Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It Was My Birthday And I Sang... Cause I Wanted To

Last Friday was a momentous day for me, my dear readers! If you didn't already know, last Fri was my birthday, and I decided to do something exceptionally rare for me. I threw a birthday party! Now, I know what you're thinking: Me? Party? But, I swear to you, it 's true! A friend of mine (let's call her Ms. Party Planner) was able to find a venue that was close by, available on my birthday, AND free! It's called "El Taller" (pronounced tah-yer) and it's a chill place where you can get some good food, some drinks and be creative. It's a really great place and will most likely become my chill spot in Lawrence.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: Transcendence

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Transcendence". In this case, we get not one, not two, not three, but FOUR trailers! No, I'm serious!! Don't believe me? Read on!

Friday, December 20, 2013

Hope For The Future...

Those who know me know that the end of year holiday season isn't the greatest time of year for me. I'm not going to go into why, the point is I'm not a fan of this time of year and this is just the beginning of my unease, because I get a relapse in Feb with the whole Valentine's Day bit. Well, normally that's the case. But for the year 2014, I have hope! Yes, I do. Not for the Christmas season to come, but for the overly commercialized "love season" that surrounds National Single's Awareness Day, Feb 14th. And now, my dear readers, you are asking yourselves, why? What is it that gives me hope for next year's Valentine Day? There are three things that give me hope to survive the next Season of Love without going on a rampaging murdering spree.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: Jupiter Ascending

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Jupiter Ascending".

Monday, December 9, 2013

My Weekend

I love music. I could not imagine a world where there was no music. There is no other medium that engages the emotions and touches the soul quite like music. It can be entertaining, educational, moving and cathartic. This past weekend, I went to karaoke. A friend of mine does some Karaoke DJing on the side and I wanted to support him so I went and brought some friends with me. I love singing karaoke, and I wanted to have a good time because I was feeling a bit more down than normal for the holidays due to a recent dating misadventure (I'll tell you all about it in a future post.).

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Thoughts On... PlayStation 4

It's been a little while since I've gotten my PS4 and per my friend David's request, I have to go over how things are going with the system. As I said in my previous post, I knew that basically the whole world was going to be logging on to the PlayStation Network to get updates and start playing around with the new console, so I chose to go to sleep. I wasn't going to wait for over an hour to connect to the PSN just to then wait another hour to get the update. So, the next day while I was phoning it in at work, my overly tired brain came up with an idea! They say Necessity is the mother of invention and they would be right. I was trying to figure out a way to stay awake the whole day and I logged in to the PSN at work. I was able to access it with no problem and downloaded the PS4 update to my ever present USB drive. When I got home, I plugged in the PS4 and immediately updated the software. Total time: 5 min.

Top Ten TV Crushes of My Youth

When I was little, my mother had this paranoid idea that if she let me run around outside on the streets of Manhattan, I would become some kind of thug or criminal. Based on this belief she kept me locked up in our 3rd floor apt (or at my aunt's apt next door). Being a child with an agile mind in need of a great deal of entertainment, I turned to watching TV... a LOT of TV.  To be honest, I don't even remember all the shows I used to watch growing up. But, every once in awhile an idea comes along to spark a trip down memory lane. A little over a month ago, my good friend David gave me that spark. He came up with a post on his top ten TV crushes of his youth, and the idea came alive in my head. Hence, this post. But first, about crushes...

Friday, November 15, 2013

Greatness Awaits No More...

So, I'm someone who has been dealing with technology for a long time. And one of the things that I've learned about tech is to NEVER get the first version of the technology because there's always a greater chance of bugs. After all, there's only so much testing you can do in a lab, so there will always be unforeseen bugs when a new piece of tech is made available to the real world. In keeping with that I wasn't going to attempt to get a PlayStation 4 at launch. Plus, with the speed at which all the systems available for pre-order were snapped up, I didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell of getting one without a pre-order.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Movie Review: Captain Phillips

When I first heard about the Captain Phillips movie, I thought it was too soon. After all, the real life events of the hijacking only happened about four years ago. I didn't really think it was a good idea to delve into those events. But the captain who actually went through those events had published a book on the hijacking, and allowed the movie to be made, so I guess he was okay with it. In case you didn't know, Captain Phillips is based on the real life events that happened in 2009 when a U.S. cargo ship, the MV Maersk Alabama, was hijacked by Somali pirates. Despite my personal misgivings, I did go to see the film, mostly due to Tom Hanks, and I must admit I really enjoyed the film. It was a really cool movie.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Horror Movie Marathon

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I always rejoice in the spirit of Halloween. The enjoyment of the darkness and the evil around each and every one of us is intoxicating. And during this time of year, I'm not the only one who is getting into it! Seriously, it's awesome to feel like I fit in with everyone else! This is the one time of the year where my interest in magic & the occult becomes socially acceptable. It's nice to hear people talking about ghosts and their own experiences with the supernatural. Seeing friends trying to scare one another, or band together for strength and support as they watch their favorite horror films. Not that they're scared or anything, (of course, they're not. No one's scared of these movies. Please!) it's just cooler to watch it with a crowd of people....

In either case, for me it's a good time! This year, I don't get to celebrate Halloween the way I usually do with my Halloween Horror Movie Marathon (H2M2). But if I did, this would be the list of movies I would have watched. In this case, I was going for horror movies I haven't seen at all. These are all brand new. Yes, remakes count as new films.

Carrie (2013)
The Purge
I Spit On Your Grave 2
Fright Night 2: New Blood
Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Embrace Of The Vampire (2013)

Alas, this was not meant to be. But in the spirit of reminiscing, what would be YOUR horror movie list this year?

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Top 10 Romantic Comedies...

Okay,  I hereby adhere to the promise I made in my previous post and present to you my choices for the top ten romantic comedies. You'll notice that they aren't your typical entries in the genre. Now, please remember the rules, any all time favorites are banned from this list. Frankly if a movie is good enough to be my all time favorite, it's unfair to compare it to other movies. So rom-coms like The Princess Bride and Groundhog Day are disqualified.

Second, these have to be FAVORITES. Movies that I'd be down to watch whenever the opportunity presents itself, no matter what mood I'm in. Happy, sad, depressed, hyper, etc. it's always a good time to watch these. Remember, I'm a guy so I'm not going to gravitate to fluff like "27 Dresses" or "Head Over Heels". These are going to be movies that I found funny (usually because of the side characters as opposed to the romantic leads) that just happened to have some romance thrown in, or had such a quirky display of a relationship that I was too intrigued to not watch.  Anyway, here it is, my top ten rom coms:

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: X-Men: Days of Future Past

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "X-Men: Days of Future Past".

One of the biggest problems with converting comic book storylines in general, and Marvel stories in particular, is the casting. In the bulk of the storylines, there are too many characters to feasibly fit in a film. A couple of lines and paint will allow a character to appear in a comic, but in the movies it's quite a different matter. But Marvel proved me wrong with their plan for bringing about the Avengers movie. Now they are tackling one of my favorite stories: Days of Future Past. Here check out the trailer:

Monday, October 28, 2013

Movie Marathon Day: Sat Nov 2nd

While I do admit that I miss having a girlfriend, there are certain benefits to not having one. For example, there isn't a girlfriend in the world who would allow me to do what I have planned for this Saturday. See, I've been severely lacking in my movie watching. It's been partly because it's rare that there are this many movies in the theaters that I actually want to go see, but on the whole it's been because life events have gotten in the way. But, that's all over. And so, this Saturday, Nov 2nd, I will move into a movie theater for the day and watch EVERY SINGLE MOVIE on my list that is STILL in theaters. Yes, that's correct. I will be doing a movie marathon just for ME. No one else but ME. So, what movies are on the list? I'm glad you asked! Here, check them out:

Friday, October 25, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: Captain America: Winter Soldier

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Captain America: Winter Soldier".

In this day and age, people have gotten the point that comics in general, and superhero comics specifically, can tell serious and adult stories. And the movie industry is catching up. While the first Captain America movie went along the heartwarming side, showing why it is that Steve Rodgers is such a well loved person (both in the comics and by the fans), the Winter Soldier storyline is a much darker story. Here, check out the trailer:

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: American Hustle

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today, I get to post about a SECOND movie I want to see! This post is about the trailer for a new movie called "American Hustle".

The cast for this movie is amazing: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Laurence, Amy Adams, and Jeremy Renner! Just for that alone this movie is worth watching! Here, check out the trailer:

Movies I'd Like To See: The Book Thief

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "The Book Thief".

In this film, we get to explore a story that takes place during the escalation of WWII in Germany, from the point of view of actual Germans. No, not the Nazis, but the actual German folks just trying to get through their days without getting killed by the Nazis. Here, check out the trailer:

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Top 10 Favorite Comedies...

While I'm on the subject of comedies and in the mood to make lists, I've decided to give you, my dear readers, my top 10 favorite comedy films! Don't you feel lucky? Don't you just feel special?? Like all gooey and yummy inside? Really? Well, you may want to see a doctor about that. I'm just saying... Anyway, for those of you who just started reading this blog, let me tell you what my definition of favorite is. No, there is too much, let me sum up: A movie is a favorite when you'd be willing to watch it no matter WHAT mood you're in. Depressed, sad, happy, mad, whatever, if this movie pops up on On Demand or regular TV, you'd give it some serious thought to just sitting down and watching it. THAT is a favorite.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: Robocop (2014)

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Robocop". Here, check out the trailer:

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

New Fall TV 2013 P2

Everyone who knows me knows that my favorite time of year is the Fall. I usually wax poetic about the colors changing and the characteristic weather of the Fall, but there's one thing about this season that usually goes unmentioned: the new shows of the Fall TV season!! Right around this time is where all the major broadcast TV networks debut new shows to the world! Brand new worlds, which the networks hope will light new fires in the minds of their audiences, step out onto the stage and get their chance to shine! Now this year, I'm going a step back and sharing with you the shows I'm interested in BEFORE they air! Here is Part 2 of the NEW shows I'm looking forward to this fall season!

New Fall TV 2013 P1

Everyone who knows me knows that my favorite time of year is the Fall. I usually wax poetic about the colors changing and the characteristic weather of the Fall, but there's one thing about this season that usually goes unmentioned: the new shows of the Fall TV season!! Right around this time is where all the major broadcast TV networks debut new shows to the world! Brand new worlds, which the networks hope will light new fires in the minds of their audiences, step out onto the stage and get their chance to shine! Now this year, I'm going a step back and sharing with you the shows I'm interested in BEFORE they air! Here are the NEW shows I'm looking forward to this fall season!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Thoughts On... The 2013 VMAs

I have always known that I had a disconnect with current popular music, but every once awhile I get a reminder. My most recent reminder came last night as I watched the 2013 VMAs with my roommate. And now the next day, I have to thank Kevin Hart, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry. Without them, I would not have made it through the entirety of the broadcast without my roommate strangling me with her blanket.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Thoughts On... Ben Affleck As Batman

The problem with being a vocal fan of anything is when something big happens everyone reports it to you and then they sit back and wait to see if you explode (either positively or negatively). I am a vocal fan of Batman. While I'm smart enough to see past the haze and recognize the comic character's flaws, there is still an attractive quality about the story of the man who would be a superhero. Since Warner Bros. announced the news yesterday, a whole slew of my friends have taken it upon themselves to let me know that Ben Affleck has been cast as Batman in Zack Snyder's "Batman Vs Superman" movie.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Top 5... Offensive Comedies

Everyone loves to laugh. We may all differ in what we find funny, but we all love to laugh. Me included. One of the things that is as universal to humans as humor is inappropriate or offensive humor. The stuff that we find funny that society says we shouldn't. For example, the eclairs scene in Van Wilder. Yes, it was disgusting and almost vomit worthy, but it was funny! Society says that we shouldn't laugh at things like that, but we all do anyway. We just don't admit it out loud. Except for me, obviously, since I'm posting this on the internet.

But it did get me thinking, out of all the offensive comedies I've seen (mostly thanks to certain friends of mine), which were my favorites? The ones that I'd be down to watch again, or recommend to people in need of a good laugh. And I came up with my top 5. I know you're dying to find out, my dear readers, so without further ado... Here they are!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Movies I'd Like To See: Saving Mr. Banks

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this new series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Saving Mr. Banks".

Today we get a Tom Hanks twofer! You know that I'm a fan of Tom Hanks, but what you may not know is that I'm also a fan of Disney's Mary Poppins! But before we get to that, check out the trailer:

Movies I Want To See: Captain Phillips

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this new series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Today's post is about the trailer for a new movie called "Captain Phillips".

Tom Hanks is a great actor in my opinion. From the moment when I first saw him in Splash, he has done nothing but solid, exemplary work in every film I've ever seen him in. So when I hear about a new project with Tom Hanks, it immediately grabs my attention. And, it's based on a true story!! Here, check out the trailer for yourself:

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My New Desktop PC - Full System

It's actually really surprising how quickly one can put together a desktop system once the choice of processor is made. I thought it was going to be a long and arduous process of pouring through an endless series of websites reading part specifications, combing through marketing and sales jargon to get the tiny nuggets of real information, and reading TONS of user reviews to see which pieces really stand the test of not only time but also usage. Well, as it turns out, I actually did all that stuff, but it went a LOT faster than I thought it would.

I must admit, I did have a little help from my friends, but at the end of the day, the part choices were mine. And so I have completed the part choices for my new desktop PC. As an added bonus, I've also listed the prices for all the parts and a cost summary at the end of this post. And now, without further ado, here are the specs for my new desktop PC:

Monday, August 12, 2013

Medical Update: Unexpected Good news...

This morning I got some unexpected good news from a medical standpoint. It turns out that I'm further along in one of my goals than I had originally thought. See, this past weekend, I had to run a great deal of errands. One of which was going up my old stomping grounds (a.k.a. Manchester, NH) to access my storage area. I was on the hunt for my scale. Now, you might wonder why I would go on a 30 min drive to Manchester to get something I could buy for $20 at my local Wal-Mart. Well, the issue here is, most scales that are regularly available for under $1K can only measure weights up to 300lbs. As you know, my dear readers, that I clock in the 400-500lb range, at the moment. So, regular scales don't really work for me. It took me a few months to find one that could measure up to 550lbs and be able to afford it. Hence the quest to Manchester to get this amazing artifact.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Movies I Want To See: The Counselor

We all love going to the movies. We all love seeing the screen come alive with great characters, epic story lines, and mind-blowing action. But another thing about going to movies that we love is seeing the trailers for the movies that are on the horizon. Now, in the Information Age, there are TONS of trailers out there, but every once in awhile you get a trailer that really lights you up and sets that fire in your brain. Showcasing the trailers that do that for me is the point of this new series of posts called "Movies I Want To See". Now, there are many things that will attract me to a movie: story, characters, actors, directors, producers, etc.  A movie where any ONE of these aspects catches my eye is worth a bit more attention. But every once in awhile you get a perfect storm that makes a movie simply irresistible. Recently, I went to see "Red 2" and I saw the trailer for the next movie one of my favorite directors has up his sleeve. Check out the talent connected to ONE FILM:

Favorite Books: Ender's Game

It's been a long while (over TWO YEARS) since I've written about a series of books that I love. Just recently, I was reminded of a book series that I still cherish to this day when I found out that the film based on the first book in the series had just released a trailer. The name of the series? The Ender Saga. I don't actually remember the first time I read "Ender's Game", but I do remember why it appealed to me. The story of the book is a simple one: In the far future, humanity has had two wars with an alien race known as "Buggers" and we barely survived. We know a third war is coming, and the Battle School was created to prepare a new class of soldiers and military leaders. The story follows Ender as he is drafted into Battle School and follows his career through both Battle School and the more advanced Command School. We see the emotional and physical consequences of Ender's going through the qualification process, the effect his drafting has on his family, and the role the adults surrounding Ender play in his development. And we get all this, almost the ENTIRE STORY,  through the mind of Ender himself.

Friday, August 2, 2013

My New Desktop PC - The Processor


I've been doing research on what I need to purchase to build my next desktop. For those you who don't know, you can actually get a higher quality machine for roughly the same price as a PC purchased at a retail store if you build your machine. Please understand, I only recommend this for ADVANCED users. If you can't reliably speak about things like BUS speeds, processor cores, or L1/L2 caches, then DO NOT try to build a machine on your own. GET EXPERIENCED HELP. I'm serious. I blew up $500 worth of electronic equipment when I built my first PC because I didn't know what I was doing and connected things incorrectly. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! That was two months of saved paychecks at the time. Talk to any Tech nerd, and they will ALL give you stories of badly built systems either frying out instantly or with a couple of months of being built.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Thoughts On... Goals

Everyone has goals in their life; things they want to either get done, or simply get. For most people, those goals are nebulous.(Get rich.) For a few people, including myself, goals are concrete. (Get a 2004 Dodge Durango.) The problem with non-concrete goals is that without a fixed point to shoot for, it's difficult to come up with a plan to get there. Take for example, the goal "get rich". What do you mean "rich"? How much money counts as rich? Give a homeless man $100, and in his mind, he's rich. For a long time, my goals were all nebulous. Then I got set straight by several people along the course of my life, and I re-worked my constantly evolving list of life goals into specific concrete items I can achieve. I even accomplished one this past weekend! See my previous post for the details. We all know that life isn't just a simple check list of events and achievements, so writing down some stuff and working to make that stuff happen isn't really going to cut it.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Life Notes: Current Updates...

I'm sure you've noticed, my dear readers, that there has been a slight change in my profile. Yep, that's right. I am no longer living in Manchester, NH! This past weekend, I took up a friend on her offer of a room in her house and moved down to Lawrence, MA!! Why did I move? Well, there are several reasons. The first is my commute. While living in NH and working in MA seems like a fun idea, having to travel 2.5 hours to work EACH WAY is not a good way to spend your time. I basically had NO LIFE during the week, since by the time I got home, I only had 2 hours to cook dinner and make lunch before I had to get to bed to be up on time for the next day. The second is my health. After my recent health issues, I decided to work on taking my health much more seriously. But with my commute, there wasn't anything I could do. I simply had NO TIME to do anything outside of my routine. Third was to help out friends and family.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Thoughts On... This Blog's Name

For a little while now, I've been getting some weird feedback about my blog. Not about the content, but about the name. Yeah, the NAME! Seriously, why is the name of a blog important?? Who really cares about what some nerd names his blog anyway, right? Well, as it turns out, some of my readers care. Which is, in a weird way, very touching. Not only do I have readers, but they care enough about the blog to actually want to make it BETTER! *sniff* I promised myself I wouldn't cry. *sniff, sniff* Now, the reason I called this blog "Deliberations of Dilking" is because Dilking is a shortened version of my middle name, Dilkingson. (Don't ask. It's a long story.) However, it turns out that "dilking" is an actual term with a particularly negative meaning according to the Urban Dictionary. Check it out:

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Thoughts on... Writing Code

One of the things I almost NEVER write about on here is computers. I never really made a conscious choice about it, but now that I think about it, I figure that most people just wouldn't be interested in a post about the latest tech thing I saw or piece of code I wrote. Granted, not that many people are interested in this blog AT ALL, but to lose the few readers I have due to boring content would be completely and irrevocably stupid. Which, in a bizarre kind of  way, is the exact point of this blog post. Recently, I read a couple of blog posts about programming and people. Specifically, they were about programming and whether or not everyone can do it. It all started with this video created by a company called Code.org.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Life Notes: Current Updates...

I'm getting really tired of saying this, but it's been about a month since I've posted on here and I have a very good reason why. See, I had a bunch of really good posts lined up for the month of June, but right at the beginning of the second week of June, I ended up having to go to the hospital for two weeks. Those of you who have been reading my so called blog for an extended period of time, know about the ongoing health issue I've had for the past couple of years: gall stones. Well, I had another major attack... again. Only THIS time, things played out a little differently. But, let's start at the beginning: Memorial Day weekend.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Details on the shows I watch...

Ever since I put up the post about how many TV shows I follow, people have been asking me how in the hell I can watch all these shows? Don't I have a job? Well there are a several factors that help me out with this. First, I don't have a girlfriend/wife calling for me to spend time with her, or kids to wrangle. I don't go out drinking or partying. In fact, most of my free time is spent at home. Take a moment and think about how much time you spend having dinner with your partner's family, or going out to do something they want to do. Or entertaining guests, or watching sports. Have you got it all? Now, add up all that time and then fill it with nothing but TV shows and you'll get an idea not only of how to get it done, but also how I pass most of my days.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Thoughts On... Magic: The Gathering

If you've been reading my blog for any significant length of time, you should know that I am very much a fan of magic and sorcery based entertainment. In a previous post, I delved deeply into why it appeals to me so I won't go into that again. Last week, I was directly exposed to a new avenue of said entertainment, namely the trading card game known as Magic: The Gathering.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Life Notes: Current Updates...

About a week before starting my current job, I was pulled over and given a ticket for not having my car inspected. Then I got the job, and with all the craziness about figuring out the commute, starting the job, learning my duties, switching my sleep schedule, etc. I forgot to pay it. Actually, I thought I had already paid it. But looking at my records now, I realize that I didn't pay it. I simply forgot. A couple months go by and the DMV suspends my license and registration because I didn't pay the ticket or the fines. Notice how I didn't say they sent me any letters or anything. They just went ahead and suspended me.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Thoughts On.. How Much TV I Actually Watch

I am an unapologetic aficionado of movies, and TV. Look over the posts on this blog and you'll see that a disproportionate number of my posts have to do with television in some form or another. But it's not just about watching the shows, I talk about them, think about the themes presented in them, etc... A recent conversation with a friend of mine got me to thinking about how many shows I actually watch. So, I decided to make a list.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Thoughts On... The Constitution

I am not a political junkie. I am not someone who follows all the news all the time, and I certainly do not have intimate knowledge of the finer points of the law. Therefore, I ask you to forgive me when I tell you that I just recently (within the last year or so) found out about an idea floating about that the Constitution of the United States needs, in writer's terminology, a "page one re-write". This means that there are those out there who think the Constitution needs to be re-written from scratch to meet the issues being brought up by modern day society. And, to be quite honest, I find this idea EXTREMELY provocative.

Think about the argument for this: The Constitution was written by people who lived over 200 years ago. Think about how life has changed in that time. There was no electricity, no cars, no internet, no phones, no regular running water, no supermarkets, etc. How could those men foresee issues like digital copyright laws? Or Nuclear weapons? Computer hacking? Privacy? At the time that the founding fathers wrote out the Constitution, the life we have now would have been seen as fairy tales and the height of science fiction. They weren't psychics. How could they write laws or even fathom the moral implications of stem cell research? Nano technology? Climate change? These concepts, while completely beyond the realm of their thinking at the time, are providing challenges to our society today. Do we really turn to laws written so long ago?

I mean, the founding fathers knew their limitations, and they built the system of the Constitution to be adaptable and changeable to needs of an evolving country. They had to, because at the time, they had NO IDEA where the United States would go. But there is a limit to how much the Constitution can change and adapt, right? At a certain point, one has to see the Constitution as just an old, outdated set of laws that should be updated for modern times, right?

I can sum up my opinion on this in two words: HELL NO!

The Constitution is MORE that just a set of rules. We all know that life is more complex than any simple set of rules can possibly cover. So, the founding fathers didn't just write a set of rules that this country has to follow to the point of dogma. They infused the laws they wrote with an underlying philosophy. What we now call the "spirit of the law" as opposed to the "letter of the law". A philosophy that is so pervasive the founding fathers could not conceive of the after-effects creating it would cause and also so subtle, they had no idea the areas in which they fell short of their own creation. That philosophy, that spirit is one of tolerance, freedom, openness to debate, and a recognition that societies MUST evolve and change to survive, but in doing so, in making those changes, CAN NOT forget the reasons for which they exist.

Over time, we have analyzed and researched and delved into that philosophy and gained a deeper understanding of it. Realizing the errors of claiming a free society and still having slaves. Understanding the conflict in being of, for, and by the people and not letting women partake in their own government. And we still have more challenges ahead of us: gay rights, gun control, being more intricately connected to other countries than EVER before are just SOME of those challenges. And yet, the traditions written by our forefathers still apply 200 years later. In this ever changing world, those rules, still work.

Now, I will grant you, my dear readers, that we have stepped far away from that underlying philosophy. In a sense, that leads to my second issue with this. I mean, our those traditions have been used as vulnerabilities against us, by forces outside AND INSIDE our nation. Think about that for a moment. If we do have a full rewrite of our constitution, who does the writing? In an era where we can't trust our politicians to do anything right, or on time; where we are in fear of losing the basic rights assigned to us by the Constitution, who do we trust to re-write the DNA of the United States?

Put it another way: who do we trust, as a nation, to re-write what is and isn't legally allowed in a country that has one of the  most FEARSOME NUCLEAR ARSENALS on the planet? A country that has a budget for defense greater than the next 20+ countries on the list (most of which are our friends)? Who do YOU want to rebuild the core, fundamental ideas that will define what the United State of America will stand for over the NEXT 200 years?

From a political perspective, the founding fathers, in creating the Constitution, gave the world the political Big Bang. They formed an entirely new universe of political thinking that has worked, with adaptation and amending, for 200+ years. And now, people want to essentially re-write the laws of political physics? I don't think that's a good idea. It's too dangerous for the global stage, and I don't trust any of the people who would be doing the re-writes.

What do you think, my dear readers? Sound off in the comments below!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Eternal Arguments... Televison Preferences

Once when I was in college, I told a classmate that I was a big fan of the X-Files. My classmate then asked me if it was just because the lead actress (Gillian Anderson) was hot. Boy, was asking THAT question a mistake! I went on a 45 minute rant on all the things I LOVED about the show that had absolutely NOTHING to do with Gillian Anderson's hotness. (Any one of my friends can tell you about being on the receiving end of those rants, my dear readers. While *I* enjoy them, it seems that NO ONE ELSE does.) Since then, that particular accusation has been levied at me dozens of times by friends, co-workers, even random strangers that get caught up in my conversations because we're stuck in line for a movie. Yes, that has happened to me. A LOT.

The most recent person to levy this accusation was my sister. (Granted, this was about a year ago, but still.) Despite my best interests, I couldn't make her understand that I don't care about the attractiveness of actresses. It's Hollywood, EVERYONE there is good looking. I bring this topic up because of a show I tested to see if I would enjoy watching the show enough to really invest in it. The show is called Rogue and stars a favorite actress of mine, Thandie Newton (Mission Impossible 2, Crash, Chronicles of Riddick). And before you ask, yes, I find Thandie Newton to be a very attractive woman.

Isn't she gorgeous?

In the show, Newton plays an undercover cop whose son is killed and becomes obsessed with finding his killer. It seemed like an interesting premise. Usually a concept like that gets one episode or maybe a two part ep on another series, not its own series, so I thought I'd check it out. In my pre-watch research, I found out that Thandie Newton was cast as the cop, Grace Travis. Given the movies I've seen her in, I was encouraged by her choosing to work on the show. An actress of this caliber doesn't choose second rate material. So, I decided to watch the two part pilot episode.

When I watched the show, I found out that the main villain of the show was played by Marton Csokas (xXx, LOTR, Bourne Supremacy) this was even MORE encouraging. But as I watched the show, I found myself not connecting with the characters; not empathizing with the mother who just lost her child. Since this is the main emotional point of the show, this was disheartening. By the middle of the show, I was getting bored. Now this being a non US based show, the producers threw in a curve ball: a nude scene with Ms. Newton. I was surprised since I had NEVER even heard of Ms. Newton doing any nudity in her work. But it was a quick overhead shot in the shower, so it wasn't really a big deal. I kept watching, hoping to find SOMETHING worthwhile to get me invested in the show.


But, by the three quarter mark, there was nothing. I didn't care that the mom spent a whole 4 months obsessing over her child's death while the father seemed to have gotten over it. I didn't care that the obsession isolated the mom from her daughter. I didn't care when the mom blew her cover and then told the truth to save her life. And when she went back home and started a rough sex scene with her husband (again with all the nudity that implies, remember this is a NON-U.S. show), I TURNED OFF THE SHOW.

Yes, you read that right.

In the middle of a sex scene with a woman I find very attractive, while she was doing nudity for what I think is the first time ever, I WAS BORED. There was no interest whatsoever. I stopped the show, erased it from my computer and watched the latest episode of Criminal Minds. A show about hunting down serial killers that has no nudity whatsoever, but a great deal of blood, violence, and death; THAT is what I chose over watching a hot actress getting topless and screwing. That is my proof.


 I don't care about the attractiveness of actresses. I care about their talent. Their ability to make me suspend my disbelief long enough to get me emotionally invested in the story they are trying to tell, or the philosophy a show presents, the world they offer me a glimpse into, or at the very least, the PEOPLE whose lives they offer me to watch. And if I don't care about any of that, I won't watch the show. I won't even finish an episode!


Please, my dear readers, tell me that at least ONE of you understands where I'm coming from on this. Sound off in the comments below.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Thoughts On... Envy

One of the things I like about the bulk of the tv shows I watch is that they all spur some kind of meta thinking in me. Just a few days ago, I watched an episode of Big Bang Theory. In that episode, one of the main characters had a fit of envy that ended up ruining a romantic dinner with her boyfriend. I'm not going to get into the details of the event, but it did get me thinking about envy, both as a general concept and the last time I really felt envy.

Now, let's get something straight off the bat. I'm talking about envy, NOT jealousy. While everyone seems to think they are interchangeable, they aren't. Jealousy is the fear of losing something or someone that you're attached to or possess to someone else. Like losing a girlfriend to another guy. Envy is the resentment that you feel when someone has something that you want, but don't have. Understood? GOOD. There'll be a test afterwards. Now, getting back to the point.

The last time I felt real envy was a few months ago, and it lasted all of 45 seconds. See, a few months ago, I found out that a friend of mine has a very singular talent. When he sings, he has the ability to turn women to mush. I've seen it on multiple occasions. He'll start singing and every woman in the room, regardless of age, turns her focus directly on him. Within moments, they get the glassy eyes, start breathing shallowly and slowly, and lose all conscious recognition of anything else but him and his singing. You could bowl them over with a feather.

Watching this happen right before your eyes, the effect is frightening at first. But then you realize the power that has. You could sing your way into the heart of ANY girl you wanted. No chance of rejection of any kind. What a power! And it's WASTED on a guy who is already married!!! And here's where the envy started. I spent a good 30 seconds (which for ME is a long time) focused on the injustice of it all. Why should a married guy get the power to wilt all women? He already has one! With my bad luck with women, a power like that... and so on.. I spent the next ten seconds listing out all the women I could have had as girlfriends if I'd had this power. I went so far back as to my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Butler. (Yeah, she was hot!) At the 40 second mark, my rational side kicked in and stopped the whole mental rant with two questions.

"Isn't the point of music, according to you, to dance and party? Isn't that why you hate slow songs?" 

I then spent the last 5 seconds with the envy fading in my mind as my rational side brought up how BORING it would be to be up there singing the same slow songs over and over again. Not being able to do anything up tempo, to get the blood moving. And reliving all the times I performed with my bands and got that adrenaline rush when the crowd connects with the energy you throw out and the performance just intensifies taking you for a ride that no drug could EVER match.

And I came to the realization that I never really wanted the power my friend had. Getting women to melt over me, while sounding good, wasn't what I really wanted musically. I wanted the groove. I wanted the ability to start a song up and by the end have everyone on their feet dancing and moving to the music I was making. And that, I already have. After that, I enjoyed the rest of my friend's performance and rejoiced with him as all the women listening started fanning themselves and started taking deep breaths to calm down. Later on, I got up to sing. People danced. And all was right in the world!

See that's the sneaky thing about envy that they don't cover in Sunday school when they talk about Envy and the six other deadly sins. It has nothing to do with the person you're jealous of in any way. It has to do with a weakness or flaw you see in yourself. So you want the thing the other person has not because of the thing's inherent value, but because it will remove the flaw you see in yourself and restore you to the perfection you had before. A lot of people don't get over that and cause themselves, and others, a lot of pain. They never really understand that having flaws and not being perfect is a major component of what makes us human.

In the end, the only real way to get over envy is to truly understand what you want for yourself and enjoy those things with the knowledge that they are just things and not ways to fix flaws that no one else can see.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Must Post More....

A good friend of mine and an avid reader of this blog (I know! I was surprised to find I have avid readers, too!), has requested that I post more on here. Well, you have to give your audience a little of what they want or you'll lose them, so I shall endeavor to post more!

I think I have a couple of ideas on what I should do, so look for at least TWO more posts before end of day, Saturday of this week (4/13/2013).

WOO HOO!!

If you have any ideas on what you think I should write about, please let me know in the comments below!

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Walking Dead: Rick & Morgan...

So, thanks to my new job, I've been falling behind on some of my shows. One of these is The Walking Dead (TWD) . I'm still an episode behind. (I fell asleep before I could watch the season finale.) But I wanted to talk to you about one of my favorite episodes this season. The episode is called: "Clear", where the show finally answers the question that fans have been asking since the first episodes of the show: What happened to Morgan??

For those of you who don't know, TWD is a show about life after a zombie apocalypse. Based on a comic series of the same name, the story follows a band of people lead by former Sheriff Rick Grimes, who just go through from place to place trying to find some kind of life while surviving zombies. In the first episode, Rick wakes up in the hospital after being shot in the line of duty and finds himself in a zombie apocalypse. He stumbles around trying to figure out what is going on and what happened to his family and friends. He runs into a man named Morgan and his son, Duane. Morgan gives Rick the 411 on what went down, and some tips & tricks on how to survive. Rick goes on a quest to find his family but gives Morgan a radio and tells him every day at dawn, he'll turn it on and broadcast a message for them. And that was it... For awhile, they had Rick on the radio talking to Morgan, in that journal, or diary kind of way. But that was the last we saw of Morgan. Until now.


If you haven't seen the ep, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER! THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD!!


Okay, I want you to understand, I don't watch shows on TV. I download the shows or watch them online. So, no television promos, no "Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode"... nothing. So, I had no idea that this episode was coming until I saw the story re-cap at the beginning and they showed Rick on the radio warning Morgan to stay out of Atlanta. (Don't worry about why. That's not important.) I was COMPLETELY blindsided by this ep.

One of my favorite book series has a saying in it: "How do you hurt a man who's lost everything? Give him something broken." This episode is a PERFECT example of that. It has been three seasons, but in the show it's only been about a year since Rick woke up to a world full of zombies. But in that time, he's gone through enough crap to make any 3 people go crazy and he has been cracking. Auditory and visual hallucinations, depression, and paranoia are just the beginning of what he's been experiencing. So walking into this ep, Rick is not in a stable place mentally. A few minutes into the ep, he runs into Morgan and gets a glimpse of what's further down the road he is on.

When we last saw Morgan, he had refused to kill his zombie wife. He was too good a man, and too in love with his wife to accept the fact that she was dead. Weeks later, Morgan and his son were on a supply run and came across her. In a moment where the boy was distracted, she killed and began feeding on her own son. It was only at that moment, that Morgan was able to finally shoot her, but it was too late. His son was dead. Eaten by his own mother, a moment that was made possible because Morgan didn't shoot her previously. His son was dead because he was too weak to do what he knew he had to when the time came. That realization broke him.

And hearing Morgan tell that story to Rick's face, seeing the shame Morgan felt for being such a good person, knowing that Rick would not have made it past his first night without Morgan's kindness... it was like getting knifed in the throat while being kidney punched full force by Mike Tyson in his prime. And despite all his pain, and the despair that Rick felt, you could see that he was hurt seeing Morgan like this. To his credit, Rick did try to help Morgan, to give him something to live for again. But Morgan already had a purpose.

He wasn't going to let that moment play out again. So, his purpose now: To Clear; To get rid of all the zombies everywhere. He no longer wanted, or deserved (in his own mind, anyway) anyone's help. In order to make up for the one time he didn't pull the trigger, he has to now kill all the zombies. And as Rick drives away, you see Morgan piling up his latest kills and getting ready to burn them.

The funny thing is, you would think that seeing Morgan like this would be the final nail in Rick's sanity. That not being able to reach Morgan and get him to accept help would shatter Rick's fragile psyche, but it didn't. In fact, it had the opposite effect. It seemed to have brought Rick out of the comfortable shell his insanity was building for him and reignited some spark of hope. Or at the very least, the will to resist.

And that is true irony in this ep. In Morgan's refusal to be the good man he once was, and resigning himself to the penance he thinks he deserves, he commits one "final" act in the vein of the man he was. The same act, in fact, that he did in the beginning of the show:


 He saves Rick Grimes.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Life Notes: Current News

Hello, my dear readers, here is an update on what's going on in my life. Due to budget constraints, I am no longer working at The GEM Group in Lawrence, MA. The parting was amicable, if a bit tearful. I really liked the people I worked with while I was there. That particular job ended on Dec 28th.

I spent 2 months unemployed...

Then I got another job as a Jr. Web Developer for The Aberdeen Group in Boston, MA! I'm at the tail end of my 3rd week here and I like this place! It's fun. I'm actually writing code again! Of course, with every great thing, there has to be a catch. And in this case, it's the commute. Getting from Manchester, NH to Boston, MA and back every day is NO JOKE. It's a 2-2.5 hour journey each way. And it's not just driving either! I drive from Manchester to Lawrence, MA (30-45min). Then I get the commuter rail train from Lawrence, to Boston (45min + 15min wait time) and then I take a shuttle from North Station to my job. At night, I get to do the whole thing again! Only in REVERSE!!! Man, does that suck!

I find that I'm always tired now. It's getting better, but my sleep schedule hasn't quite completely adjusted yet, so I'm still getting tired spots at random times during the day. But it's getting better. Right now, I'm looking for a place back in Lawrence, MA. This would reduce my commute to just about an hour long train ride. I would move closer to Boston, but the closer you get to the city, the higher the rent is. For the same price, I can get one bedroom in a 3 bedroom apt with 2 strangers in Boston, or an ENTIRE two bedroom apt in Lawrence. What would YOU choose?

So, I'm currently pooling money for first, last and security deposit, so when I find a place I can just plop the money down and move in with no hassles. (If you're in the Lawrence/Methuen area, let me know if you know any good places!)

In the meantime, I'm doing my thing. Working to catch up on my bills and save $ for moving.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Thoughts On... PS4

Okay, I just finished watching the live stream of Sony's PlayStation Meeting 2013, which was basically the official reveal of the PlayStation 4. (Good bye Orbis!) They covered a lot of ground and if you're into gaming at all, I'm sure you have TONS of gaming websites that will go over every single minute detail of the stream, so I won't go into any detail. Plus, I'm not a reporter so I have no idea how to properly cover an event like this. What I will do is give you my impression of the meeting. And I can do it in a word: EXCITING!

So here are the broad strokes: They covered the machine specs of the console, debuted the final version of the PS4 Dualshock controller, talked about the overall design philosophy behind the PS4's creation, They had some game demos, some engine demos, and a couple of major announcements.


I like the new DualShock 4 controller. It looks wider, which is awesome cause I have HUGE hands. The drawback is that with the new Touchpad on the controller, I might have issues accessing features of the game by accident. I guess we'll have to see. They also integrated the PlayStation "Move" tech into the controller now, which I find.. interesting. It looks like they got rid of the "Start" and "Select" buttons, but I like the idea of the "Share" button. Which brings us to the philosophy of the PS4.

Despite the awesome technical stuff discussed and displayed at the meeting, I found myself most captivated by the philosophy of the PS4. The Lead PS4 system architect, Mark Cerny, stated that the development of the next gen console started 5 years ago, but they seemed to have tapped into a lot of really current ideas. Some stuff was expected, like game integration across all types of devices. (The DriveClub segment covered some interesting ideas on that front with the idea of racing in teams, and using apps to affect other parts of the game or create challenges for others to play.) What was most interesting for me is the idea of social integration into what Cerny called "the PlayStation ecosystem".

I like the idea of being able to easily share videos of my game play with friends (Most likely to help me out with whatever part I can't seem to beat), play games while they are downloading, and testing out games without downloading or paying for them. (That little tidbit was the only part of the whole conference that referred in any way to money. Again, interesting.) The coolest part was being to be a spectator, and watch the games my friends are playing (if they are broadcasting) and possibly jump in and help. For someone who is a hermit, I was actually impressed with the social media aspects of the PS4.


The game demos were cool. I'm loving "Watch_Dogs" more every time I see it. And, it looks like it will be available for PS3 and PS4. There's a new KillZone game coming for the PS4 which looked pretty awesome. Actually, so did the next Infamous game, Second Son. I was impressed with "The Witness" an upcoming puzzle game which reminded me a lot of Myst. But what really impressed me weren't the game demos per se, but the details in what I was seeing.

I have a background in computer programming, not game programming exactly, but I know about writing software. And as a developer myself, I know how difficult certain things are to create. I was truly amazed at the level of detail displayed in the game demos, but more in the ENGINE demos. The level of power to create such believable real time lighting effects while handling things like millions of particles flying around AND handling character movement and animation is simply astonishing.  Quantic Dream really FLOORED me with their new engine. I also LOVED Capcom's "Deep Down" demo. Again, the handling of the particulates was fantastic, but what really got me was the dragon fire. The flame was so fluid, and smooth; it was impressive.

There were several announcements, but the biggest one was the at the very end. The PS4 is coming for the holidays 2013. What they DIDN'T say is for how much. Or what the PS4 actually look like. All in all, the live stream was 2 hours of interesting stuff, and what they covered was interesting. And what they DIDN'T cover was also interesting. It looks like E3 is going to be a major battleground this year. As for this year's holidays, we'll see if I can afford to get a PS4. I might wait awhile on that.


If you saw the live stream, my dear readers, what did YOU think??

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Thoughts On... The Best Kiss Of My Life (so far)

I don't know about you, my dear readers, but at the beginning of every new year, I find myself looking back on things. Not really for nostalgia purposes, although that does come into play a little bit, but more for life assessment on the order of "this is where I am, and that's how I got here". It comes in really handy for planning goals and the like for the upcoming year. At any rate, this particular post is about one distinctly interesting trip down memory lane I took after a discussion I had at a party I attended recently, with a friend on the topic of kissing. She was semi-drunk and doing most of the talking. I was mostly just trying to keep her from falling over.

After she passed out, I found myself thinking of the relatively small amount of romantic kissing I've done, what was MY greatest kiss? It turns out that the award for single best kiss of my life (so far) goes to my first girlfriend, Amanda. No, it wasn't our first kiss. That would just be too trite. Actually, this story is about a random kiss somewhere in the first month that Amanda (or Manne, as she liked to be called back then) and I were together. No, this kiss was special for a different reason. But first some background info: As you know my dear readers, I've always regarded my mind as my most precious resource.



One of my mind's greatest talents (and flaws from a certain viewpoint) is the ability to keep track of many different thought processes simultaneously. The drawback to this talent is that, at times, I find it difficult to keep focus on a single task due to all the competing and conflicting ideas floating in my head, vying for my attention. To be honest, a good portion of the women I meet I can't interact with because they just can't hold my interest. But Amanda was different, she was smart, creative, goofy and beautiful. Looking back on it now, our relationship was MAJORLY dysfunctional, but at the time it was awesome!!

Anyways, back to the story: One of my favorite places to hang out in college was this lounge area in McCullough Hall that was just past the main hall/stage area. There were some very comfortable chairs and a huge TV there. One day, I was hanging in the lounge and Amanda happened to be walking by, saw me, and came over to talk. As all new couples do, within a few minutes we were kissing. We had kissed before and it had been awesome. Electric, even. But this time it was different.

Our lips met, and my mind shut down. There were no other thoughts, there was no alternate ideas, no random problems from schoolwork that I was still trying to solve. My mind was perfectly still and in the moment. And all of my considerable intellect was focused on her. Her taste, her scent, the warmth of her breath, her hair brushing against my face; every aspect of my mind was taken up with her. Nothing else existed. The truth of reality at that instant was that she and I were the only occupants of the universe. It was with that kiss that I knew not only that I loved her (which wasn't really anything new, I had been in love with other women before), but that she loved me in return. (THAT was the part that was new. No one had EVER loved me BACK before her).

In real time, the kiss lasted maybe a minute. Ninety seconds at the longest. Subjectively, that kiss lasted for hours. Eventually, we came up for air. She had to go somewhere and said good bye. And that was it. The single best kiss of my life so far. As of this blog post, I've only ever had two girlfriends. The interesting part is that I had a similar experience with my next girlfriend. It wasn't nearly as powerful as it was with Amanda, but strong enough that I think that's my sign.

If I kiss a girl and feel anywhere close to the way I felt during that kiss with Amanda, I am sure that we are in love.