Thoughts On... Further Training

At the end of my training, and assuming I pass the exams, I will have two of the Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS) certifications. Namely:

70-515 - MCTS: .NET 4 Web Application Development
70-516 - MCTS: .NET 4 Data Access

This will put me at 50% completion for the next level up in certification, the Microsoft Certified Professional Developer (MCPD, no cop jokes, please!). Specifically the web programming cert, MCPD: Web Developer 4. The Web Developer 4 certification requires the following MCTS training to be completed:

70-513 - MCTS: .NET 4, Windows Communication Foundation (WCF) Development
70-515 - MCTS: .NET 4, Web Application Development
70-516 - MCTS: .NET 4, Data Access
70-519 - PRO:    .NET 4, Designing & Developing Web Apps using .NET 4

Now, there are TONS of .NET web developers out there. And it's entirely possible that I will be able to get a position as a Web Developer with no issue. But the success of any job search is in making yourself stand out from the pack as much as possible, which makes the other option a bit more attractive. The other option being, Windows Developer 4, which requires the following MCTS training to be completed:

70-511 - MCTS: .NET 4, Windows Application Development
70-513 - MCTS: .NET 4, Windows Communication Foundation (WCF) Development
70-516 - MCTS: .NET 4, Data Access
70-518 - PRO:    .NET 4, Designing & Developing Windows Apps using .NET 4

Logically, the next course I have to take is the 70-513 WCF Development. Assuming I can get the money to pay for the course. My state funding ends with the training I have now. Either way, I'm going to have to make due with what I'll have by the end of my training. But the question I have is what direction I should go in to get the MCPD certification? Either way I want to get the MCPD, but which one?

Thoughts on... Romantic Insanity

A couple of years ago, a friend and I were talking about the side effects of love. You know, the crazy shit that you are suddenly capable of doing because you are attracted to someone. She told me this story of braving a major snowstorm to be with the one she loved. It was a harrowing journey, but she said being with her loved one made all the problems, fear, and nearly dying on the icy, snowy roads completely worth it. Listening to the story, at the time, was horrifying. I mean how in the hell would anyone with a sense of self-preservation even CONSIDER a trip that could potentially KILL them just to be in the presence of someone? Even if it's someone you care about! No matter what she told me, it just didn't seem real to me. It was just pure insanity! And then there was watching her tell the story. The far away look in her eyes as she told me about all the near misses she had with other cars and how she almost drove off the road into a ditch. I was in total shock. I simply was incapable of understanding why she would do that! That is until this past weekend. 

This past weekend, I came a little closer to understanding where she was coming from. See, recently, I found myself attracted to someone. And this past weekend, I had a possible opportunity to spend some time with her. There was just one problem. The place we were supposed to meet was a half hour drive from me and I didn't have enough gas in the car to make it there and back AND be able to drive to my classes the next week. For a moment, I bowed down to reality and decided not to go. I even went so far as to tell her that it wasn't going to happen. Then, something clicked in my head and I had this intense desire to just drive to see her. My head kept saying, "Just GO!!" After several hours of trying to be reasonable, I just did it. I let her know that I was going anyway and just drove down there. It was completely insane. I could have been stranded far away from home, and missed my job training. The safe play was to just stay home and re-schedule for another night. But, I was COMPELLED to go and see her.

And for the few minutes we were together, it was actually really fun! She looked amazing! And being in her presence was simply.... intoxicating. It wasn't for as long as I'd hoped because something came up and she had to leave, but it was awesome for as long as it was. And completely worth the risk of being stranded and/or missing my classes and being kicked out of the training.

Only now, at the end,  do I finally understand what my friend had been saying all those years ago. But I still think that driving into a NEW ENGLAND snow storm was completely insane, and even now I still wouldn't do it. But I can follow the motivation that drove her to taking that trip.

What about you, my dear readers, what have craziness have you done for the one to whom you are attracted?

Top 10... Sci-Fi "Yo Mama" Jokes

For those of my dear readers who are too young to remember, back in the day, we had a quirky phenomenon in comedy for those of lower income. We couldn't afford the stuff that the "rich kids" had, and we often lamented our sorrows to each other. Inevitably, somewhere this started a competition over who was worse off. Then during this battle, someone's mom called them in for dinner or something. And th kids were having such a good time, they started grumbling about the kid's mom who called him away. The kid hearing this of course wanting to defend his mom started firing back with his own insults. Then it became a battle of who can come up with the most insulting comment. Something SO BAD, it would just shut the other kid up. Battles would go on for hours!! And the one rule, you could NOT repeat a joke! This is what started the whole bunch of jokes along the lines of:

Yo' Mama is so STUPID, she jumped out a window and went UP!!

To which people responded with "oooooh" and then the person you were battling came up with their own retort.

Yo' Mama is so FAT, she irons her clothes in the DRIVEWAY!!

Today, I found a video of Sci-Fi based Yo Mama jokes!!! To view the video you can click here. The audio is kind of shabby so I wrote out the list below. Check 'em out!!

10) Yo Mama is SO fat, the Enterprise's 5 year mission was to get around her!

09) Yo Mama got so many reverse polarity muon fluxes, she needs a re-calibrated reverberating
hydrospanner just to avoid the particle acceleration side effects!!

08) Yo Mama is so dumb, she thinks S-Y-F-Y is the right way to spell Sci-Fi!

07) Yo Mama is so ugly, SkyNet sent a Terminator back in time to smack her PARENTS!

06) Yo Mama is so fat, they had to beam her down is separate pieces!

05) Yo Mama is so dumb, she likes Star Trek Nemesis!

04) Yo Mama is so old, Cthulu signed her yearbook!

03) Yo Mama is so fat, I ate the SPICE and I STILL can't see the end of her butt!

02) Yo Mama is so fat, Jabba said, "DAMN!!"

01) Yo Mama is so fat, it takes TWO rings to bind her!

My personal favorite is #7. I've also been working on a few of my own:
**) Yo Mama is so ugly, after busting out a guy's chest & seeing her, the baby Alien went BACK IN!
**) Yo Mama is so nasty, they named her fart the Death Star!
**) Yo Mama is so dumb, when she heard "Tardis" she got feathers to go with it!!
**) Yo Mama is so ugly, not even Captain KIRK would hit that!!
**) Yo Mama is so old, she makes the Emperor look like a teenager!
**) Yo Mama is so dumb, when she heard "lightsaber" she thought it had less calories!!

What about YOU, my dear readers? Give me some of your best Sci-Fi Yo Mama jokes!!

Prometheus Has Landed... A Movie Review

When I first heard about Prometheus, I remember the director, Ridley Scott, vehemently stating that the movie was NOT a prequel of Alien series. He kept the story going for awhile, but then finally relented and admitted that it was a prequel. But, after watching the movie, I can understand his point of view. A prequel, in the most basic sense of the word, is just a story that hits the necessary bullet points to allow the starting situations of a previously published story. The best prequels are usually very engaging, but they still only bring about what's necessary. In that sense, Prometheus is not a prequel. The events in the movie do allow for the the rest of the films in the series to come into fruition, but they also build an entirely NEW storyline. The way the movie plays out, it is entirely possible to create Prometheus 2, have it connected strongly with Prometheus and have NOTHING ELSE to do with the Alien film franchise AT ALL.

And I know that's what Ridley Scott was going for because of the reactions I've read online to Prometheus. People walked in with a specific expectation of what was going to happen, and were given something else entirely. Without ruining the film, I can't go into specific issues, but in general the consensus on the complaints people have is that the movie leaves too many questions unanswered. And that is essentially the point. Ridley Scott created a brand new film that is strongly tied to the Alien franchise, but can AND DOES stand on its own. This is why there are so many unanswered questions. Prometheus is the start of Alien AND SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY that just happens to take place in the same conceptual universe.

Speaking of concepts, let's talk about the story of Prometheus. No, I'm not going to ruin it for you. But the broad strokes of the plot are simple to map out. After some bizarre discoveries on earth, a scientific research mission is dispatched to explore a planetary system that could be the home of the creators of humanity. And, of course, when they get there, bad things start happening. The interesting part of the story for me, is the return to the core concepts of Alien. Things like the issues with overly optimistic science, the problems with scientific research without morality, and the dangers of operating with no caution or respect for safety in an entirely foreign environment. Although, I really enjoyed the evolutionary themes presented in the film and the many touches upon the religious aspects of the events of the film. 

To bring this story to life, Ridley Scott assembled a masterful cast. The whole cast was top notch, but my personal favorite had to be Michael Fassbender as the artificial life form (aka android), David. Fassbender's most powerful gift in his acting is the subtle changes he can make in his face and posture which adds whole volumes to his performance. Little flickers of disappointment and disillusionment, minor points of fascination and wonder, turned what would have been a stoic, cold performance to something much more compelling to watch. (I also LOVED the viral videos!!)Knowing the Alien universe, I knew walking in certain things were going to happen regarding David, so the disturbing nature of his performance was to be expected. But having that knowledge just made me enjoy Fassbender's portrayal all that much more!

The real surprise for me, in terms of casting, was Noomi Rapace, who plays Dr. Elizabeth Shaw. I was unfamiliar with her before this film. I had heard that she was the original Lisbeth Salander in the original Swedish "Girl With Dragon Tattoo" series. (But I'm not Swedish, so I didn't see them.) She did have a part in the Sherlock Holmes sequel, A Game of Shadows, but she wasn't really showcased in that film, so I really had no idea of what she could do. After watching her in Prometheus, I can safely say that she is a truly amazing actress. In my opinion, she had the hardest role to portray in the film as her character had to journey from the traditional idealistic scientist to hardened survivalist scientist. Portraying someone who's world falls apart JUST as she seemingly is getting everything she wants is a very complex task and Noomi Rapace handles it effortlessly. It was truly epic to watch.

Rounding out the cast were Charlize Theron, who brought what's becoming her trademark intensity to her role as Meredith Vickers, corporate head honcho of the mission; and the always amazing Idris Elba who plays the captain of the Prometheus, Janek. While his part was a small one in the film, he did bring the "every day working stiff" mentality to the film which served to ground the story by showing that effect the search for truth has on the everyday workers.

In end, the thing that I enjoyed most was that Prometheus wasn't a horror film. Like his original foray in this universe, Ridley Scott made Prometheus a suspense thriller, and then added a mystery movie booster. Prometheus is a movie that truly plays with the expectations you walk in with, and holds you at the edge of your seat while making you think that you're going to get what you want, and instead offers you an entirely new product to enjoy.

If you're looking for an intense ride, even if you have NEVER seen any of the Alien films, I would definitely recommend Prometheus. It is an Oscar Calibur film!

Top 5... Favorite Disney Songs

If you've been reading my last few blog posts, you know that I'm not in the greatest of moods, nor have I been for several months. Despite what my friends probably believe, I don't enjoy being depressed or living in frustration. As such, I keep trying to boost my morale with conversation, movies, TV, and music. A couple days ago, I decided to put together a top 5 list that I haven't done before. In fact, up until now, I hadn't even considered this list! You have no idea how much fun I had researching this list! I feel so much better right now it's amazing! Anyway, now I give you my top 5 favorite Disney songs.

Here are the criteria: First, it has to be from a straight up Disney movie with the castle graphic and everything. Second, it has to be a song that I genuinely like, meaning that I could listen to the song without the movie and still enjoy it. Also, that I could listen to the song at any time, anywhere and still enjoy it. Given my current mindset, these songs MORE than qualify for this list! So here we go:

5) Mary Poppins - Chim Chim Cheree
Most people like a certain other song from this movie which is really fast and very difficult to spell. But personally, this is the song that really got to me. This song was cheerful, mesmerizing, wondrous and atmospheric. It was simply awesome.

4) Tarzan - Strangers Like Me
I love education & learning.And one of the themes that I enjoyed the most about Tarzan was the exchange of information between Jane & Tarzan. As he learned about the human world, he taught about the jungle. But the fire of curiosity that was lit in his mind was perfectly characterized by this song. I can hear it over & over again and NEVER tire of it.

3) The Lion King - Be Prepared
I've always been a fan of villains. And Scar was one of the greatest that Disney ever created. The pure callousness and evil that he spewed was nothing less than OUTSTANDING. This song was absolutely perfect as a showcase for that evil. I'll never get tired of hearing it!!

2) The Little Mermaid - Poor Unfortunate Souls
Another villain song. Ursula earned my respect as one of the most manipulative Disney villains ever. And the way she uses Ariel's love against her was truly spectacular to behold. All the subtle prodding (well, subtle for Disney, at any rate) in this song was simply DELICIOUS to watch.

And my NUMBER ONE favorite Disney song is.....


1) Aladdin - Friend Like Me
Aladdin is my favorite Disney animated movie. It was nothing short of entertaining, but my absolute favorite part of the movie is the Genie. His introduction and first song just simply blew me away! I can honestly say that I LOVE this song! And I will till my dying day! Here's that first intro scene with song and everything for your enjoyment: 



   
Wasn't that awesome?? Go ahead, play it again, I'll wait!

Okay, now I do have some honorable mentions that didn't quite make the list. Songs like Under The Sea, Be Our Guest, Arabian Nights, Kiss The Girl, and Prince Ali. All fantastic songs, but the five listed above are just the best. What about you, my dear readers, what are YOUR favorite Disney songs??

Tough Week... Aftershocks

You know what's worse than an earthquake? The aftershocks. It's like a killer combo from a heavyweight boxer. The first full force punch cracks your defenses, but it's the follow up punches that put you down. Today, I got an aftershock of my last week. The job offer I was hoping to get... I didn't get. I was called out of the blue and told that the offer was 90% in the bag, they had some paperwork to finish, but I was pretty much in. I had to wait a week for a final answer. The time came and they asked for another week. (Again, I should've taken it as a sign.) Then, the answer came down... No. You might wonder Why? Well, they had problems with my history. Despite me explaining it to them several times, in person & over the phone, they still said no.

Frankly, I'm not able to keep going as I am on my Unemployment check. Company X's rejection now necessitates some drastic measures on my part. At this point, something has to give, and that something is me. Among all the things I've lost, I'm now losing another: my home. I can't afford to maintain my bills, my cell phone, my car, AND my apartment. Since I need the car and the cell, the rest HAS to go.

Don't worry about me, my dear readers. It turns out that I have an unexpected ace to play here. Those of you who know me, know that I'm a decent person; a nice guy, as it were. You also know that I've lamented over that fact ever since I realized that girls always want the BAD guy and not me. Being the nice guy has gotten me abused and taken advantage of for most of my life. (Several of my friends can attest to that fact.) I've tried to turn myself around, but my basic history, training, and experience has proven... difficult to overcome. However, in this instance, being a nice guy gained me the ace I mentioned earlier. A long time ago, I gave shelter (and a home) to a friend who needed one in a hurry. Now, they offered me the same. I would use this as proof that being a nice guy has benefits, but I don't believe it myself.

Any way you look at it, moving is the smart play. There is only a small cost for the move, and the benefits are vast. I'd save somewhere around $400 a month, just in rent. I also will save money by not being tethered to maintaining utility bills, aside from my cell phone. I also save by not having to purchase groceries on my own. My friends save on rent because I'd be covering a portion of it, so they get more money, too. Win-Win!

Socially, I get to hang with my friends every day. Including some new ones that live in the area. To be honest, they're all ecstatic about having me live with them, but I can't share the sentiment. Intellectually, I understand the angles I see. But, I'm losing my home. The little piece of real estate that is mine. The place I use to rest from the demands from the rest of the world and keep my head as straight as I can get it. I'm also losing another thing: my autonomy. A quality that I cherish, and that I had only regained a couple of years ago. Having to choose to relinquish it just adds to my already present depression due to my lack of work and the resultant train of relentless personal life crises I've dealt with ever since.

And then to make it worse, I know that my lack of enthusiasm hurts my friends feelings, because it makes it seem that I don't want to move in with them because I don't like them. They understand my dilemma, but it's still hurtful to witness. And it's painful to be the cause. I hope my fortunes turn for the better soon.

I'm not sure what little sanity I possess will last for much longer.

Thoughts On... Computer Training

I wrote a post on my selection of a training program awhile back. So far, it's been going well. I'm currently at the tail end of my third class, Intro to Web Development with Visual Studio 2010. I have to admit I was a bit nervous about getting into training. It's been a long while since I was in school and it seemed like completely alien stuff that I had to learn. The "being in school" part was not a problem. I've always loved school and being back in training was like riding a bike. 

What surprised me was how much of my "old" software development training STILL applied. I can see how these classes could be exceedingly difficult for someone who is brand new to any type of programming, but for me it was like redecorating a room in a house I've lived in for years. The bulk was still the same, just a few new details have been added in. The development environment (Visual Studio 2010) is very intuitive and makes stuff that I remember taking FOREVER to code, much faster and much easier! Looking back on it now, I could have just picked up a book and pieced together this training on my own. But it wouldn't have the same effect.

Let's be honest here, I'm doing this because I want to get a job. And, anyone will tell you that getting a job is about WHO you know and not WHAT you know. Taking official training gets me a couple of things that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise:

1) Standardized training in a wide range of items that training on my own just wouldn't have gotten me. I would have focused on the parts that I found interesting and left the rest alone which makes for an ad-hoc training style.

2) Official recognition that I actually TOOK this training. Depending on how things work out with some other stuff, I might be going for official Microsoft certification, which is a badge of honor saying that MICROSOFT says I know my stuff. It's not just me babbling at you, a recognized leader in the software industry is saying that I know my stuff and I can be relied on to develop software. Right now, I have a world-renowned training facility backing me up. Who do I know? I know THEM. And they are vouching for my skills!

Now, I'm not really done yet. I still have a lot at home practice to do before I'm fully comfortable with the new stuff I'm learning. But I didn't have to learn as much as I thought I did, which means I'm much further along than I was expecting. Things are going to get really interesting from here! And who knows what my future holds?