Striving To Put Right What Once Went Wrong...

I love science fiction. It's one of the most versatile genres ever created. However, it tends to alienate people because of the perceived notion that one must be technologically gifted or carry a great deal of scientific knowledge to be able to appreciate works of science fiction. Personally, I could not disagree more. The best science fiction stories NEVER focus on the supposed "futuristic" technology presented in the work, but instead use that technology to cast light on some very specific facet of the human condition. The far future time period, or whatever new technology is featured in the work sets the stage for a story whose themes can only be seen from the framework of science & technology. I can not conceive of a more perfect example of this than one of my favorite television programs, Quantum Leap. In fact, QL's very humanist portrayal of science fiction is at the core of why I love the show.

For those of you unfamiliar with Quantum Leap, the show is about a scientist named Sam Beckett (played by Scott Bakula), who becomes disembodied and lost in time, due to rushing a time travel experiment. While trapped in the past, Sam temporarily takes the place of random people, as the show puts it, "putting right what once went wrong" using knowledge of the time period he's currently in from the future. He gets this future knowledge by means of mental transmission of his partner Al Calavicci (played by Dean Stockwell), who only Sam can see and hear. In each episode, Sam fixes another person's life, during which said person is in Sam's body in the future, usually guiding Al's research into the time period from whence they came.

Now that concept is completely sci-fi. There's no hiding that, but the show itself is all about people. It launches itself off of the stage of science fiction and flies into comedy, drama, action, romance, adventure, etc. And, at the same time, Quantum Leap touches upon a wide variety of social issues, presenting its message in an a fashion of emotional power that makes it unique amongst sci-fi programming. Not even Star Trek (arguably the greatest sci-fi franchise ever to air on television) can match the wide scope that Quantum Leap was essentially built to deliver.


Throughout the course of the show, Sam "leaps" into a wide variety of people: young, old, male, female, black, white, pregnant, even the mentally or physically handicapped, in an equally wide variety of times. Tapping into the nostalgia of the America of yesteryear, where things seemed simpler, but mostly weren't. And each time, Sam does his best to correct whatever tragedy is about to happen: murder, rape, institutionalization, estrangement from family, even something as ephemeral as the loss of a dream.


Sam goes from preventing a town from tearing down a radio station in one episode, to saving the life of a wounded Vietnam vet in another. From helping a woman reach her dream of becoming a singer, to preventing a man from killing his own brother during a race riot in L.A. That's how wide a net Quantum Leap cast during its run.


In recent years, they've tried to re-work the concept into a new series called "Journeyman", which was an awesome attempt. But I think the show failed because it couldn't match the broad range of topics and genres the core concept is designed for. The producers of Journeyman tried to limit that range and it hurt the show. And now, a feature film version is being worked on in the catacombs of Hollywood. I hope they do a better job with Quantum Leap: The Movie, because I would love to see modern audiences re-connect with such an awesome show.

I'll leave you now, dear readers, with a clip from YouTube of the best version of the intro for Quantum Leap. If you have some free time, check out the show, you won't regret it.

Trek inspired Tech

When Apple's iPad hit the stores, I was extremely underwhelmed. It wasn't just my normal cynicism either. While I enjoy picking apart the media hype machine with pointed, intelligent questions, there was something deeper about my lack of enthusiasm for the iPad. It was almost like I had seen it somewhere before, so I wasn't impressed when the rest of the world caught up with what I already knew.

And it wasn't until I read this article from Ars Technica that I realized what it was. 23 years ago, when I was around 10 years old, Star Trek: The Next Generation introduced me to a slew of new technology. One of the most prevalent was the PADD (Personal Access Display/Data Device). Basically, I grew up watching people use touch screen technology every week. So naturally, when the rest of the world caught up to the vision of Gene Roddenberry, Michael & Denise Okuda, and Doug Drexler, with stuff like iPod Touch, iPad, and other touch screen technologies, it didn't make a mark on me.

Reading this article also brought to mind a documentary I saw where the inventors of certain technologies talk about how they were influenced by the ideas they saw on the classic Star Trek series. Capt. Kirk's communicator greatly influenced the creator of cell phone technology and now we're all using flip phones!

The ARS Technica article also brings up a couple of other examples. Those little plastic devices the ST crew would carry around and pop into slots to access the ships computer look an AWFUL lot like our current USB drives and flash memory cards, don't they?

So, no, I'm not impressed with the iPad. I was witness to the core idea behind its development 23 years ago, but it's nice to see the rest of the world finally catching up. Now what would be cool is if someone could write a Mac OS skin that would make the iPad look like the Next Gen PADDs. That would impress me!

Subconscious Nocturnal Deliberations

I'm not someone who usually remembers my dreams. When I do, they tend to be on the weird side. Last night, I actually remembered one of my dreams. It was kind of funky, too. Check it out:

I was standing in front of The Chateau, which is a student dormitory from my college, Middlebury College. But it was different. Normally, it looks like a European structure. But in this dream, it looked like a craftsman version of it. With the dark wood trim and everything. It was a bright, sunny day, and I looked up only to find that the sky was actually the ocean. Thinking that was cool, I tried to lay down on the ground only to find myself not on the ground, but in water. I stand back up and look below me, but all I can see is solid ground, covered in bright green grass and light spotted with flowers.

Then it hits me, I'm dreaming! I say it out loud, and as I do, the grass in front of me starts turning brown and dying. This starts spreading out in tendrils. I jump up into the air, yelling, "No, no no no!" As I'm in the air, I float around so that I can touch the origin spot of the dying grass and I make it live again. The rest of the dead grass is also fixed.

Suddenly, I'm inside of the Chateau, at a bar (which isn't in the real Chateau). And a guy who looks like Artie from Glee was sitting next to me, talking about how I just made a dumb move. I stand up and walk to the door when someone standing on the other side of the door squirts some liquid through a hole in the door. It was such a shocking thing, I woke up.


Now that's bizarre, no? Any ideas as to what any of that could mean?

Some Good Company

In previous essays, I've written down my thoughts on love, marriage, and being single. Even now, I stand by each and every one of those essays. (But the writer in me wishes I had done a better job writing them!) However, there was always an underlying assumption in those works: I was on the outside looking in at the subject matter. While it is my contention that you can only get an objective assessment from OUTSIDE a situation, being INSIDE does afford one more detailed, and nuanced view of any given topic. And I've always believed that MORE information is better than less. That being said, I've been given a chance to re-examine my stance on the various facets of the romantic relationship from INSIDE one. Yes, my dear readers, I recently met a lovely young lady, and took her out on our first date.

Okay, now that you've gotten yourselves off the floor, and cleaned up that drool from the corner of your mouth that always happens when you pass out, here is the story.

For a long while now, I've known that going out and meeting women in the standard way goes against every single one of my strengths. Bars, or supermarkets, or whatever venue to which a man goes to pick up women all operate on an initial assessment of physical attractiveness that determines who women will talk to, who men try to pick up, etc. Any honest survey of my looks reveals that I'm not anywhere near what this country considers physically attractive. So, going out to meet women will just lead to unnecessary rejection. To counteract this, I played to my strengths and put up a profile on a couple of different online dating sites. I actively sent messages to women on these sites, and after about six months or so, I finally got a hit!

We emailed each other for a couple of days, and then started chatting on Yahoo Messenger. After 3-4 days of chatting online, she consented to meet in person for a date. Given the ever present dangers of meeting people who you've contacted online, I chose a public venue and daytime hour for our date. Our first date was for lunch at a local steakhouse, afterwards we would walk around a mall and chat, getting to know each other on a personal level. She agreed. Then I spent the next few days, in morbid anticipation of how many possible ways this date could go wrong.

Date day, or "D Day" as one of my literally inclined friends called it, arrived, and it was a bright sunny day. A good omen, I thought. I get to the steakhouse a few minutes early, only to receive a text that my date was caught in traffic and running late. Not a problem. Then she took a wrong exit and got lost. She ended up appearing at the restaurant about an hour late. For 30 minutes of that hour, I was trapped in a prison of pure psychological panic. Thoughts like "This is a sign", "She's making this up so she won't have to come.", and other such nonsense populated my mind. Then I put all that crap out of my head, and started listening to music and singing along to whatever was playing on my iPod. She showed up and parked next to me while I was in the middle of a song..... Talk about a great first impression!

I got out of my car, and since this was our first time meeting, I held out my hand and introduced myself. She'd already heard me singing, so now displaying good manners couldn't hurt. We walked in, sat down, and had a nice meal. Now, dear readers, you know that she & I had been chatting online prior to this, and she had told me she was extremely shy. During the date, this fact kept escaping my mind. So, throughout the meal, I'm being myself (Oh No!!) and chit-chatting away, and getting very little response. I work to keep the conversation going, try to keep things funny, and interesting. Meanwhile, everything I'm reading from her body language is telling me that she's SO not interested. Then we go to the mall, where I find out that I've run into one of the few women on the planet that DOESN'T like shopping. Not even window shopping. We talked a bit as we walked around, I found a Perfumania, which I led her into, remembering that she likes her guys with good smelling cologne. I find an old favorite, and much to my surprise, she likes it. We keep walking around the mall, and end up going to the Disney store where she picks up a gift for a young family member who was really into Buzz Lightyear. At this point, she's tired of the mall. So, not having anything else planned, I drive her back to her car, and we stay in my car parked outside the steakhouse and talk for another hour, hour and a half. Topics ranging from sports to kayaking, from karaoke to Glee. After awhile, she said she had to go, and I walked her to car. I gave her a hug good-bye (during which she said "Wow, you smell good!" Thank you Azzaro cologne!!), and a kiss on the cheek. And then she drove away.

And that's it. That was my first date in over two years.

My assessments after the date. She was completely bored, and regretting the whole time she was with me. But she didn't bail out early, which was mystifying. I was expecting the bail out call at any point during the date. Sometime in the couple of hours after the date, I remembered that she had told me she was really shy in person. At which point, my brain (no longer in the grips of crash & burn date panic), popped up all the times during the date she told me that she was having a good time, and that she was still kind of shy since we were just meeting for the first time.

A couple of days later, she and I chatted on instant messenger again, and we kind of did our own post-date breakdown. Turns out she had a blast!! She thought I was a great singer, and now understands why I enjoy karaoke so much. She thought I was nice and kind, and very gracious, especially when I introduced myself, and handsome! (Talk about seeing things from a different viewpoint!) That's something I *RARELY* hear from women, even though I keep telling them how hot I am! And much to my surprise, she agreed to go out on a SECOND date later this week!!

Well, dear readers? Thoughts??

New music: Recovery

I got my hands on Eminem's latest album, Recovery. After carefully listening to the album, I can safely declare Eminem back to his truest, and greatest form. Overall, his delivery on his lyrics is solid, full of that latent power that comes from someone who has experience in music and the wisdom to use that experience wisely. There was a hint that this type of album was coming with the last track on the "Relapse" CD.

Recovery exceeded all the hopes engendered by "Underground", by a long shot! This is Eminem at his best, not only performance-wise but also, in his writing. Here's the video for the first single, "Not Afraid".



That song has the makings of a true anthem! Anyone who has ever battled their own demons in a river of shit and come out on the other side of it clean and whole can relate to this song. And it serves as an inspiration for those who are still in a battle.

Yesterday, the video for the next single, "Love The Way You Lie" featuring Rihanna, was released. Giving Rihanna the hook to the song was an inspired choice, since she has had some of her own relationship troubles and that experience informs her performance. The two of them reflect the couple in the video as two damaged people caught in the fires of a extremely dysfunctional relationship.

Check it out:



My personal favorite track is "Cinderella Man", but that doesn't have a video yet. I'm hoping, though!! If you have the chance, give this album a listen.

Thoughts On... Humanity Pt 2 - Men

The human animal is an exceedingly complex creature, and worthy of extensive study. That study can be made more manageable by studying smaller segments of the whole and how those segments interact with each other, then integrating that knowledge into something of a cohesive whole. The easiest segmentation is along gender lines and consider human males & human females. This is part two of that consideration.

Growing up, I didn't really have very many male role-models. My biological father left when I was around two and I haven't had much interaction with him in the three decades since. My step father had something of a revolving door policy which ended with him leaving permanently a year or so after my baby sister was born. I spent most of my time surrounded by women, so most of the lessons I've learned about being a man have been more theoretical than practical. With the practical lessons being more about what a man is NOT, as opposed to how to actually BE a man. Despite spending less time "with the guys", I was able to gather a great deal of information which allowed me to understand the natural impulses that pushed at me. It was decidedly easier to learn since I was on the inside of the thought processes as well as listening to others and watching what they did.

I watched as they tested their power by physical combat, from kicks and punches to flying tackles. I saw them use that power to test others and themselves, to defend helpless friends, and to attack unwitting enemies. I listened as they covered fear and insecurities with bragging and lies so often that the lies became the truth. I paid attention as they continuously realized their lives had not prepared them to deal with the women they suddenly wanted, endured the consequences of injustices they didn't commit, and paid attention as they learned the power of strength through gentleness.

The first conclusion I came to, upon analyzing the information presented to me, is that men are just as emotionally complex as their female counterparts. But rather than ride out emotional storms, men build walls and compartmentalize themselves. This allows them to deal with the challenges of the world with little to no complications, solving their problems by facing them head on and dealing with any emotional aftermath later, if ever. Those walls bury the emotional complexity of men, and give them the cold distance which society has attributed to them.

Also, as a secondary effect, these walls disconnect men from direct, hands-on experience of their emotions. While men are still subject to the emotions, if these walls are built early enough in a man's life, he will have no knowledge of what these forces are that move him. The irony is most men won't need that knowledge until they start dealing with women. And yes, this behavior is actively encouraged by modern day society as well.

The second conclusion I came to is that men are built to exert force. Men are physically larger, and on average have more muscle mass, and are trained to focus and channel their strength to enhance it. This also reflected in the male psyche as some of the most basic primal imperatives are to overcome or destroy obstacles with strength and power. The bulk of male to male communication comes across in various forms of challenge.

The third conclusion I came to is that men are not subtle creatures. Men are expected to be able to shrug off the stresses human society throws at them. Whether those stresses are physical or psychological, men are supposed to take the hit, absorb whatever damage, and move forward with little lasting effect. These expectations are trained into men from childhood, as such men develop the capacities to handle the excesses of human society. But the acquiring of those capacities does
not allow for the development of subtlety. In learning to deal with massive snowstorms, one doesn't develop the skill to assess variations in individual snowflakes.

The fourth conclusion I came to is that the worst pain and issues a man will ever have to deal with will come not from men but from women. Everything in modern society trains men to utilize their power to deal with all the problems they face. If they stand tough, and aloof, they'll persevere. Then they try interacting with women, and the same society that has trained them to survive by being strong, cold, and direct, tells them that those tactics can't be used in dealing with the women with whom they are biologically driven to interact.

Overall, it has become apparent to me that the domain of the male is the physical world. From an early age, men are trained to compete, to absorb damage, and ignore the frailties engendered in the mind. They learn focus, control, and the advantages of planning ahead. Direct and decisive action become a man's greatest tools, allowing him to cut through obstacles to accomplish the goals. But, the focus on the physical allows for a blind spot, and for all their strengths and power, that blind spot is and always will be the chink in their armor.

In the end, men are simple creatures. With the proper information, they can be easily understood.

Thoughts On... Humanity Pt 1 - Women

The human animal is an exceedingly complex creature, and worthy of extensive study. That study can be made more manageable by studying smaller segments of the whole and how those segments interact with each other, then integrating that knowledge into something of a cohesive whole. The easiest segmentation is along gender lines and consider human males & human females. This is part one of that consideration.

Growing up, I was surrounded by my mom, my two sisters, my cousins (97.8999% of which were female), my mom's sisters and all their girlfriends, not to mention all the women around me in school. When I hit puberty and truly realized there is a difference between boys & girls, I became obsessed with understanding this seemingly eternal presence in my life. I can't tell you how much I've read, written, heard, saw, thought, and analyzed about women in service of my obsession, because frankly, I just don't know. But given the biological imperative behind it, I did what I normally do: keep my mouth shut and my eyes & ears open.

I watched as they taught each other how to use make-up, saw the rules of how the lovely creatures you see walking around are built, and paid attention to the seemingly never ending work needed to maintain that beautiful, yet ultimately false image. I listened to the things they said they wanted and seen what they ACTUALLY responded to, heard the complaints they made about the men in their lives and watched them go back to those men time & time again, and paid attention to their cries as they rang out against the injustices the world wrought upon them, while taking note of how they perpetuate those same injustices on each other.

The first conclusion I came to, upon analyzing the information presented to me, is that women are slaves to their emotions. Like a ship adrift on stormy seas, women chart their course based on their current emotional state, which is why their thought processes never seem to have any logical consistency. However, due to this heightened emotional state, women show a greater empathy for others. This empathy, coupled with the biological imperative to nurture, has earned women the role of guardians of the moral virtues of society. This is why women are consistently thought of as more virtuous. This also explains why society tends to shun women who do not live up to that ideal, especially in areas of sexual promiscuity and motherhood.

Also, because women are prone to being swept up in their own emotions, they become, more often than not, the architects of their own destruction. Time and time again I've seen women ignore the real world in favor of their own illusions. And when those illusions inevitably shatter under the weight of reality, women will grab the broken shards of their world and, barring an outside influence, immediately rebuild it. What's worse is that modern society actually ENCOURAGES this behavior.

The second conclusion I came to is that women are built to endure pain. From the purely physical stresses of childbirth, through the psychological trauma of interpersonal relationships, women absorb pain with a talent that is, at times, astounding.

The third conclusion I came to is that over the course of time, the never-ending societal pressure laid on women to look good has given them the ability to pierce and break down the images presented by other women as well as men. Minute discrepancies appear as glaring oversights in the female eye.

The fourth conclusion I came to is that the worst pain and issues a woman will ever have to deal with will come not from men but other women. Their capacity for empathy gives women the unique insight needed to undermine the efforts of the women around them, and if it takes time women will endure until the proper time. All the while watching and taking note of all the weaknesses their target displays.

Overall, it has become apparent to me that the domain of the female is the realm of the mind. It's widely known that the bulk of the human brain, about 70%, is devoted to processing visual information. With society's pressures to look good, women are trained from an early age to affect others with visual cues. That effect opens a door that women can then utilize to manipulate others, with their capacity for empathy giving them the knowledge to make educated guesses as to how others are feeling. And yet, while the mind is the realm of female power, it is also the seat of their greatest weakness.

In the end, women are exceedingly simple creatures. With the proper information, they can be easily understood.