Friday, October 30, 2009

The Friend Zone

I'm in a select subset of the male population. I have no problem with female friends. In fact, I've got TONS of female friends. They actually OUTNUMBER my guy friends. And all of these women are very beautiful. It's really cool, but at the same time, it kind of sucks. Think about this for a minute, at any given moment, I'm surrounded by any number of gorgeous women who see me as a sexless entity, a good buddy, someone to talk to, etc. It's like crawling through the desert, just to be shown a PICTURE of a glass of water.

If the late, great Rod Serling were to write an intro to a show about this, it might go something like this:

You're about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a torturous land whose boundaries are that of temptation. It is the middle ground between amity and lust, between camaraderie and romance, and it lies between the pit of woman's empathy and the summit of her passion. This is the dimension of benevolence. The signpost up ahead states your destination, you're about to enter…

The problem is, like Roach Motels, once you check in to the Friend Zone, it seems you can't check out. The only egress is to NOT go in. But how do you avoid that?

If you all have any ideas, let me know.


  1. I wish I could help there, but I have no clue what the solution is for your problem. I'm friends with more women than men, too. But I've never secretly wanted to "get" with any of them. So I don't think I'd qualify for an episode of The Friend Zone!!! They're just friends who happen to be women, in my case.

    I'm no dating sage, but seems to me the problem is not with you but the women you are choosing to pin your hopes on. They're is really no such thing as a Friend Zone. Most relationships between men and women begin with some kernel of friendship, obviously. But if the woman likes the guy beyond just friendship, she'll let it grow until the relationship is something more. Yet if she likes the guy but doesn't find him romantically attractive, she'll want to keep it at just the friends stage and leave it at that.

    Then, of course, there are those select few women who enjoy the attention and stringing guys along for the thrill of being someone's center of the universe. I'm not saying you know anyone like that. But you might . . .

  2. Oh boy!!! Where to begin???? I understand what mr. Batista is trying to say, but unfortunately, and this is IMHO, he's wrong. There is such a thing as a friend zone, and if it's true that mr. Batista has more friends of the female persuation than male, then maybe he should ask them. Ask 1, ask all, they will all undoubtedly let you know that there is such a thing as a friend zone. Also, every woman, actually, let me be clear on this, EVERY WOMAN wants to be the center of someone's universe and WILL string that someone along. It's human nature unfortunately. Anyone that has had someone crushing on them, and didn't have those feelings in return, but stayed friends, is stringing the crushee along, even if it's unintentional, it happens. Now, as for your problem my brother, I'm going to let you in on the secret that every asshole knows but every nice guy can't bring himself to do. You know what it is, that's right, you have to be an ass to women. Not all the time, not overboard, but every woman, it seems, again IMHO, is raised incorrectly. For some reason beyond comprehension, women attribute being an asshole to being a protective man. Even if the woman knows that you are the greatest man to ever live, if you're not an ass, you're not a complete man. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure that some women will say that I'm incorrect, or that I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm 100% correct, and unfortunately, I know what I'm talking about. You see, I'm what you call a metrosexual, and being as such, I've named myself the guy that sees both sides. I know, I know, I don't have a pussy, but does it count if I act like one, LOL? Every women is raised incorrectly simply because women are taught that they can have what ever they want because they have a pussy, and do you know who teaches them that? Us men do. I know that women are as insecure as men, but they don't need sex like we do, so they use that to their advantage. Again, so that I don't offend anyone, this is just an opinion, that I believe is 100% correct. Rodney, that first thing I would do, and this is very important, is stop saying that the female friends you have are very beautiful. I've seen some of them, they are not very beautiful, actually some of them are quite fugly and most are average. You may have that one friend, like most guys, that is very beautiful and barely gives you the time of day when it comes to matters of the heart, her heart for others, not for you of course, but other than that, I can tell you with quite a high level of certainty, that most of your female friends are average. Now, before I start getting hate mail, not that I'm that important, or that anyone is going to read this, let me say that I do agree with you when you say that every woman is beautiful. But, every man is too. We are all equal in the game of love. You have to stop being gaga over these so called friends of yours because if they were truly your friends, they would've/will let you know that what I'm saying is true. They will shrug and say yeah, he's right, unfortunately, we do think like that. Now there's a woman that I would love to meet. That woman I would gladly fall in love with and give my soul to, but she does not exist, sincerely anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that men are raised correctly either, all I'm saying is that you are putting the pussy on a pedastal, so to speak, and it doesn't belong there. It belongs wrapped around your dick. That's true, no ifs, ands, or buts about it, every pussy, even a lesbian one, was built to have a dick in it, why not yours?

  3. Why is their pussy so great that it belongs on a pedastal, but your dick doesn't? That's your problem, you think that you're not attractive, so you're comparing all these friends of yours to you, and what you believe is beautiful. You know what's beautiful? You are!! Reaching out to your friends and anyone else that will give you the time of day, bearing your soul to find out what's wrong with you, when you know nothing's wrong with you. You're one of the most intelligent men I've ever met and for those of you that don't know me, that's saying a lot. You know me Rodman, I'm not here to bullshit you, or entertain you.... Well, maybe a little entertainment, but it doesn't mean that I'm lying. Stop thinking that these women have more to offer than you do, they don't. If you ask me, they're the ones that are unattractive and ugly, because if the way they judge beauty is by looks and not by how you make them feel, laugh, cry, and comfort them, then fuck them. I know, it means nothing to you because you're lonely, so start where I told you to start. Be an ass!! You're not getting pussy either way, so have fun with it. Fun, remember, it's what you and I have everytime we go in public and have everyone look at us because we start making spectacles of ourselves and end up being awesome. You have a lot to offer, don't sell yourself short. It'll take a while, but if you do what I say, we'll have a totally different blog in 1-2 years. It'll be something like, how do I tell these bitches that I'm not interested in shallow humans without hurting their feelings or making them feel bad that they sucked my dick first, LOL. By the way, I love women, I do, I just wish that you would stop lying to yourselves and understand that you're no more special than anyone or anything else in this world. Trust me, you can rule the world with that pussy, but until you women understand that you're all idiots and need masive amounts of cum down your throats, then you'll always be second to us men, because at least, we know we're full of shit, we don't hide it. We try, but very unsuccessfully. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, mrs. Lewinsky" Come on, seriously, She was gorgeous, and do you know why she was gorgeous, because she SUCKED DICK!! Not because of anything else. Ladies, be that beautiful, even more beautiful if you swallow, can I get an Amen!! But seriously, LOL, men and women are the same, no difference at all. We are all just trying to connect and have fun. So remember Rodman, have fun, "don't take life to seriously, you'll never get out alive".