As If I Didn't Hate Twilight Enough Already....

Most of you know that I'm a comic book fan. As someone who loves stories in general, I've always found comics a very dynamic medium for storytelling. I've also made no secret that my favorite comic characters come from the DC Comics Universe. Today, I found out something that has me wondering if the people at DC are going insane.




In a push to generate original modern material, DC has created a new series of graphic novels under the "Earth One" banner. First on the list for this series is Superman. How do they plan on re-inventing Supes into a more modern incarnation?? By Twilight-izing him.... Yes, I'm serious. Don't believe me? Read the article for yourself!!

Can you believe this?? First off, WHY, DC, WHY??? I can't count how many times I've defended DC against any & all who doubted their storytelling prowess. Talking about the deeper philosophies embedded in their stories and how their characters have become a part of the American Mythos. To have them do this, makes me want to throw my hands up in disgust and move to the Marvel universe permanently.

Second, why Superman? Of the entire pantheon of characters in DC, the one most apt to go "Twilight" would be Batman. And while I would prefer that DIDN'T happen, it is kind of a perfect marriage. Bruce Wayne is dark, moody, and spends most of his time brooding and living in darkness. I would figure DC wanting to appease the Twilight Twits would blend the Terry McGinnis character (From Batman Beyond) with Bruce Wayne for (the inevitable, but not yet announced) Batman: Earth One graphic novel. Like I said, I wouldn't want this to come about, but I could understand going that route. It makes logistical sense. 

And speaking of Batman, there's always been a kind of yin-yang thing with Batman and Superman (the two flagship franchises of DC, which is why I'm still talking about Bats). So, if DC is going to make Superman angsty and moody, what are they going to do with Bats? Make him an upbeat, happy-go-lucky, devil may care guy? Seriously??

Finally, from a storyline perspective, having a moody & brooding Superman is inherently dangerous. For all the flack Supes gets from his detractors, he is the single most powerful being on the planet. He could theoretically knock the Earth out of it's orbit of the Sun and kill everyone. This is not the character you want to have being angsty or moody. Supes being an overgrown boyscout is one of humanity's defenses against his power.

*crosses fingers* I'm hoping DC re-thinks this idea, but I also know better than to really expect it to change. God, I really, really, REALLY hate Twilight.... I can't wait until that damned series fades into Oblivion.

An A.R.K. - Act of Random Kindness

Right on the heels of my rant (after which I felt much better, by the way), the Cosmic Awareness decides to throw me a curveball in the form of an act of random kindness. Here's the story:

My co-workers have had kind of a front row seat for the madness of my apartment hunt. Granted, I kept most of it kind of low key, but they still got to see a lot of it on a day-to-day basis. The day after my last posting, one of my co-workers, Janet (name changed to protect the innocent) comes up to me and says, "I have a gift for you."

I eyed her, suspecting some kind of prank. Not that Janet is a prankster in any way. She's an agreeable, solid character, a genuinely nice person. Which, of course, makes her the PERFECT front woman for a prank. I know there are several other pranksters in the office. I responded with a bit of my paranoia bleeding into my voice, "Really?"

"Yes, a big present. A service of dishes for 8 people!" As Janet goes on about a family member cleaning out old stuff from a previous (short term) marriage, all my paranoia dissipated to be replaced with amazement, gratitude, and yes, a bit of shame for suspecting her. (Which just adds to her being the perfect front woman for a prank!)

And the dish service is fantastic, too. Not at all girly or anything. Just simple and classic. It was a very cool thing for Janet to do. While other co-workers have donated stuff to my apartment, this instance struck a chord because it was completely random. I knew Janet was listening, but she has two daughters and a large extended family that she's dealing with, so I was thinking that my issue just went in one ear and out the other. So, the fact that my issues registered enough for her to remember it was really cool.

Second was the timing. Just as I'm at the point where I'm freaking out about all the little things my apartment needs, someone came and randomly gave me a chunk of the stuff I needed to get. Janet couldn't have timed it better if she were paid to! It was really cool.

Life Note: Apartment

I've decided to start a new ongoing series of posts on here called "Life Notes". Basically, it's just a mini-rant about a small, stupid issue that is either taking over my mind or bugging the living crap out of me. For my first Life Note, I'm going to rant about having an apartment.

 
You know the thing that messes with my head about having your own place? All the little things you find you need to have that you never thought about before. Like a can opener! Who in their right minds ever thinks about can openers? They are no-brainer MUST have, right? Well, here in my new place, I didn't have one.

My family and friends, trying to be helpful, donate stuff, cans of beans, soup, corn, etc. I'm thinking, "Hey, I can get me some corn for dinner tonight!" NOPE, because I didn't have a freaking CAN OPENER!!! (But I bought one yesterday, so I'm finally good there.)

Then there's pots. Not frying pans, but POTS. Like a medium sized pot that you could cook rice in... or like 4-5 chicken thighs in. Nothing huge like the soup cauldrons that Grandma's the world over use to indulge in their arcane magic of cooking, just a nice medium sized pot. They're like EXTINCT!! I went to a couple of places looking for a single, solitary pot. (On my shopping trip for a damned can opener, figure why not kill 2 birds with one stone, right?) Couldn't find them anywhere!! Oh, sure for like $130 I could get an entire SET of pans, pots, and stuff, but I don't have that kind of money. And all I wanted was a medium size pot for me to cook some rice in. NOTHING!! Sure they had pressure cookers that I could fit my TV in, and they had waffle makers, and pancake makers, and George Forman's "THE NEXT GRILLERATION". I kid you not, that's actually in stores. But, a single solitary pot was NOWHERE to be found!!

And let's not even talk about other little things.. like spreadable butter for sandwiches.. or garbage bags, or for that matter a garbage CAN!,  push pins, Tupperware, BOWLS, for crying out loud. How difficult is it to get a non-miniature sized bowl where I can get more than ONE spoonful of cereal in? And there's hand towels, spatulas, a ladle, sieves, glass cleaner, paper towels, those plastic things to organize your utensils, sponges to do dishes, dish washing soap, broom, mop, bucket, dustpan..... I MEAN COME ON!!!!  

People, if you are living in an apartment with others, whatever you do, DON'T MOVE OUT ON YOUR OWN!! Your wallet/purse will NEVER recover!

You Might Be A Geek If...

In the spirit of my last blog post, and in the style of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be A Redneck If...", I have come up with a new low for humor, dear readers! The title of this post says it all.

Now, before we continue, I just want to say that I came up with all of the following statements. They are 100% Dilking originals, but feel free to use them if you wish! Oh, and if you think of any, post them in the comments!! Anyway, here we go:

You Might Be A Geek If....


If you buy tickets to see a movie in theaters you already own on DVD, you might be a geek.

If you have more computer parts in your house than you do furniture, you might be a geek.

If a girl shouts "Bug!!" and you whip out a Netbook, you might be a geek.

If you can recite the Star Spangled Banner in BINARY, you might be a geek.

If your idea of a romantic night is having your Everquest avatars sitting in front of a digital fire, you might be a geek.

If you have a wife & kids in The Sims, but can't get a date in real life, you might be a geek.

If you have drawn up blueprints for an robot girlfriend, you might be a geek.

If you spend more time surfing the internet than actually talking on your phone, you might be a geek.

If you think watching G4 is foreplay, you might be a geek.

If you think chatting online is a great idea for a date, you might be a geek.

If you know the Konami cheat code by heart, but can't remember your sister's name, you might be a geek.

If your entertainment system has better sound than the local movie theater's, you might be a geek.

If someone shouts "WOW" and you think World Of Warcraft, you might be a geek.

If you can disassemble electronics in less time than it takes to turn on a light bulb, you might be a geek.

If your coffee table is a spool of Ethernet cable, you might be a geek.

If you set up all the appliances in your house to be controllable from your laptop, you might be a geek.

If you think it's a cool idea to install an A.I. in your car so it talks back to you, you might be a geek.

If the first thing you set up after moving to a new place is your electronic equipment,  you might be a geek.

And last, but not least:
If your online characters have more sex than you do, you might be a geek.

I'm Such A Geek..

Right on the heels of my second public declaration of Back To The Future as my #1 favorite movie (the first time was on my very first blog post. Don't belive me? Check it out, I called it Blog Zero - The Origin.), I find out exactly how much of geek I really am.

See, Back To The Future is celebrating it's 25th anniversary of it's release with a couple of big events. One is the full on, high-def remastered, outatime badass release of the entire trilogy on Blu-ray on the 26th of October. AMC Theaters is jumping on the bandwagon with a special showing of the original film, Back To The Future, in theaters on 10/23 and on 10/25 in select cities, one of which is close to me. I'm such a geek I bought tickets to go see it.


Think about that for a second. I currently OWN the trilogy on DVD. I can go home and pop in the disc and watch the movie whenever I want and I bought two tickets to see it IN THEATERS!!!Not to mention that I was thinking about getting the "DeLorean Edition" of the Blu-Ray release, which comes with a scale model of the DeLorean from BttF II.


How much of a geek am I, huh? See people, these are the things that prevent me from getting girlfriends. No woman in their right mind would go out with a guy who gets all hyped up about a 25 year old movie being shown in theaters again... My only solace is that a good friend of mine from college is coming with me. Of course, SHE's married so she can afford a geek out. Me, I have no excuse.. But, while I am a *HUGE* geek for doing this, at least I'm not the only one.


And I just realized the Blu-Ray comes out NEXT TUESDAY!! YEAH!!!

*reads last bit and hangs head in shame*

*sigh*

I am such a geek...

Halloween Essentials: The Jack-Chop

Now, I normally don't do product endorsements since no one really reads this blog. But, in this case, I do have to make an exception. This product is just too good a deal for me NOT to tell you, my dear readers, all about it! It's called the Jack-Chop! You know what? Instead of me telling you about it, here's a commercial for it:



Now, that is ESSENTIAL for your Halloween needs!!

Top Ten Favorite Movies of ALL TIME

Whenever someone found out how much I love movies, they always asked me the same question. "What is your favorite movie?" For a long time, I didn't have an answer. Because I could promote any movie I watched as the best or the worst if I were in the proper mindset. Then I came to find the perfect means for determining my favorite movie. The criteria is really simple. Ask yourselves this, dear readers, what movie would you always be into watching, no matter what mood you're in? Depressed cause your lover left? Watch this movie to forget your sorrows. Happy cause you got that job promotion? Watch this movie to close out the celebrations. Angry cause some one cut you off? Watch this movie to calm you down. If you can think of ONE movie to fit all those scenarios and whichever others are coming across your mind right now, THAT is your favorite movie.

As a movie lover, it took me a long time to create this list. Some of you may be surprised at an entry or two on this list. But most will read this list and say... Of course, those are the ones he likes. They are so obvious! So, I now present to you my top ten favorite movies of all time. This is the mother lode for me. If an alien culture contacted me about movies, these would be the movies I would show them.

10) The Princess Bride
This is an interesting entry for me. Normally, I would scoff at what is essentially nothing more than a period piece chick flick, right? WRONG! What makes this movie is EVERYTHING ELSE in it. It was like the producers wanted to make an awesome fantasy film and needed a love story to tie the individual scenes together. From my personal favorite, Inigo Montoya and his 20+ year quest for revenge, to the little boy sick in bed making faces at the "kissing parts", The Princess Bride is nothing less than fantastic.

09) Groundhog Day
This movie is fantastic because the premise is completely absurd, but handled in the most realistic way possible. A guy suddenly get stuck in a time loop, reliving the same day over & over again. No explanation. No reason why. No "test of your soul" or whatever. It just happens. How would you deal? What would you do? Another reason I love this movie is because it's a premise that can't be copied without referencing the original. Seriously, ever since this movie was released, any type of medium dealing with a person repeating time is described as a "Groundhog Day" event. This movie is unique, intriguing, amazing, and just fundamentally awesome!

08) The Matrix
It's exceptionally rare for me to encounter a film so densely packed with so many different philosophical treatises, so tightly written that can still be described as fucking KICK ASS!! The movie blends computer theory, existential philosophy, and various theological treatises using kung fu, spaceships and robots. Watching this movie was life changing for me. I never thought in a million years a movie like this would EVER make it past the Hollywood executives. And I'm glad it did. (NOTE: This list is just single films, otherwise the whole trilogy would be in this slot.)



07) Live Free Or Die Hard
This is another entry that people would find surprising. After all, if you like a series it's usually the first in the series that's the best. Like the main protagonist of the series, John McClane, did for the action hero, this series bucks the trend by getting better with each successive movie. The reason I love this movie is simple: DH4 shows that despite how advanced we think we are, or how awesome our technology is, the greatest power we have is our spirit. The technobabble is just a distraction. Our will to live, to survive; our determination to NOT be beaten. THAT is what drives us. It might not win us friends, or give us an easy life, but it drives us to succeed and compels us to move forward. To always strive for what's just out of our reach, no matter how hard it tries to elude us. (NOTE: Series favorites in order: 4, 1, 3, then 2)

06) T2: Judgement Day
Here's another series that showcases the power of the human spirit. But that's just one of the things that makes this movie awesome. You take the example of the human spirit, mix in the struggle against the demons that are fueled by that same spirit, add in the question of what makes a being human, ethics of the usage of technology in war, and some philosophy of time travel. Blend in some action and you got a fantastic ride that you'll want to re-live over and over again. (NOTE: Series favorites in order: 2, 1, 4, then 3)

05) Serenity
The thing about science fiction movies is that they tend to build upon each other which makes it very difficult to get original ideas. Serenity is an original view of the future. Most science fiction assumes a betterment of human society where everyone kind of levels out and people are always on equal footing. Serenity showed us that just because humanity reaches the stars, doesn't mean that we quell our social demons. That it's possible to advance technologically but still have no solutions for poverty, governments desire to control their citizen's thoughts, etc. Mash that up with some good old fashioned humor and some hell raisin' good times and you got something truly unique.

04) Fellowship Of The Ring
J.R.R. Tolkien is the father of modern fantasy. Period. Everything you know about elves, orcs, dwarves, trolls, etc. was collected and re-vamped by Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings series. Reading those books, assuming you don't get bogged down in the overwhelming details, you fall in love with the characters and through them the species they represent. For the first time ever, Hollywood has managed to create a decent representation of that world and from there accurately tell the story of Frodo and the other members of the Fellowship. And, they show how the fate of the greatest of societies hang on the actions of the individuals within those societies. This film showcases the strength of the bonds between people, human or not, and how those bonds allow us to overcome and endure what we think is unendurable. (NOTE: The whole series is awesome in order.)

03) Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Raiders introduced audiences to Indiana Jones, one of the unluckiest heroes in movie history. That he survived the first scenes of the film is a testament to not only his strength of will, but also to the depth of his knowledge. I think that's what got me into the Indiana Jones series. The fact that I was shown a hero that wasn't all about the action. Jones did the research, gained the knowledge he needed (and a lot more) and then used that knowledge to survive. Jones was a thinking man's hero. (NOTE: Series favorites in order: 1, 3, 2, then 4)

02) Return Of The Jedi
Star Wars borrows heavily from the trademarks of successful mythologies which, in turn, made the series into a wildly successful mythology. But out of the original trilogy, Return of The Jedi is my favorite because it took the typical payoff of the mythological story and grounded it in reality. Normally, the young upstart is trained by a old sage and then has the necessary power to defeat everything in his path. But in Jedi, that young upstart gets really good with his training, yet kind of like Icarus, bites off more than he can chew. And when he gets in trouble, who does he go to? His father. The same father who only moments before (in one of the GREATEST SPEECHES EVER!!) threatened to corrupt his own daughter's mind, now is the only salvation for his son. Coming from the fucked up family I have, I could most DEFINITELY relate! (NOTE: Series favorites in order: 6, 5, 4. Prequel Trilogy doesn't measure up.)

01) Back To The Future
The best sci-fi stories always use the technology they create to showcase some hidden aspect of the human condition. The best feature film example of this is my number one favorite movie of all time: Back To The Future. Yes, you could call it a time-travel movie, but that's not what it's really about. The movie is about a teenager seeing his parents when they were teenagers and realizing how MUCH they have in common despite the different times they lived in. A powerful statement about family and understanding that could only be brought about in a sci-fi or fantasy framework. At the same time, the movie also showcases the strengths humanity gains from it's traditions (the storytelling of the mother, which provided a contextual guide for how things were supposed to go in the past), the power of the bond between mentor and student (the Doc & Marty), and how dangerous humanity can be to itself given the improper use of technology. All of that, rolled up into ONE movie liberally dosed with fantastic music, intense writing ("What did I TELL YOU? 88 MILES PER HOUR!!!") and awesome comedy. It's no wonder that no matter what mood I'm in, I'd always watch Back To The Future and why it's my number one movie of all time.

That's my list, dear readers, what's yours?