine, we covered the risks of the procedures I have to have done. There are two. One is the gall bladder removal, and the second is an endoscopic procedure to check and make sure that all the gall stones are out of my system (and if not, remove them). There is a risk in delaying the procedures, but that same delay also buys me time to lose more weight and increase the safety factor. My surgeon has done this many times and according to him 800,000 gall bladders are removed in the US every year. It's a very common procedure with minor risks.

We went over my gall stone incident in the broad strokes, and I sketched out the particulars of the diet program I'm in. He wanted to discuss permanent weight loss options, meaning gastric bypass surgery or the lap band ring. But I pretty much vetoed that. This diet is working for me, and I want to give it a real shot before I start to consider more drastic, surgical options. As for how well the program is working, realizing how much I lost in such a short time kind of clued the doc into the fact that I was taking this very seriously.

By his assessment, (and I agree) my weight loss progress is good so far, but now I have to step up my game. The easy part of my weight loss program is pretty much over, now it's time for more strenuous activity so I can ramp up the drop in weight. A side benefit of more powerful workouts is that my muscles, skin & other organs will tighten up. This will reduce the amount of excess skin I will most likely have to remove as I keep up the weight loss.

I also got a time frame for the surgery. Balancing risk vs reward, safety vs medical necessity, he would recommend the procedure be done within the next 2 months. I set up another appointment with him in a month to further assess my progress. If things are going well, he'll schedule the surgery at that time. But the surgery will have to be at least a month out. We both agreed that this is the best course of action.

From here on out, my goals are basically to stick with the diet, ramp up the physical exercise and focus on losing as much weight as I possibly can. I still believe that I can lose all the weight I need without surgical intervention. Now, it's time to put my money where my mouth is and PROVE IT!

Diet Update: Week 5

2011-08-23T23:15:00.000-04:00

Well, it's Tuesday night, again, and you all know what that means!! That's right, it's time for my diet update!! Grab the popcorn, put the kids to bed, this is going to be an amazing ride!!! (Not really..) For those of you who don't remember, my diet changed last week due to financial difficulties. I couldn't afford the diet with all the medical supervision, so they dropped the doctor visits. This had the unexpected side effect of switching me to an alternate beginner's track.

Before, my diet consisted of a minimum of 3 shakes & 2 entrees. I could have more, but that was the basic minimum I had to consume daily. The numbers approximate 1,000 calories a day. But that was with medical supervision. Now, my diet has an added "catch", I have to have 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. MINIMUM... What's a serving? Usually about 1 cup of whatever item your discussing. Unless it's salad greens.. one serving of lettuce (for example) is THREE cups!! DAMN!!

According to their numbers, the average U.S. citizen eats about 1.5 cups of fruits & veggies COMBINED in a day. My diet requires I almost TRIPLE that. Nice, right? Well, this first week, I tried the best I could, and managed to get up to about 3 servings a day for 3-4 days. But something about the switch worked. Check out my weigh in results!!

Previous Weight: 480.8lbs
Current Weight: 476.2lbs
Weight Delta: -4.6lbs

And another 4 lbs down!!! Yeah!! Right now, I'm at the weight I was when I left the hospital after my GSI (gall stone incident). This is kind of a mind blowing thing. Get this: I was on IV fluids for 4 days with no food of any kind and then on hospital food for 2 days. When I left I was 474lbs. Get that? In less than ONE WEEK, I dropped from 506 to 474. When I started eating solid foods, I gained it all back.

It took me FIVE WEEKS to lose almost the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF WEIGHT!! Fucked up, right? And this latest 4 lb drop was INCLUDING fruits & veggies!! All in all, this was a good weigh-in. I kinda feel like celebrating, but I don't really have a way of doing that just yet. I'll think of something!

Strange Events Today...

2011-08-23T14:00:00.000-04:00

Today has become kind of surreal for me. First, I realize that all my clothes are starting to feel looser than they were before. I have 3 pairs of jeans, 1 pair that is blue and 2 that are black. The blue jeans were always loose on me. One of the black jeans was a little tighter than the blue but still kinda loose. The other black jeans were tight. Both of my black jeans were so tight in fact, that I didn't need belts to wear them. Yesterday, around mid-afternoon I noticed that I had to keep pulling up my jeans (they were a black pair). Today, I grab the other black jeans and the same thing starts happening, to the point where I had to dig around to find my belt or risk my pants sliding half way down my butt and making me look inappropriately cool (NOT).

Secondly, at lunch today, one of my co-workers tells me that there is a noticeable difference in my appearance! I've been looking at myself and referencing an old pic (prior to all of this) and I have NOT seen a difference. Then a second co-worker concurred! This part is cool, but kind of unbelievable.

Finally, there's my walk. One, I noticed that I've gained speed again. I'm now at 6 min per quarter mile. Which is great, until you realize that the same 18 min that it took me to do 2 laps, I'm now doing THREE laps!! DAMNIT!!!! What's worse is, I did 3 laps and I only had minor cramping in my back. It looks like my new shoes and insoles are helping out my cause.

But this walking thing is getting kind of dangerous, I was almost hit by a FedEx truck during my second lap. I'm still a big guy, I can't believe the guy almost didn't SEE me!! But I'm okay and it looks like this new diet stuff might actually be working!

Looney Tunes Auto Insurance

2011-08-22T20:04:00.000-04:00

I've always found the art of filming commercials interesting. Such a short time to hawk a product to millions of people. And very few make good ones. One such company is my car insurance company, Geico. For years, their commercials have had me rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!! (or ROTFLMAO for those of you who can't read normal english anymore)

I just saw a new commercial (to me) for Geico that I think is hysterical!! Check it out:

However, my favorite commercial is the one with "the Movie Trailer Guy" Don LaFontaine. *does the voice*

In a world where no recognizes a man, his voice becomes memorable..

Check out this one:

That is by far my FAVORITE Geico commercial!!

Economic Implosion....

2011-08-22T15:11:00.000-04:00

I am very particular about the movies I like. I used to think that I was open to any and all movies, but to be completely honest, I'm a movie snob. And being the "larger than life" personality that I am (a quote from my friends, I don't actually believe that about myself), I make sure that everyone knows how much of a movie lover I am.

The cool thing about my friends is that whenever they find an interesting or "out there" kind of movie, they bring it to my attention. This was after they stopped trying to find movies that I haven't seen at the local video store. The age of the internet makes it easier to just send me links to movie trailers. Here's the latest trailer I was recommended by my friend, Rafael.

Hollywood continues it's obsession with beginning of the fall of US economy in 2008. But given how little has been actually explained, it is a rich topic for exploration. The really interesting part of all this is the casting though.

For a single film to attract the attentions of Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany, Jeremy Irons, Zachary Quinto, Simon Baker, Stanley Tucci and Demi Moore, the concept and script must have been an AMAZING read. This is a movie I'm DEFINITELY going to see. Thoughts?

Thoughts On... The Nuances of Morality

2011-08-17T00:08:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I was given the opportunity to try a new activity. One that, when I first heard about it, I thought went against my established principles and morals. Granted, I wanted to do it, after all, trying something new is always interesting, but something in my head put the brakes on, and I was locked in indecision.

And that was the key thing. Normally, when I find that something goes against what I believe, I just refuse and drop the matter. But something kept pushing me to reexamine the situation. It was like I knew I would be making a mistake by refusing. And it turned out I was right. In re-thinking the issue, it turns out that I was refusing because the opportunity was being provided by someone who wasn't acting according to what I thought should be done. And once I figured that out... everything changed.

The single biggest rule in my personal code of conduct is that my rules apply to ME. I can't expect the rest of the world to live by MY rules. Who am I to tell everyone else what to do? God? Hitler? The Republicans? No. Just because someone is acting by what they believe is right instead of what I believe is right doesn't make their actions wrong. I don't eat snails or frog's legs, but I don't say that the French are wrong to enjoy that. In re-examining the situation from that perspective, my whole outlook on the matter changed and I think it became much more accurate.

However, in looking back, I'm surprised how subtle the influence of my principles are. It was a gentle pressure to guide my "kneejerk reaction" to land against something that turned out to be greatly to my benefit. I think that in the future, I will be much more vigilant in how I apply my philosophy to the world around me.

Diet Update X2

2011-08-16T23:35:00.000-04:00

As you may have noticed, I skipped my diet update last week. There wasn't any real reason for it, I just forgot. Hey, I'm human, I'm entitled to some forgetfulness every once in awhile, right? I still went to my diet class, I'm still on the diet. Nothing's changed... Well, that's not exactly true, but we'll get to that a bit later. Because I forgot, today you're getting a DOUBLE DOSE of diet magic!! Here are the numbers for last week's meeting (8/9):

Previous Weight: 486lbs
Current weight: 482.2lbs
Weight Delta: -3.8lbs

Now that was a bump up in the right direction! Unfortunately, I broke my diet again this past weekend. I had some Chinese food on Sunday and then some bar snacks on Mon. I don't really have an excuse except to say that I did it of my own free will, and I accept the consequences of my actions. Those consequences are below:

Previous Weight: 482.2lbs
Current Weight: 480.8lbs
Weight Delta: -1.4lbs

I checked with the diet people and today I've closed out my 4th week on this diet. I've looked back on my progress and my biggest issue is exercise. I've upped my physical activity a great deal this past month, but I need to really step it up. My calories burned need to jump drastically. So, by the end of this week, I will have joined a gym and started working out on a daily basis. And this will be IN ADDITION to my lunchtime walks! I'll just have to see which gym I can afford.Now, one month is a good milestone, right? So lets look back and see how I'm doing by the numbers.

Career High Weight (just before the hospital stay): 506lbs
Current Weight: 480.8lbs
Weight Delta: 25.2 lbs <===== Can you BELIEVE THAT!!! In just over FOUR WEEKS!! Right??

I mentioned earlier that something's changed. It's always been my belief that I wasn't going to be able to afford this diet. And at some point, I was going to be unable to continue because of the financial burden. Well, the first domino in that direction has fallen. In looking back on the past month, the higher ups in this program have identified that I'm struggling with the fees of the program. So they've moved me out of the medically supervised level of the diet. This by necessity means I'm now in the track that allows fruits & vegetables as part of my diet. This is the big change I was talking about earlier.

I'm hoping that this will help me save some money (since I don't have to pay for the doc visits any more) and make my life on this diet easier. We'll see how that plays out.

A Chill Falls Over Gotham....

2011-08-16T14:07:00.001-04:00

There's two months left and my anticipation builds with each passing day. So far, every thing I've heard & seen for Arkham City makes the game look even more awesome. Yesterday, they jumped to a new level of awesomeness!!!! They revealed a new boss and he looks off the HOOK!!! To modify a phrase from a tv show I'm watching:

THE FREEZE IS COMING!!!

Now, I have to admit, when I first read Mr. Freeze in the comics, I wasn't too impressed. He just seemed like a blank slate villain of the week to me. But when the people creating Batman: The Animated Series re-wrote him, he became much more fascinating. They maintained the hard-nosed aloofness of the comics version, while simultaneously adding a layer of tragic sadness & misery to him that made me empathize with Victor Fries's plight. These same people are working on the Arkham City game and they are carrying on with Dr. Fries's story in excellent fashion. Check out the trailer:

Wasn't that amazing? And I noticed a few things. One (and this is really awesome) they managed to get Michael Ansara (the voice actor who played Freeze in Batman:TAS and Batman Beyond) to reprise the role!!!!* Second, in terms of game mechanics, it looks like the boss fights in B:AC are going to be more customized to the style of the villains you're facing, which is amazing considering that the repetitive nature of the boss fights in B:AA was one of my pet peeves with the game. October 18th can not come fast enough!! What are YOUR thoughts on Mr. Freeze?

*NOTE: Turns out I was wrong on the actor playing Mr. Freeze. It's actually Maurice LaMarche.Another great veteran voice actor.

A Young Cimmerian ...

2011-08-11T13:27:00.000-04:00

Below, I have a video that I found of the first scene of the new Conan movie. It shows a young Conan eager to fight with the Warriors. There's nothing really spoilerish about it, and there's a trailer afterwards.

Check out the quality of the fighting and cinematography here...

After watching this scene, I'm feeling a GREAT DEAL better about this version of Conan The Barbarian. The trailer afterwards is pretty good too. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Top Ten Book Movies....

2011-08-07T09:38:00.000-04:00

So, there I was taking a 5 min mental health break at work and I decided to cruise some of the blogs my friends like reading and I came across the blog of a new author, Jennifer Hillier, who had a post about her top ten favorite movies based off novels and the idea caught fire in my mind! Come on, I'm a movie buff and I read a lot. Are you seriously surprised that I'm enthusiastic about this idea!!

But, being a movie buff, I can't just spit out a bunch of movie titles. After all, there are so many great (and not so great) movie versions of books. But the rules here are very simple: I can only include movies based on novels I've ACTUALLY READ. So, a great movie like, Shawshank Redemption, is out because I never read the story it was based on. Let's see if I can actually make it to ten!

10) Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling - While I did have some problems with the pacing of the film (it came across like a series of vignettes and not a school year in the life of Harry Potter), the movie managed to capture that sense of awe & wonder that is part & parcel of being a child and that the books had in spades. For me, it's what made the books so enjoyable to read.

09) Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams - Reading this series of books is taking a trip into a sci-fi wonderland built on complete and utter nonsense. A feat that I thought would be impossible to bring to live-action film. This movie proved me wrong. Now, I grant you the dry British style humor didn't really carry over to American audiences, but I still LOVED the movie.

08) Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton - In every book-to-movie translation, there are ideas that have to be dropped for many reasons. Watching the movie, I was amazed at how the filmmakers managed to retain so much of the core philosophy of the book with just a fossil (get it?) of the story line. And despite the media hype over the special effects of the movie, I was very relieved that the story had just as much importance as getting the dinosaurs as photo-realistic as possible.

07) LOTR: Fellowship of The Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien - Unlike the other two movies which mostly descended into a pattern of walking, fearfully waiting for major battle, inspired speech to dispel fear, major battle, and repeat, the first movie did exactly what the first book did: Make you fall in love with the Hobbits and their way of life. Pulling you into their world through kindness and affection and then gripping you with fear as that world is threatened. It was awesome!!!

06) The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown - This movie was basically a carbon copy of the book. Since the book was so awesome, the movie was therefore just as awesome. There's nothing like a good religious conspiracy to get the blood pumping!!!

05) Noble House by James Clavell - This is probably the longest book I've ever read without it being assigned in some class. The incredible depth of detail that Clavell poured into that book was masterfully reproduced in the movie. (Granted it's a made for TV movie that was split over 3 nights, but it was such an amazing work I had to include it!!)

04) The Dark Half by Stephen King - As this blog proves, I like to write. And given my predisposition to the Sci-Fi & Fantasy genres, I had come up with the idea of writing something that becomes real, but Stephen King did an EXCEPTIONAL job with this book and the movie really captured that spirit. It's one of the few movies that EVER creeped me out.

03) American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis - When I heard that this book was being made into a movie, I thought it would suck. There was no way a human being could portray the multi-faceted psychological landscape of the main character. Then I watched the movie and it was like I was watching the book play out before my eyes. I was riveted. This was also my introduction to Christian Bale, who soon became one of my FAVORITE actors.

02) Interview With A Vampire by Anne Rice - This book was recommended to me by the chaplain at my college. Yes, that's right. A man of God recommended a vampire novel to me. And I was with Anne Rice when she made it publicly known that she disapproved of the movie and the casting. Then I WATCHED the movie & I was blown away. The movie captured the book so well it was startling. And, I still owe Tom Cruise an apology for doubting his ability to play Lestat. I just wish the other movie in this series had been done as well.

01) Silence of The Lambs by Thomas Harris - This movie introduced my all time favorite movie villain, Dr. Hannibal Lector, to the rest of the world. And while the movie modified certain details (as they all do), it did a fantastic job of capturing the soul of the book and the style of Hannibal himself. This movie is by far my all time favorite adaptation!

Honorable Mention:

A Stir of Echoes by Richard Matheson - While it couldn't find a spot on my top ten list, this movie definitely deserves an honorable mention. Again, the movie captured the creepiness of the novel, but it also managed to perfectly display the escalating frustration of the main character, a normal blue collar worker, who has to deal with an exceedingly bizarre series of events occurring in his life. This is probably my favorite Kevin Bacon movie!

My Daily Walk

2011-08-05T13:50:00.002-04:00

As part of my new diet program, I have to burn about 2000 calories a week. I'm not there yet, but in an effort to comply, I have started to do a ten minute walk around my office buildings. I checked on Google's Distance Calculator and if I stay on the asphalt, one lap is equivalent to a quarter mile. I've been trying to do it on a regular basis. Normally, I wouldn't remark on something so mundane as walking, but yesterday something rather interesting happened.

Usually, there's someone walking with me so my walk goes by in conversation. Yesterday, I went by myself and about a minute into my walk, I decided to sing. There's usually no one around, so I just started up with "Swinging On A Star". As I was singing, a blonde on the other side of street (walking past the Crowne Plaza hotel next to my job) started smiling at me and told me I have a beautiful voice! Then on my second lap, I was joined by a co-worker who after I told her what the blonde said, virtually begged me to sing and she concurred!!

Like I said, the song I was singing was "Swinging On A Star". It's the version I heard on this amazing hidden gem of a movie called Hudson Hawk. Rather than torture you with MY version of the song. Here's the one I learned from:

Isn't it a great song???

Diet Update

2011-08-03T13:35:00.000-04:00

My weekly weigh-in this week did not go as well as I'd hoped. This past weekend, I broke my diet twice. It was partially emotional eating (I was stressed out due to car issues.) and part of it was strategic due to a mis-calculation in the needed amount of diet food. I'm back on the diet now, but the consequences of my break were felt this week. The worse part is I did an unofficial weigh-in in the morning at my house and the scale reported 476.8lbs!!! I was ecstatic!! But the official weigh-in told a different story. Here are the results:

Previous Weight: 487.2lbs
Current Weight: 486lbs
Weight Delta: -1.2lbs

That's what I get for breaking the diet. I should be back on track with my "aggressive" weight loss next week. Here's hoping!!!

Return To The Dead.... Soon

2011-07-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of buzz recently about one of the creepiest shows on television: AMC's The Walking Dead. The creator, Frank Darabont, leaving the show, but not before firing the entire writing staff. Questions about who the next showrunner is going to be, etc. But as the saying goes, the show must go on.. And it looks like nothing can stop the return of The Dead... Check out the newly released full trailer for Season 2 of The Walking Dead.

I think this is going to be a creepier, more suspenseful season than the first one!! Can't WAIT for October!!

Diet Update

2011-07-27T12:01:00.000-04:00

I went to my diet class last night for my weekly weigh-in. After my first week, I'm doing well. No side effects, no energy drop. Things are pretty much normal for me now. It feels like my life is settling down in this respect. I'm still dealing with the "temptation phase", but I have my ways to handle that. I'm still looking into a gym that I can afford to join so I can fully maximize the benefits of my diet. Now it's just a matter of keeping on, keeping on. The stats for last night's weigh in are below:

Previous Weight: 495.2lbs
Current Weight: 487.2lbs
Weight Delta: -8.0lbs

Interesting note: From my record high weight of 506lbs (before my hospital stay) to my current weight of 487, I have lost a total of 19lbs!! Cool, right??

Just In Time...

2011-07-26T14:24:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recommended that I see a trailer for a movie. At first I was hesitant, because this friend is kind of hit or miss with his movie choices, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. And the trailer was AMAZING! Simply amazing. I loved the concept, I loved the look... but the main lead is questionable... Check it out and let me know what you think...

First Week Down

2011-07-26T09:35:00.000-04:00

As of today, I have made it through my first week on the new diet. Honestly, it wasn't all that difficult. The trick was getting all of the different components set in my mind and then actually doing them. I don't have it all down yet, but I have the bulk of it set in mind. I had a little bit of difficulty on the weekend, because I didn't have the set schedule of my job to smooth out the eating regimen. In the end, I muddled through Saturday & Sunday, and managed to stay on diet.

And now that the mechanics of the new diet system are set in my head, I have entered what I call the "Temptation" phase of my diet. Since I don't have to focus so much on making sure that I meet the requirements of my diet (because it's becoming more routine), more of my mind is free to focus on the things the people around me are eating, that I used to be free to eat. Everyday foodstuffs like chicken or rice, now have a greater level of appeal to me. Earlier today, I went into my office's kitchen to make my afternoon shake and the smell of bread toasting was simply divine. I mean for crying out loud, it was TOAST!! Not even buttered... just TOAST!!

Don't get me wrong, I didn't have any desire to suddenly devour all the bread in sight. Not in the slightest. But the fact that it smelled so good was remarkable to me. Just like I noticed all the food commercials in the hospital when I couldn't eat, I'm noticing all the different foods around me now that I can't have them. I guess it's true that you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone.

Of course, the whole point of my diet is to eventually work normal, non meal replacement foods back into my normal eating, so eventually I'll get back to eating those foods, but it's truly amazing how much I notice the foods that are around me now.

The other thing that is amazing to me is the entire lack of an energy drop. I figure I was pulling down at least a 3K+ calories a day diet. Currently, I'm at about 1K a day. I would have thought given the drop, my energy would drop, but I still feel the same. People tell me that my energy level will increase over time, but I think given the amount of weight I have to lose, I don't forsee any energy level changes just yet. I am interested in seeing if I've lost any more weight when I go to my diet class tonight. Either way, I'll post the results here. I'm also going to take some "before" pictures for comparison sake to when I reach my goal weight. That should be fun.

Thoughts on... Geek Vs. Nerd

2011-07-25T11:48:00.002-04:00

According to a couple of my friends, I have lost my "geek" status. Mostly because I don't go all out and research every single thing about the subjects I'm interested in, or because I don't fully immerse myself in the realms I enjoy. Initially, that idea rankled. It was like they were denying an essential part of who I am. But, in really thinking about it, my friends are right. Despite all the times, I've called myself one, I'm not really a geek.

Firstly, being a geek has become WAY TOO FASHIONABLE. When a woman who has just won the Miss America BEAUTY PAGEANT can call herself a geek and not have the tiara ripped from her head and given to someone else, being a geek is too fashionable.

Second, when I was growing up, I found that I would rather spend time reading books, watching TV, and playing video games than deal with my problems in the real world. That accomplished 4 things:

A) Assured that I would never learn the social skills necessary to make interactions with the opposite sex anything other than problematic at best.

B) Increased my knowledge retention & application skills to the point where I vastly eclipsed my peers. Example: by my freshman year in high school, I had a BEYOND COLLEGE LEVEL language comprehension.

C) Shaped my mind in such a way as to only appreciate subject matter that had in some way, shape or form an intriguing cerebral facet. So, no MXC for me, thanks.

D) Set me up to be burned, many times over, when the real world I chose to ignore bitch slapped me out of my "safe" little bubble.

The first three had me ridiculed most of my childhood life for my intelligence, yet called upon often for that same intelligence, which led to an intriguing and complex form of isolation. No one wanted to spend time in presence or speaking to me, but if they had problems with schoolwork of any kind, I was their main resource. And after I was old enough to fully understand the nature of the lesson of the 4th, I gained a healthy respect for reality, which added a reluctance to leave it for any reason. My reluctance increased exponentially when I realize how infinitely complex the real world actually is.

This is not the story of a geek. Geeks are a newly formed class of people whose above average intelligence is now celebrated and in which people rejoice. That has NEVER been my experience. My intelligence has always been treated as a unpleasant necessity. In the end, people are right. I'm not a geek. If Miss USA is geek (of any stripe, shape or color), I am most definitely NOT a geek. Do you know what I am?

I'm the guy who grew up hating himself because while he could understand the science behind parallel universes & the philosophical problems of time travel, he couldn't manage to talk to girls (and still can't). I'm the guy who spent all his time alone because everyone around him thought he was too smart to hang with (most still do). I'm the guy who doesn't think spending most nights getting drunk to the point of throwing up or passing out is fun. In the end, there's only one thing I can be called accurately.

I'm a NERD.

Weight Loss Program...

2011-07-20T09:15:00.000-04:00

As you see this post, dear readers, I am starting on my 3rd day in my medically supervised weight loss program. It's called an HMR Bariatric program. The way it works is that for a period of time, I eat only the food the program gives me. As the weeks pass, I get to add in fruits & vegetables, and then lean proteins and grains. There are multiple tracks to this HMR diet, but the one I'm on is Track 1. In this track, I have to drink at least 3 shakes and eat 2 entrees a day, every day. I did the calculations and it looks like I'm on a 1,000 calorie a day diet. I also have to make sure I drink at least 64oz. of water each day and take the HMR vitamins twice a day.

It's a simple formula. And fairly easy to follow. The shakes are vanilla flavored and a little too sweet to my taste, but I can deal. Some of the entrees are good, some aren't. I'm still trying new ones to see which I like. Then I will customize my weekly food orders accordingly. I get to add some outside stuff, but not much so for right now, I'm just sticking to the HMR foods.

Also as part of this plan, I have to attend weekly classes. Every Tues night. I get weighed in, and also I get a checkup by a doctor. Last night, I went to my first class. The doc was on vacation, but since I haven't completed a full week on the diet yet, I wouldn't have seen him anyway. I did get my first weigh in. The last time I was weighed was this past Wednesday or Thursday. I was at 500lbs. At my first weekly weigh-in, after only 2 days on the HMR meal replacements, I was at 495.2lbs. Two days into the diet and I lost 4.8lbs!! I'm officially impressed.

The diet isn't really all that difficult to be on, honestly. My biggest temptation, soda, was killed a couple of weeks ago, just after I got out of the hospital. I had switched to eating more healthy, and then I slipped and got a bottle of Coke. I drank it and it tasted like battery acid! For the first time in my life, since I started drinking soda, it didn't taste good!! So, after that hurdle, my biggest worry about the HMR diet is whether or not I can afford it. But, as time goes on the costs drop, so I just have to endure as best I can. There are also plans in the works to increase my finances slightly which can help, if they pan out.

The one thing I really wasn't expecting is the amount of support I'm getting from my friends & co-workers. I tend to operate on the assumption (yes, I know about the danger of assumptions, but they still work) that people are most involved in their own lives, which makes sense and is quite natural. And that they rarely take notice of others because they are too busy dealing with their own problems. Which also makes sense and seems fairly logical. Yet since I've gotten out of the hospital, I've been working on changing my ways and becoming more healthy. And a lot of people have been taking the time to make encouraging comments, give me helpful suggestions (as opposed to forcing fad diets and unwanted advice on me), and listening to my concerns in order to help me address those concerns. Frankly, it's been quite touching and overwhelming. I have an amazing group of friends.

I know that road ahead of me is long, and things are going to get harder for me. But that's just life. I've always known I could handle that. But it's nice to know that I have such good people around to help me out. I know what you're thinking and I can emphatically say No! I am not turning into some bubbly, overly cheerful, beauty pageant wannabe. No matter how much weight I lose, I'm still going to be a misanthropic cynic with a penchant for over analyzing every day situations. I'm still going to be an stubborn & occasionally obnoxious know-it-all. But, if you can tell the quality of a man by the people he associates with, despite my natural personality quirks, I'm still a good man.

Previous Weight: 500lbs
Current Weight: 495.2lbs
Weight delta: -4.8lbs

Return To Gotham...

2011-07-18T14:19:00.001-04:00

And so it begins.. The final chapter of the Batman film franchise that will be under the helm of the genius film director known to us mere mortals as Christopher Nolan. In this chapter, Batman will take on Bane and most likely Catwoman in another battle for the soul of Gotham.

The film is coming out July 20th, 2012. Check out the teaser trailer by clicking on the link below:

The Dark Knight Rises

Thoughts On... Swords & Sorcery

2011-07-14T07:53:00.002-04:00

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a big fantasy fan. When it comes to fantasy, there are only 3 types of story: mystical, martial, and a mix of both. And in most cases, my preference is those fantasy stories that involve some form of magic or mysticism. Up until recently, I never really thought about why magic appeals to me. Especially considering that I’m an extremely logical (and scientific) kind of man. So, the idea that magic represents (the disruption of the natural laws of the world by the conscious will) should be anathema to me, but it isn’t. And I couldn’t help but start wondering why?

To really understand this, you have to understand that no matter what type of character you’re looking at, mystical or martial, it all comes down to power and the capacity in which one can use said power. Everybody knows the saying, “Knowledge is power”. At first glance, it looks like the point of the saying is that power in and of itself is the reason to acquire knowledge. But the part that everyone misses is that power is worthless if it’s not UTILIZED. The real benefit to gaining any type of knowledge is the avenues that knowledge opens up for a person to act. Now, let’s look at the two types of person we’re dealing with on an abstract level.

Generally speaking, the two types of characters, martial & mystical, are startlingly similar in nature. For both mystical and martial characters, it’s all about having a natural ability or disposition for a particular talent and then working hard to develop, expand, and master that talent. Usually this requires a great deal of study, interpretation & internalization of vast amounts of knowledge, and lots of practice using the talent. In most of the best stories, part of the mastery of the character’s ability includes developing the self-control needed to not use said talent for malicious ends. But the similarity stops when you get down to the core of each style of thinking.

For a martial character, the main point of their training is to bend themselves to the nature of their talent and the world around them. They study the various weapons available to them, and the various tactics those weapons allow them to employ. They train to strengthen their bodies to endure extended battles. They learn to separate their minds from their bodies in order to think THROUGH a fight, and so utilize the tactics they’ve internalized to ensure the best possible outcome in any given combat.

Now, as I said earlier, the real advantage to having knowledge is the doors it opens, the additional opportunities that knowledge gives someone for taking action. With a martial character, given what they are trained to do, the options are fairly limited. If they are facing a problem, they can attack, run, or surrender to that problem. There really aren’t any other options.

For a mystical character, the point is pretty much the exact opposite. In the mystical training, the character must bend the nature of their talent and the world around them to their will. They study the various effects that their ability offers them, and the various tactics those effects allow them to employ. But they also train to expand their minds in order to create more effects and thereby create NEW tactical avenues to explore. The idea being that with a mystical character, the more knowledge they attain, the more options for action they have. When faced with a problem, they are not just limited to attack, run, or surrender. A mystical character can fundamentally alter the nature or scope of the problem and by doing so open up more ways to resolve the challenge they face.

And while both types of character need a firm grounding in self-control, each type faces a different challenge when dealing with the self. At a certain point, the physical body can no longer handle the stresses of combat, so a martial character has an upper limit to what they can do, and consequently how far that self mastery has to go. While they can train to extend that limit, (increase strength, stamina, reflexes, etc) the physical body can only go so far. Therefore, the self mastery only needs to go so far.

For the mystical character, the matter of self-mastery never truly ends because their power is always growing. The more they learn and expand their mind & understanding, the more power they have. The more power they have, the more important their self-control becomes. After all, this is a type of character that can bring about any effect they choose. And, these effects are not limited to those solely pertaining to people. Unlike the martial character whose ultimate effect is killing someone or not, a mystical character, provided they have the power, can alter the physical world around them in whatever way they choose.

Because the power of the mystical character exists in their mind, it is an ever present temptation. A martial character is slightly less able when they’re taking a bath, or eating. But, the mind is always there. And the temptation of the type of power that the mystical character has access to only grows stronger as time passes. Their battle with self control is always there, lying in the background, just waiting for them to lose focus. That never ending challenge is the ultimate appeal of the mystical character for me. It’s the basis for the appeal of magic itself for me.

In modern day science, we have accomplished things that were previously unimaginable. And we did so by applying our minds to the world around us, gaining mastery & understanding of the rules of nature, and manipulating those rules to our benefit. That manipulation is essentially what magical characters do in fantasy stories. It’s the purpose of magic in general when it comes to fantasy. Magic is solely the realm of knowledge and the application of that knowledge to the fantasy world. Science is the same in the real world. In fact, modern day science faces the same temptations as magic in fantasy stories. And that is why I find magic and mysticism so appealing. In the end, magic in fantasy stories is appealing to me because of how much it reflects the role of science in the real world.

Now, I’ve stated in other posts that the best stories come from the blending of two polar opposites. And in the case of martial vs mystical characters, this most definitely holds true. And the best fantasy stories bear my theory out. No matter what, I’ll always have a special love for magic & mysticism in fantasy and no matter how great a story is, I’ll always hope for a little bit of magic to round it out.

My Medical Position...

2011-07-14T07:34:00.001-04:00

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything on the blog, and for that, I’m sorry. The reason is that I haven’t had the time to formulate any real thoughts. I’ve been entirely preoccupied with my weight issues and the obstacles the real world has placed in front of me to overcome.

Firstly, I’m back at my original weight, prior to the Gall Stone Incident, of 500lbs. The last time I weighed myself pre GSI, I was at 506lbs. After four days of the I.V. fluids only diet (which I do NOT recommend to anyone) I had lost 32lbs to weigh in at 474lbs!! I knew I was going to go back up a little after going back to solid foods, but I thought I might be able to hold on to at least SOME of that progress. My first full day out of the hospital, I was up to 477. A couple days later, I went up to 484lbs. Then it was 487… 491… 494.

Today, I went to a precursor doctor’s appointment for the medically supervised diet program. They weighed me and I clocked in at 500lbs. Thanks to years of training, I was able to hide my anger at regaining ALL of the weight back. My friend, David, who went through something similar weight wise though on a slightly different scale, played the role of experience & expertise and tried warning me that this was going to happen. And while I took the warning to heart, I kept hoping (damn that bitch, Pandora!!) that I could hold the line at the 494.

So now, a couple of weeks out of the hospital, I’m back up to 500lbs. After calming down and restarting MY normal level of thinking, I should be proud that it took me about a week to put back that last 6 pounds as opposed to the 4 days it took me to go from 477 to 494. I should also be glad that it was only 6 lbs and not the 12 that would have put me at 506 again! So there is a slight silver lining here. And the fact that I can see it, or that I even LOOKED for it, is a sign of major progress in another area of my life: my battle against negativity. I’m being more positive! They must be skiing like crazy in hell.

To wrap this up, here’s an interesting anecdote from my doctor visit today: One of the reasons my surgeon didn’t want to do the surgery was because at a certain point, they were going to have to tilt the table upward and there was a risk of the table tipping completely over due to my weight. Today, as I was getting off that bed/chair that every doctor’s office seems to love having their patients sit on, I had my entire weight (all 500lbs) on the step that you’re supposed to rest your feet on and the thing actually lifted off the floor on the other end!! That was a very unnerving moment for me. But I give credit where credit is due. Good call on postponing the surgery, Doc!! Good call!!

Your Mission Should You Choose To Accept It...

2011-06-29T09:16:00.000-04:00

So, I'm sitting in the hospital, cruising through the net as I've been prone to do now, and I found a recently de-classified video file. It looks like the IMF are getting back in the game, with some serious issues to resolve. Check it out:

I have to say, it looks good! It's nice to see Simon Pegg in the M:I movies. It's also cool to see Jeremy Renner in this as well. Ever since I saw him in that one Angel episode he did, I've kept an eye on his career. He's done very well. I'm also glad to see J.J. Abrams is behind the camera again. He did an amazing job with M:I 3, even if it took me a little while to get used to the changes. This is going to be a great birthday present for myself.

A Medical Farce...

2011-06-28T17:22:00.000-04:00

In a previous post, I laid out my current medical situation. When last I wrote, I was expecting to go into surgery on Monday to get my gall bladder removed. Well, I was moved down to the OR and then spent 4 hours waiting. I even fell asleep several times while waiting for my turn to go under the knife. After the four hours, my doctor/surgeon comes in and tells me that he's not comfortable with going through with the surgery because it was late in the day, and he didn't want to be rushed during the procedure. So the surgery was rescheduled for today, Tuesday. In the meantime, my privilege of actually INGESTING food, as opposed to having it fed intra-venously into my system, was restored. I was treated to a dinner of 3 servings of Jello (lime, orange, and cherry), some chicken broth, apple juice & some tea. It was DELICIOUS!!

And that brings us up to today. I was told this morning that I would get surgery today around 1:30pm. By 2pm, I started to have doubts if the surgery was going to happen. I got moved down to the OR and several members of the anesthesia team started talking to me. So, I'm like "Okay, this is it." Then my surgeon walks up and tells me that most likely the surgery wasn't going to happen. At least, not today and most definitely NOT in this hospital. And there are solid reasons why.

There are some of you out there reading this that think you are fat. Guess what? You're not fat, but I AM. I weigh 500 pounds (I was weighed the first night I was here.) and I'm shaped like a small moon with arms, legs, and a head. The point of this is that while the surgical table can handle my weight, but it might not be wide enough for me. Normally, the procedure requires a breathing tube to be placed down my throat while I'm knocked out. Given my size, there's a risk that once the tube is removed, I might not be able to start breathing right away, which would lead to my death. My surgeon decided to contact the most badass surgical team with expertise in morbidly obese people: the crack staff of Lahey Clinic.

It turns out that the peeps at Lahey had just encountered a similar situation with one of their patients. Their solution was elegant in its simplicity. Since the patient's weight is what makes the surgery high-risk, have the patient lose weight. So the plan, in its broad strokes, is that I need to lose 50lbs in order to drastically increase the safety factor of the surgery. In order to accomplish this, the Lahey peeps recommended a specialized diet to my surgeon and I'm waiting to hear the details of it.

The thing that pisses me off is that the people here KNEW my weight & size as I came in this past Thursday. Why did it take 5.5 days to figure out that they couldn't do the surgery here?? I've been stabbed with enough needles to make even the most prolific pin cushion crazy with jealousy. I've been attached to an IV with a machine that NEVER STOPPED beeping and gurgling. I haven't slept right for over a week (since before my hospital stay when I was sick). All of this for a surgery that now isn't going to happen for at least a month according to the new plan. If I wasn't so damned tired, I would be royally PISSED!!!

I'm going to be in the hospital for a couple more days, so they can monitor the diet. Then in two weeks, I have an appointment with a Doc at the Lahey clinic. I guess the question now is: how long will it take for me to lose 50lbs?

Weird Al's Latest...

2011-06-26T16:30:00.000-04:00

This is one of the many reasons I hate being sick. Aside from the pain and personal issues, I'm not able to keep up with current events. On June 20th, Weird Al finally released the video to his parody of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" called "Perform This Way". I think Al has completely out done himself this time! Check it out:

Absolutely hilarious!! Although, I would like to see the making of for this video, if for no other reason than to see who was Al's "stand-in" for the video. I can't wait to get this album.

Current Events

2011-06-26T12:44:00.000-04:00

This past Friday, I got sick. It felt like a stomach bug or possibly food poisoning. There was a lot of stomach pains and some throwing up. It lasted through Sat & Sun. By Monday, things were calming down but I still felt like hammered crap. I took Tues off of work and things started looking up. Tues night and Wednesday, I was feeling better.

Then on Thursday, things got worse.. I threw up twice at work. Then I took the rest of the day off and went to an Immediate Care Facility. They did some testing, and I got insanely worse. The pain got worse and worse and the throwing up got more frequent. I was then shipped via ambulance to St. Joseph's hospital, where they gave me some excellent medication (a.k.a. drugs) and took the pain away. You know, they say that the lack of pain can have a narcotic effect, and I'm here to say, that is ABSOLUTELY true.

The downside to staying out of pain: not eating anything. AT ALL. Since Thursday morning, I have not eaten a single thing. I'm on IV fluids. Which is good, given how dehydrated I was after all the throwing up. For those of you out there trying to lose weight, I would NOT recommend this type of diet. Being tethered to a steadily beeping machine that prevents you from sleeping properly and follows you everywhere is NOT a good way to live. And it's especially torturous given how many food commercials there are on tv. Honestly, I've never really noticed how many until this weekend. Although, IHOP's beef & bacon burgers look REALLY GOOD!!!

The other key thing that happened at St. Joseph's is that I found out the cause of my troubles: gall stones. Yep, I got gall stones and they started getting uppity and pissing off my pancreas and liver (which release enzymes to help digestion). Not eating gives my system a chance to clear out the gall stones in my system now. But that's only a temporary fix.

Apparently, to clear this up, I have to have my gall bladder removed since this is the source of the gall stones. So, to be safe, the doc put me up in a nice room at St. J's. I found this out on Thursday night, after which my cell phone died. So I was off the grid for Fri & Sat. I used the room phone to reach out to some family and Sat night, I got my cell charger and some other necessities. So, I'm back online and putting the word out on my current situation. At the moment, I'm waiting to hear on the results of the MRI exam I took in this machine that looked like a combination of a Cryo-Sleep chamber and a Photon Torpedo tube (with radio, no less!) on Sat.

Honestly, I'm nervous about the gall bladder removal on Monday. The part that I find surprising is that I'm not as scared as I think I should be. I think it's because I got through all that ten years ago when I had my appendix removed. Given my weight, there are some concerns with anesthesia, but nothing too alarming. I hope it goes well. I'll let you know how it goes.

Torchwood: Miracle Day....

2011-06-08T16:20:00.000-04:00

It's getting closer!! Soon the "miracle" will be upon us. But is it really a blessing? Or is there something more sinister behind it?? I have found people speaking out about the miracle. Despite serious threats to my self, I have compiled their stories here! See for yourself, and listen to what they have to say:

Capt. Jack Harkness

Gwen Cooper

Oswald Danes

Esther Drummond

Rex Matheson

And Jilly Kitzinger:

You will remember where you were when the miracle arrives...

Lara Croft Reborn...

2011-06-08T09:56:00.000-04:00

I have to admit I never actually played any of the original Tomb Raider games. The concept came across too much like Indiana Jones only with a hot chick packing twin handguns. I watched as the series got worse and worse, and when the movies came out, I figured they were the final nail in the coffin of Lara Croft. It looked like it was over. And I honestly, didn't give it a second thought.

I first heard about this reboot of the Tomb Raider series when Game Informer did a feature article on the series. What made it interesting was that the people behind this reboot, decided to revamp everything from the ground up including Lara herself. The magazine with the feature revealed Lara's new look and I was amazed and encouraged. Gone was the teenage boy's wet dream of big boobs, tight shorts, and pistols, and in her place was a very realistic, beautiful woman facing some serious stakes. From what the article said, this Tomb Raider game was going to be not only the beginning of a new more realistic Lara Croft, but also the beginning of her story. This game is going to play out her first adventure and show the world why her story is so captivating.

The article talked a good game, and it did gain my interest, but I still had my doubts. Today, I got a look at the first trailer for the new Tomb Raider game, and I am encouraged. Check it out:

It really looks interesting, doesn't it? For the first time ever, I'm actually interested in Lara Croft, and don't see her as a female Indiana Jones. For that alone, the producers of the game (Crystal Dynamics & Square Enix) should be lauded! When the game comes out, playing it will be an interesting experience.

Internet Meme-O-Rama Returns!!!

2011-06-07T17:55:00.000-04:00

And here I thought that there couldn't be any more questions to answer on the CyberWeb NetSpace. But here's another one, courtesy of that ingenious time waster: Facebook!! Feel free to copy and paste on your pages, blogs, journals, etc... Just remember to come up with YOUR OWN ANSWERS!!!

01. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Coke

02. Where was your profile picture taken?
Cedar Crest in Lawrence, MA

03. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Yes. We won't discuss my skill level

04. Name someone who made you laugh today?
Joanie at work.

05. How late did you stay up last night and why?
11pm, I was watching TV!! Do you know who River Song is?

06. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Yes, I would.

07. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Nope.

08. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
I don't really know. I think Jenn lives closest.

09. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Yes, I'm friends with all of my exes. It might take awhile, but it happens.

10. How do you feel about moutain dew?
It makes my feet damp in the morning. It's why I don't like going camping.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
A few days ago. I was watching a comedy special and I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming out my eyes...

12. Who took your profile picture?
My youngest sister

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
I don't actually remember.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
Not really...

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes, it's called reading! And there's something about it being fun & mental... or something..

16. Are you upset about anything?
Not at the moment, but give it time..

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it??
Always...

18. Are you a bad influence? Me? Really?
Nah.. I don't influence anyone, people make their own decisions.. Honestly!

19. Night out or night in?
Depends on the activity..

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
I can go without pretty much everything.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My Mom a long time ago...

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
It's my little sister asking for help with Zelda.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
As my other sister says.... Meh..

24. Do you hate anyone right now?
I hate the Lannisters! Those sodding, bastard screwing asswipes!!!

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
A bunch of messages.. Seriously, who's coming up with these questions??

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Of course, I'm strange enough as is, I don't need drugs.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, a perfect pain in the ass!!!

28. What song is stuck in your head?
Bailamos by Enrique Iglesias..

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
A beautiful woman wanting to have wild sex with me! Of course, I sleep like a corpse so she'd have to be knocking for a LONG, LONG time.

30.Wanna have grand kids by the time you're 50?
Nah... 50 is the new 30!

31. What do you have to do tomorrow?
Work, laundry... work...

32. Do you think too much or too little?
There is NO SUCH THING as thinking too little!! How dare you suggest such a thing!!

New Info on Batman Arkham City...

2011-06-07T11:43:00.000-04:00

See, this is why I love E3. So much awesome information comes out in such a short period of time. And I've been really looking forward to what is coming up next for all my interests!!! And so far, I haven't been disappointed at all!!

For all my fellow Bat fans, we get a new look at the gameplay for Batman: Arkham City. This includes some in game cinematic footage of the man (or men?) himself (themselves?): Two-Face!! They show off a little more of what you can do as Batman, including interrogating a Riddler informant!! And they start it off with a surprise reveal!!! Check it out:

Tags: GameTrailers.com, E3 2011: Catwoman Trailer, PC Games, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360

Talk about awesome, right? I can't wait till this game comes out!! It is SO going to rock! And with 25+ hours of gameplay, it's going to allow for a longer trip into the world of Batman!

Playstation brings new life with the PS Vita!

2011-06-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

Well, it's official! Sony's Next-Gen portable gaming system has just been announced!! It's called the PS Vita (the latin term for life!)

Looks sleek and sexy! Here's the quick specs:

-- Dual analog sticks
-- Front & Rear mounted cameras
-- 5 inch OLED touchscreen
-- Multi-Touch Pad (on the back)
-- Sixaxis motion sensor
-- Wi-Fi capable
-- 3G enabled (through AT&T)

The wi-fi only version retails for $249. If you want 3G, the price goes up to $299. Check out this demo video:

Wanna trade in your PSP for this one, don't cha?? Hmm?? Admit it, you know you want one!! Me? I'm going to wait and see how this baby handles before I start drooling for it. Sony has a bit of a bad track record with their V1 machines. But it's still exciting to see!

An Old Favorite Returns....

2011-05-31T13:54:00.000-04:00

Because of some weird mental issue that I have, I grew up watching all kinds of movies that I shouldn't have had access to as a little kid. One of my favorites is a quirky little vampire flick called Fright Night. It was a great, cheesy vamp film that pulled together the archetypes of the vampire mythology: the young male hero, the crackpot vampire hunter, etc, and wove them into a simple story that has become an unsung classic in my eyes.

Guess what? Fright Night is going to be remade!! No, I'm serious!!! Here, check out the trailer:

It looks pretty cool. Especially, Colin Farrell as the vampire. I've always loved seeing him as the bad guy in movies. It's also cool to see Anton Yelchin again. This guy is going to be a very diverse actor. I can't wait until this one comes out!

Thoughts On... Fandom

2011-05-31T10:04:00.000-04:00

I look around and I see, read, and hear everyone around me talking about how they are fans of this thing or that show. But, very few people stop to think about what exactly they are saying when they use the word "fan". Because very few people ever really think about the origin of the word "fan" and the meaning. "Fan" isn't really a word, it's an abbreviation. Of what you may ask? It's an abbreviation of the word: Fanatic.

Think about that for a moment. The word we casually throw around to say we have an interest in something originates from a word that is very closely associated with insanity. What’s amazing is how accurate the term is in the way we apply it to ourselves. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen (either in person or on television) people lose themselves in their interests completely. I mean to the point of completely disregarding family, friends, even work.

Now, I am a passionate person, and anyone who knows me can tell you, dear readers, how my interests can consume me at times. While it may not seem like it outwardly, there are always limits to how far my passions take me. Because I know there is a line between my life and my interests. I don’t dream about living in the world of my favorite shows, or dress up as my favorite characters. With the shows I watch, that would be tantamount to suicide! I don’t hunt down every single piece of information about the celebrities (actors, musicians, etc) I like. You won’t see me decorating my house like the lair of some video game or movie villain.

Why? That’s simple: I don’t care.

I don’t care who is sleeping with whom on the set. I don’t care that some musician said something to some reporter about some actor they ran into. Or that this person was caught kissing that person in this place which is “oh so scandalous” because they are in a relationship with someone else. That is just fluff & nonsense to me. It’s crap.

What do I care about? The future projects my favorite celebrities are going to be working on. Their thoughts and opinions on the subject matter they’ve chosen to work on. The reasons they decided to work on a given project, or why they left. And, of course, the ACTUAL SUBJECT MATTER they’re working on. Most of the things I’m interested in usually gain my interest because of a key philosophical point in the subject matter. Others gain my interest because they are sufficiently complex to distract me from the problems in my life for a little while.

I have had discussions for hours on end about tv shows or books that I’ve read. And while from the outside, it might seem on the same level as the people I’m critiquing at the moment, it isn’t. Because these discussions serve a purpose, they flesh out my beliefs in my head. They allow me to challenge my worldview in situations that I would NEVER encounter in my life. When will I be battling ghosts, demons or angels? When would I need to interrogate a terrorist? When would I need to get into the mind of serial killer? I wouldn’t. But getting a glimpse of that life, even a fictionalized version of it, helps me expand my knowledge of myself. It helps me figure out what I really believe, and why I believe it.

In the end, I am not a fan… I am an enthusiast or aficionado if you like. A buff or geek, even. But a fan? Not on your life.

A Love Song Playlist...

2011-05-31T10:00:00.000-04:00

It has come to my attention that I come across as someone who has a somewhat harsh view of love. Some say it’s so harsh a view that it’s conceivable that I don’t really believe in love. Now, I am the first to admit that I’m a caustic, sarcastic, cynical kind of guy. But not to believe in love?? I hardly think I’m THAT far gone! I’m just a bit more… critical of love than most. In fact, I’ll prove it. Here is a list of love songs from my own personal collection of music. And before you ask, yes I will swear to the fact.

*places hand on holy object of reader’s choice*

I swear by all that you deem holy that at the time of this posting, I actually own copies of each and every one of the following songs.

*removes hand from holy object, inspects hand for burns*

01. 01 – Take That – Rule The World (Full Version)

02. 02 – NeYo – Closer

03. 03 – Joy Enriquez – Uh Oh

04. 04 – Debelah Morgan – I Remember (Rodney Jerkins Extended Remix)

05. 05 – Savage Garden – Chained To You

06. 06 – Jessica Simpson – Irresistible

07. 07 – Bosson – One In A Million

08. 08 – Leann Rimes – The Right Kind Of Wrong

09. 09 – Joss Stone, Les Paul, & Sting – Love Sneakin’ Up On You

10. 10 – Santana (Ft. Alex Band) – Why Don’t You & I

11. 11 – Soluna – Bring It To Me

12. 12 – Lionel Richie – Angel (Metro Mix)

13. 13 – Gloria Estefan – Everlasting Love

14. 14 – Liberty X (Vs Richard X) – Being Nobody

15. 15 – Michael Jackson – The Way You Make Me Feel

16. 16 – Usher (Ft Will.I.Am) – OMG (Album Version)

17. 17 – Santana (Ft. Michelle Branch) – The Game Of Love

18. 18 – Marc Anthony – I’ve Got You

19. 19 – Angel City – Love Me Right

20. 20 – Al Green – Love & Happiness

Okay? Are you happy now? Satisfied? Good!

Drink Up Me 'Earties, Yo HO!!

2011-05-31T09:51:00.002-04:00

When I heard the rumors that they were going to make Pirates of the Caribbean 4, I was going to roll up my eyes, and vent some of my frustrations with highly caustic and sarcastic remarks. Then I found out who was cast in the film. More importantly, I found out who WASN’T cast. Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightly weren’t listed. A glimmer of hope lit up the dark recesses of my mind. Could it be the producers of Pirates of the Caribbean series finally realized who the real lynch pin of the series was? And that this time they were going to actually focus on Jack? No way! Then I saw the trailer, and my hopes were proven true! This time it looked GOOD!! So, I gladly went to see the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film: On Stranger Tides. When I walked out of theaters after the end of the film, I felt fully vindicated. This was the movie that should have followed Curse of The Black Pearl.

On Stranger Tides picks up a little bit after At World’s End with some familiar faces. Obviously there’s Jack who has been trying to get to the Fountain of Youth with no success. Also returning is Hector Barbossa, only he seems to no longer be a pirate, but is now gainfully employed as a captain of the royal navy! Rumors start spreading in London that Jack Sparrow is looking to hire a crew to go find the Fountain of Youth. This is of great interest to a lot of people, including Jack himself, who had no idea this was going on. After being informed of this by Mr Gibbs (the last returning Pirates vet), Jack decides to look into what’s going on in his name… and events unfold from there.

Let’s get back to the cast, specifically the two new members of the team. And what great choices they were!! First we have Ian McShane as Blackbeard. Now, as the new bad ass pirate in the series, McShane had his work cut out for him, having to live up to both Barbossa AND Davy Jones (who was a good villain, just in a really bad set of movies). But McShane came through with FLYING colors! There hasn’t been a creepier pirate on film yet.

In his portrayal of Blackbeard, McShane brought an entirely different kind of menace to the Pirates series. Instead of going with the standard loud and obnoxious route for evil pirates, McShane infused Blackbeard with a type of cold, calm brutality that has all the more powerful an impact because of the detached, almost serene manner in which he carries out his actions. There isn’t any yelling or overt aggression. Blackbeard threatens and kills in the same way he would order lunch. And while he enjoys his lunch, his aloofness gives him the air of a man on a mission. No matter what happens, Blackbeard is going to get what he wants done. Period. And this style of behavior plays very well not only against Sparrow’s drunken chaos but also against Barbossa’s fiery intensity. The interactions between the three of them were really cool to watch.

The second addition is Penelope Cruz as Angelica, Blackbeard’s daughter. Casting Ms. Cruz was brilliant because she has the capacity to keep up with the level of energy which Depp gives to Jack Sparrow. From the moment she comes on screen, she plays Angelica in perfect complement to Jack. It’s like watching a perfectly choreographed dance. I’ve always said that watching two masters at work is always interesting. Watching Cruz & Depp bait and counter each other proves my point.

As for the direction & writing, they did exactly what they needed to in order to make the film work. They brought the story back to basics, getting rid of any unnecessary complications, while also pushing deeper into the madness behind the character’s methods, especially with Capt. Jack Sparrow. You can literally see hints of the planning Jack does in certain scenes, but you never get enough to fully predict what is going to happen next. They also got rid of the excessive comedy in this film. There are funny moments, but that’s all they are: moments; not entire segments of the film. And the director, Rob Marshall, really ordered the movie well. There wasn’t a single point in the film where the story dragged. There was always something of interest going on, but never so much that you’d get lost or overwhelmed. Marshall’s control of the movie was masterful.

In the end, all I can really say is if you liked the first Pirates movie, you’ll really enjoy On Stranger Tides. It’s Pirates of the Caribbean back to form. Moreover, it was a good time and I highly recommend it.

The Return of Torchwood...

2011-05-24T17:22:00.001-04:00

Despite being one of the best prime time sci-fi programs to come out in the last decade, Torchwood has had a lot of difficulty coming back. The last real season it had was season 2. There was a 5 episode mini-series that is now regarded as the third season called "Children of Earth". Then came news that there was going to be a US version of Torchwood. This brought up a lot of angst as the UK fans (and some of the US fans as well) figured that the US version would just screw it all up. But that effort stalled, the fans cheered and waited for some more Torchwood. And got nothing....

Then the US version became Season 4 of Torchwood, with a whole new cast of characters to back up Gwen Cooper and Capt. Jack Harkness. And now two years later, Torchwood is BACK with the original creators working with Starz to bring us the further adventures of Torchwood!! And not only that but after nothing but radio silence from the creative crew, we have our first trailer! Check it out!

This is looking like it's going to be one HELL of a ride! I mean honestly, how many times has a man being impaled been the TEASER to the show?? Right?? I can't wait to see this. Oh, and my fellow Dollhouse fans, keep a sharp eye out for Dichen Lachman (a.k.a. Sierra), looks like she's keeping the whole bad ass bit going! I'm going to LOVE THIS!!!

Life Is Hard In The City Of Angels...

2011-05-18T10:47:00.000-04:00

As you all know, my dear readers, I am an avid movie fan. One of my favorite genres of movies is "film noir". While the specific characteristics of the genre tend to be difficult to pin down, you know when you're watching film noir. There's just something about the mood the film puts you in, the way film is shot, the manner of the actor's speech that blends in just the right way to pull you in to the seedy underbelly of a seemingly innocent or glamorous area. Film noir is an awesome genre; stylish, yet simple, compassionate, yet brutal. And it's one of the few genres that I would love to just dive into. The interesting thing is, I was given just that opportunity yesterday when, in a moment of rare solvency, I was able to purchase what is surely to be a landmark video game, L.A. Noire.

Now, I'm not one to go with fads, sticking with what's currently popular is a great way to get and stay bankrupt. But in reading up on the game, and what they were trying to do, I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to play. I saw a few of the game trailers, and I could feel the edges of that Noir vibe. So, I ordered the game and waited patiently for it to arrive. I got it yesterday, and started playing almost immediately after I got out of work.

Just the start up screens alone were awesome. The menu screen in the shadow of harsh white lights with the buzz and flicker of fluorescent bulbs immediately dropped me into that Noir state of mind. Then as the game starts, that world just solidified around me. The soft, cool jazz. The rough voice of the narrator. The presentation and style of the visuals. It all came together and immersed me directly in my own Noir world. I played the first few cases and like few games before it, time just evaporated. What felt like 20-30 minutes, turned out to be 2-3 hours. It was truly amazing!

Admittedly, I haven't completed the game yet, but I still recommend it to anyone who is into story-based gaming, and is a fan of the film noir style. If this game is a hit, and they make a sequel, I hope they try their hand at a new city. Chicago, perhaps.. or, dare I say it... New York City! In the meantime, pick up the game. You'll love it!

DAMN YOU FOX!!!!!!

2011-05-11T11:05:00.000-04:00

FOX is dressed in all black, with an Executioner's Hood over it's head. And with a swift, sure motion, it has let the axe fall and killed five shows. In the wake of renewing House M.D. for an eighth season and green lighting any number of new pilots (including a Bones spin-off called "The Finder"), the television network dropped the bad news for the following shows:

The Chicago Code
Breaking In
Human Target
Lie To Me
Traffic Light

This is all per the following article from The Voice of TV.Com. I was very surprised to hear that Breaking In was on the list considering the show JUST STARTED airing barely a month ago! I can understand Human Target, since the show really didn't find a solid audience despite completing two seasons. But the biggest heart-breaker in this list for me is the cancellation of Lie To Me.

LTM was one of the few shows that grabbed my interest right from the first few minutes of the show. Which was surprising because I was watching the show expecting it to suck so badly that I wouldn't make it through the first ep. Having a big name actor like Tim Roth as the lead usually usurps the budget of pilot ep so they can't afford stuff like writers and the like. And yet, the show shined! Lie To Me was a very interesting show and an exceedingly dynamic and engaging cast. And as a bonus, I learned a lot with every single episode!

Alas, never again will I marvel at Cal Lightman's insane antics or calmly ogle Foster's elegant hotness, or learn about the intricacies of human expression and emotion as displayed on the human face. I will miss it a great deal. It is such a shame that Lie To Me will never see another "Brand New Day"...

Death Hunts Again...

2011-05-10T16:22:00.000-04:00

While we're on the subject of movie trailers, I just found another that looks really interesting. This is for Final Destination 5. Now I know, the movies have taken a slight downturn in the last two films, but the tone of this trailer is very reminiscent of the first film. Check it out:

Can you see what I mean? The deaths look elaborate, but it looks like they've gone back to the whole "Death takes you using your own actions" vibe that made the first two films just so deliciously diabolical to watch!!

There's also a hint of a potential rule change. That line about "kill or be killed" leads to some interesting thoughts. Up until now, everyone's been focused on saving everyone, what if you decide to save yourself by helping Death out and killing the others on "Death's List"? Would you be saved by becoming an Agent of Death??

And did you see Tony Todd? Now he's a coroner with the ME's office!!! How awesome is that?? I'm hoping it means he's going to have a much bigger role in this upcoming film, and not just the role of Death's creepiest messenger.

A New Look At... The Barbarian...

2011-05-05T16:11:00.000-04:00

Today saw release of the new trailer for the re-make of Conan: The Barbarian. After watching it, I find myself much more interested in the film. It comes across much as I would imagine Conan's world to be. Brutal, relentless, and bringing about a necessary violence in its inhabitants. Check it out for yourself:

The really cool part is this article where the director gives a bit of info on the mindset and tone of the film and a key piece of information. They are going for an R rating. This is fucking awesome!!

Most studios believe that in order to make serious money, any movie they make has to be, at most, rated PG-13. They figure that this allows for the widest audience to come view the movie. The problem is that the material covered in some films is undermined because of the limitations on what can be shown in a PG-13 film. Movies like Conan should have a R rating in order to fully and properly explore the depths of the material. I really wish there were more rated R films out there. It would make the catalog of films much more interesting.

Thoughts?

Thoughts On... The Death of Bin Laden

2011-05-03T13:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, it's been one day since it was publicly announced that the leader of Al Qaeda, Osama Bin Laden, was killed. I've had time to fully flesh out my thinking on the subject. And overall, I have to say, I'm glad it happened. In the end, I'm glad that this terrorist is dead. Now, I'm not going to be running rampant through the streets with signs reading "Rot In Hell", but I am pleased with this outcome.

This world is a savage place. And I'm not just talking about human actions. I'm talking about the entire planet. Animals viciously attacking each other, giant sinkholes appearing out of nowhere, massive earthquakes, and incredibly powerful tornadoes are just some of the things this world throws at its inhabitants. To live on this planet, we have to have some kind of savagery. If not, we'd go extinct. That is a fact of human existence.

And that is the part of me, that rejoiced in the execution of Osama Bin Laden. The savage part of me that immediately wants to hit back anyone who hits me. The primal part of me that sees an attractive female and wants to just take her. Psychologists call this part of the human mind the Id. It is there, in the Id, that all our dark, masochistic, self-serving impulses come from. Human civilization is made possible because we also developed the Ego and the Super-Ego, parts of the mind that are capable of seeing the benefits of not giving in to every impulse and working together with other humans for our mutual benefit. That's the part that feels shame over the rejoicing of another human being's murder.

But, I'm honest enough with myself to admit that I don't really feel shame about this. After all, I'm a big proponent of free will. And if you're free to decide your fate, you should be prepared to face the consequences of your decisions. Bin Laden reaped what he had sown. The man was a terrorist and caused too much death and destruction to just let that slide. And there was no sign of any kind of remorse or that he was going to stop. If he had walked up to a military base and surrendered that would be different. But, the U.S. military (Much Props to SEAL Team Six!!!) had to hunt the man down. He got what was coming to him.

And for those who are griping about how long it took to get to him, wake up people. These things take time. Not everything in the world is set up for instant gratification!

The trick is what happens now. Is this the end of terrorism (U.S. directed or otherwise)? Not a chance. Will life become nothing but puffy rainbow colored clouds and candy? HELL NO! We have a long line of other problems to deal with, and other threats to our nation that have to be dealt with. What I do know is this: One threat is down. I'm imagining a sign above the military "3 Billion Threats Neutralized" and counting.... NEXT!!

An Awesome Cover...

2011-05-03T10:25:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I gave in to peer pressure. After months of being begged, cajoled, threatened, bribed, and finally just brutally pelted with information & media of regarding the new HBO series, Game of Thrones, I finally caved and watched the show. I'm glad I did. The show turned out to be absolutely awesome. From production values to casting, it was simply amazing. I gave a detailed review in an earlier blog posting. While I'm not the only one who loved the opening episode of the show,(HBO renewed the series for a 2nd season based JUST on the ratings for the 1st ep!), I was surprised to see how much attention the opening credit sequence was getting. And that's just the CREDITS people!! The one critique I heard was from my friend, David, who didn't think it was worth all the hype, and more to point of this post, didn't really think the Game of Thrones theme was all that great, either. In case you haven't heard it, here is the opening sequence of the show. Pay very close attention to the music, okay?

Now, that is a great theme, isn't it? It fits the show in so many ways, it's epic but restrained. Powerful, yet focused. This morning, I found a video of a guy at White Noise Lab, who did a rock version of the theme. Check it out:

This is actually a fantastic version of the show's theme. It adds a level of energy to it that make the theme much more powerful. It reminds me of the score of the movie LadyHawke. Thoughts??