Diet Update: Week 6 - The Final Week

You are probably very intrigued by the title of this post. After all, I told you that the initial phase of my diet program was 13 weeks. But when I first heard of this program while sitting in my hospital room at St. Joseph's, I made what has turned out to be a prophetic statement. And, dammit, I was proven right. The statement was very simple. "I don't think I can afford this program." At the time, though, it was a medical necessity because I needed to lose weight quickly in order to increase the safety margins of the operation to remove my gall bladder. I thought it would go quickly because of the weight I had already lost on the IV fluids, but that turned out to be COMPLETELY wrong.

Now, I'd been working with the people running the program to manage the doctor and class fees as well as the cost of food. And for a little while, things were going well. Then the prices went up on the food and I started falling behind. I kept up a valiant effort, and I thought I was holding my own. Because of my suspended license (see previous post), I missed Tuesday's diet class. I called in and let them know the situation. I also told them I'd make up Tuesday's class tonight.

I walk into the clinic, and the lady who 6 weeks ago told me that she would do whatever it takes to make the fees work for me tells me that I currently owe $410. I told her I could pay half. she said she was getting pressure from the corporate office and she needed to collect the whole amount. I informed her that I couldn't do that and still pay my rent. My only other option was to with the At-Home version of the program, so I wouldn't have to pay for classes. That dropped my debt to $310.  Yay!! I still can't pay that. And just like that, I couldn't continue in the program.

So, with a small supply of diet food in my house, I was asked if I wanted to put down the $200 I had towards the debt. I know she was trying to be nice. I really, really do. Which allowed me to keep from yelling my response to her. If I give you that money without being in the program, I don't get the diet food, and I won't have the money to buy groceries (a.k.a. REAL food), since the rest of my money HAS to go to the rent. I guess while I wasn't yelling, I came across kind of intense because she seemed a bit taken aback. She asked if I would like to talk to their nutritionist to set up one on one consultations. I said sure and sat to wait for the nutritionist's schedule to open up. After about 3-4 minutes of waiting, I saw the nurse that handled my weigh ins, and told her I was out of the program, but I wanted to get a final weigh in. She said she could in a few minutes. Then one of the class instructors came out, recognized me and came over to chat. I sketched in the situation, and she seemed genuinely sorry. Then she headed in to start her class. Another minute or so, and the nurse came out to do my weigh in:

Previous Weight: 476.2lbs
Current Weight: 477.6lbs
Weight Delta: +1.4.6lbs

(Although, my scale at home says I'm at 470lbs.. so think on that!)

That was the icing on the fucking cake! I went UP in weight this week! I thanked the nurse for the courtesy and then sat back down to wait for the nutritionist. After a further 10 min or so of waiting, I get called back up to the reception area, where I'm told that I would need a referral from my primary care physician in order to set up the one on one consultations. Rather than have me wait (neatly skipping over the 20 min or so I had just wasted waiting), I could just get the referral and then come back.

I nodded and turned to collect my things and leave. As I was about to walk out, the lady asks if I would like to buy the week's worth of food I had ordered. Once again, I showed the mastery of my restraint and didn't yell my response, but I couldn't really mask the bitterness in my voice, as I simply said, "There really wouldn't be a point." And left.

From the beginning, I KNEW this program was going to end this way. I had no doubt that I would be able to do the diet, I just knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. And the fucked up part is, the program was WORKING!! Aside from today's mishap, I had lost approximately 30lbs!!! This is yet ANOTHER THING that I couldn't fucking have because I simply did not have the money for it! God, I am so angry right now I could kill someone.

But this is NOT the end of my health issue. It's not like my gall bladder is going to suddenly fix itself. I still have to lose weight to have the surgery. I still want to keep losing weight until I get into my target range of 200-250lbs. This is just the end of that particular diet program. And I have changed. I'm no longer drinking soda as if I were hooked on an IV, I'm walking 3/4ths of a mile every day (except during rain storms and hurricanes), and I am healthier. Which brings up the question: what happens next?

Well, some of my friends had said to me (after I got out of the hospital & before I started the HMR diet program) that I could lose the weight on my own. Are they correct? I don't know, but I guess it's high time I find out.