In keeping with the dark, twisted holiday themes of my life, I have compiled a list of my favorite holiday movies. These are the movies that have kept me sane (or what passes for sane for me) over the years during these festive, family focused frivolities. Before we get to the actual list, I want to give props to a couple of flicks that were good, but didn't rank high enough to make the list. First of the honorable mentions is Death Race. This one would have made the list except that most of the stuff that shows it takes place during the holidays is only on the Unrated version. Second, is The Addams Family which almost made the list on the strength of its opening scene of festive carolers about to be drenched in boiling liquid by the The Addamses! The master touch was the switch in the music from Christmas carol to The Addams Family theme.
And now, here are my top ten favorite holiday movies.
10) Black Christmas (2006) - Christmas horror movies abound, but most of them focus on making the icons of the holiday evil, and there's only so many times I can watch Santa kill people before it gets old. This movie felt more like what my life would be like if I were caucasian and a serial killer. I'm already mentally deranged. One out of three ain't bad, right?
09) Nightmare Before Christmas - I always though this was a cool concept. The rituals of Christmas as interpreted by Halloween. This would have been higher, but a bunch of the songs are kind of annoying after the first viewing. Still the basic idea and the intensely impressive hard work in making this movie more than make up for the music.
08) Scrooged - This is probably the closest I'll ever get to liking a regular holiday movie. There's just something about the pathos and never ending sarcasm of Bill Murray that makes this movie awesome to watch. Even after he's been reformed, he still keeps the same style. This movie even made the three spirits fun!!
07) Lethal Weapon - There's nothing that warms the cockles of your heart than some good action during the holidays. And that's what Mel Gibson & Danny Glover deliver. Plus, we get a topless girl listening to Jingle Bell Rock, a shootout in a Christmas tree lot, and an epic hand to hand fight right in front of a somewhat cheerily decorated house!
06) Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - The deadpan wiseass humor of Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer make this a holiday favorite for me. And the bonus of Michelle Monaghan bouncing around in a sexy Santa outfit doesn't hurt either!
05) Gremlins - This movie is the single most anti-consumerist movie I have ever seen. A father takes a gift to his son, and that gift spawns a bunch of evil creatures that terrorize an entire town! Plus, Phoebe Cates delivering one of the most horrible Christmas memories in film history just makes me happy in the fact that there are people who have had worse Christmases than I!
04) Bad Santa - I prefer the unrated version of this movie, but the best part is (and I can't believe I'm going to say this) is the sex scene... "Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!" There's just something about that line that is just.... enchanting.
03) Trading Places - Where Gremlins is anti-consumerism. Trading Places is anti-commercialism. There's nothing that makes the holidays complete than having your boss take everything in your life away from you and give it to someone else, all for a lousy $1 bet!
02) The Ref - This movie is the closest I've seen to Christmas at my house growing up. Yelling, screaming, and gun play (well that was only the one year at my house, but still) and then a stupid meal that degenerates into more yelling, and screaming, until someone runs away.
01) Die Hard - This movie takes one of the most common holiday stories, trying to get to your family for the holidays, and gives it some major balls! No longer is it being stuck with strange people in a snow bound airport or small town. No, now it's a group of highly funded thieves pretending to be terrorists, with enough C4 to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger and machine guns galore!! If this isn't a Christmas tradition at your house, make it one! Or else, I'll send John McLane to YOUR house and then we'll see how your house stands up to sustained gunfire & explosions from terrorists!
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Friday, December 3, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
The First Of Many Holiday Gripes...
Any of my friends will tell you that I'm not the biggest fan of the Thanksgiving/Christmas season (known in the My Church has taken over your Mid-Winter Pagan rites collection nicknamed "The Holidays"). While I have a great deal of personal reasoning behind this, which I'll most likely get into later on in the season when the cheerful masses will REALLY get me pissed about The Holidays, I try to put on a neutral face and let the good cheer flow around me.
Still there is a limit. For example, I heard people listening to Christmas carols today. THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN. For crying out loud we haven't even had THANKSGIVING yet, people!! Give me a little time to build up my Scrooge Shielding before exposing me to all that good cheer.
*sigh*
I hope this is NOT an omen for the rest of this season... Damn, and I just remembered, my birthday is coming up too... The big 3-4.
*fake smiles* Happy Holidays, people... *end fake smile*
Still there is a limit. For example, I heard people listening to Christmas carols today. THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN. For crying out loud we haven't even had THANKSGIVING yet, people!! Give me a little time to build up my Scrooge Shielding before exposing me to all that good cheer.
*sigh*
I hope this is NOT an omen for the rest of this season... Damn, and I just remembered, my birthday is coming up too... The big 3-4.
*fake smiles* Happy Holidays, people... *end fake smile*
Sunday, December 27, 2009
It's My Birthday, Again...
Anyone who knows me eventually gets the speech about how I hate the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season. It's like my good cheer ends every year on November 1st and doesn't really come back until January 1st of the next year. The really weird part, emotionally, is that my birthday is in that timeframe. In a very real sense, I hate my birthday. What does that say about me?
Think about it for a moment. In the US, what does a birthday represent? For the most part, it's a day like any other to the rest of the world. But for you, it's supposed to be a day you take to celebrate yourself. It's an excuse to throw a party, and a day when it's okay for your loved ones to take some action to show that they appreciate your presence in this world and in their lives. So, what does it mean that the bulk of my birthdays have passed with little or no reference whatsoever? And what's worse is the reason why my birthday gets passed over... it's two days after Christmas. Everyone gets caught up in the preparations for Christmas such as: going to their respective homes to celebrate with family, getting presents, arranging the supplies for incoming families, setting up parties, etc. And it's such a huge deal that after December 25th, everyone just needs some down time. So my birthday goes by with little fanfare.
Then, to add a touch of irony, I actually understand the feeling. I've gone through the holiday stress myself. So, I know what people are going through, and over the course of time, I've come to accept it. I don't like it... In fact, I downright despise it, but I've come to accept it. Yet somehow, every year a little tendril of hope starts up in the back of my mind: this year will be different. This year I'll get some recognition. And it never happens. (I'd like to kick the ass of whoever opened Pandora's Box and let hope out. It really is a nasty little bugger.)
For the last couple of years, a couple of my close friends have tried. I appreciate their efforts more than I can conceivably convey to them. Really, I do. But, at this point it's something of a losing battle. Like the rest of the holidays, there's just too much bad history to overcome. In fact, this is one of the core reasons why the holidays are such a trying time for me. (The others are beyond the scope of this posting.) It's a yearly reminder that I don't have the things in my life that most of this society takes for granted. But I'm close enough to it that the sting never really goes away.
I know this sounds like self-indulgent whining, and I can't really disagree. But, that's not what I intend. This is only meant as an explanation of my views towards my birthday. If for no other reason than to not have to go through it with people every year. At the end of the day, I don't hate my birthday (or by logical extension, myself). It's just that with all the bad things that have come with it over the years (as with the rest of the holiday season), the experience has been soured for me.
Today, December 27th, 2009, I turn 33. For those of you who send me good wishes today, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Think about it for a moment. In the US, what does a birthday represent? For the most part, it's a day like any other to the rest of the world. But for you, it's supposed to be a day you take to celebrate yourself. It's an excuse to throw a party, and a day when it's okay for your loved ones to take some action to show that they appreciate your presence in this world and in their lives. So, what does it mean that the bulk of my birthdays have passed with little or no reference whatsoever? And what's worse is the reason why my birthday gets passed over... it's two days after Christmas. Everyone gets caught up in the preparations for Christmas such as: going to their respective homes to celebrate with family, getting presents, arranging the supplies for incoming families, setting up parties, etc. And it's such a huge deal that after December 25th, everyone just needs some down time. So my birthday goes by with little fanfare.
Then, to add a touch of irony, I actually understand the feeling. I've gone through the holiday stress myself. So, I know what people are going through, and over the course of time, I've come to accept it. I don't like it... In fact, I downright despise it, but I've come to accept it. Yet somehow, every year a little tendril of hope starts up in the back of my mind: this year will be different. This year I'll get some recognition. And it never happens. (I'd like to kick the ass of whoever opened Pandora's Box and let hope out. It really is a nasty little bugger.)
For the last couple of years, a couple of my close friends have tried. I appreciate their efforts more than I can conceivably convey to them. Really, I do. But, at this point it's something of a losing battle. Like the rest of the holidays, there's just too much bad history to overcome. In fact, this is one of the core reasons why the holidays are such a trying time for me. (The others are beyond the scope of this posting.) It's a yearly reminder that I don't have the things in my life that most of this society takes for granted. But I'm close enough to it that the sting never really goes away.
I know this sounds like self-indulgent whining, and I can't really disagree. But, that's not what I intend. This is only meant as an explanation of my views towards my birthday. If for no other reason than to not have to go through it with people every year. At the end of the day, I don't hate my birthday (or by logical extension, myself). It's just that with all the bad things that have come with it over the years (as with the rest of the holiday season), the experience has been soured for me.
Today, December 27th, 2009, I turn 33. For those of you who send me good wishes today, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)