Thoughts On... Humanity Pt 2 - Men

The human animal is an exceedingly complex creature, and worthy of extensive study. That study can be made more manageable by studying smaller segments of the whole and how those segments interact with each other, then integrating that knowledge into something of a cohesive whole. The easiest segmentation is along gender lines and consider human males & human females. This is part two of that consideration.

Growing up, I didn't really have very many male role-models. My biological father left when I was around two and I haven't had much interaction with him in the three decades since. My step father had something of a revolving door policy which ended with him leaving permanently a year or so after my baby sister was born. I spent most of my time surrounded by women, so most of the lessons I've learned about being a man have been more theoretical than practical. With the practical lessons being more about what a man is NOT, as opposed to how to actually BE a man. Despite spending less time "with the guys", I was able to gather a great deal of information which allowed me to understand the natural impulses that pushed at me. It was decidedly easier to learn since I was on the inside of the thought processes as well as listening to others and watching what they did.

I watched as they tested their power by physical combat, from kicks and punches to flying tackles. I saw them use that power to test others and themselves, to defend helpless friends, and to attack unwitting enemies. I listened as they covered fear and insecurities with bragging and lies so often that the lies became the truth. I paid attention as they continuously realized their lives had not prepared them to deal with the women they suddenly wanted, endured the consequences of injustices they didn't commit, and paid attention as they learned the power of strength through gentleness.

The first conclusion I came to, upon analyzing the information presented to me, is that men are just as emotionally complex as their female counterparts. But rather than ride out emotional storms, men build walls and compartmentalize themselves. This allows them to deal with the challenges of the world with little to no complications, solving their problems by facing them head on and dealing with any emotional aftermath later, if ever. Those walls bury the emotional complexity of men, and give them the cold distance which society has attributed to them.

Also, as a secondary effect, these walls disconnect men from direct, hands-on experience of their emotions. While men are still subject to the emotions, if these walls are built early enough in a man's life, he will have no knowledge of what these forces are that move him. The irony is most men won't need that knowledge until they start dealing with women. And yes, this behavior is actively encouraged by modern day society as well.

The second conclusion I came to is that men are built to exert force. Men are physically larger, and on average have more muscle mass, and are trained to focus and channel their strength to enhance it. This also reflected in the male psyche as some of the most basic primal imperatives are to overcome or destroy obstacles with strength and power. The bulk of male to male communication comes across in various forms of challenge.

The third conclusion I came to is that men are not subtle creatures. Men are expected to be able to shrug off the stresses human society throws at them. Whether those stresses are physical or psychological, men are supposed to take the hit, absorb whatever damage, and move forward with little lasting effect. These expectations are trained into men from childhood, as such men develop the capacities to handle the excesses of human society. But the acquiring of those capacities does
not allow for the development of subtlety. In learning to deal with massive snowstorms, one doesn't develop the skill to assess variations in individual snowflakes.

The fourth conclusion I came to is that the worst pain and issues a man will ever have to deal with will come not from men but from women. Everything in modern society trains men to utilize their power to deal with all the problems they face. If they stand tough, and aloof, they'll persevere. Then they try interacting with women, and the same society that has trained them to survive by being strong, cold, and direct, tells them that those tactics can't be used in dealing with the women with whom they are biologically driven to interact.

Overall, it has become apparent to me that the domain of the male is the physical world. From an early age, men are trained to compete, to absorb damage, and ignore the frailties engendered in the mind. They learn focus, control, and the advantages of planning ahead. Direct and decisive action become a man's greatest tools, allowing him to cut through obstacles to accomplish the goals. But, the focus on the physical allows for a blind spot, and for all their strengths and power, that blind spot is and always will be the chink in their armor.

In the end, men are simple creatures. With the proper information, they can be easily understood.

Thoughts On... Humanity Pt 1 - Women

The human animal is an exceedingly complex creature, and worthy of extensive study. That study can be made more manageable by studying smaller segments of the whole and how those segments interact with each other, then integrating that knowledge into something of a cohesive whole. The easiest segmentation is along gender lines and consider human males & human females. This is part one of that consideration.

Growing up, I was surrounded by my mom, my two sisters, my cousins (97.8999% of which were female), my mom's sisters and all their girlfriends, not to mention all the women around me in school. When I hit puberty and truly realized there is a difference between boys & girls, I became obsessed with understanding this seemingly eternal presence in my life. I can't tell you how much I've read, written, heard, saw, thought, and analyzed about women in service of my obsession, because frankly, I just don't know. But given the biological imperative behind it, I did what I normally do: keep my mouth shut and my eyes & ears open.

I watched as they taught each other how to use make-up, saw the rules of how the lovely creatures you see walking around are built, and paid attention to the seemingly never ending work needed to maintain that beautiful, yet ultimately false image. I listened to the things they said they wanted and seen what they ACTUALLY responded to, heard the complaints they made about the men in their lives and watched them go back to those men time & time again, and paid attention to their cries as they rang out against the injustices the world wrought upon them, while taking note of how they perpetuate those same injustices on each other.

The first conclusion I came to, upon analyzing the information presented to me, is that women are slaves to their emotions. Like a ship adrift on stormy seas, women chart their course based on their current emotional state, which is why their thought processes never seem to have any logical consistency. However, due to this heightened emotional state, women show a greater empathy for others. This empathy, coupled with the biological imperative to nurture, has earned women the role of guardians of the moral virtues of society. This is why women are consistently thought of as more virtuous. This also explains why society tends to shun women who do not live up to that ideal, especially in areas of sexual promiscuity and motherhood.

Also, because women are prone to being swept up in their own emotions, they become, more often than not, the architects of their own destruction. Time and time again I've seen women ignore the real world in favor of their own illusions. And when those illusions inevitably shatter under the weight of reality, women will grab the broken shards of their world and, barring an outside influence, immediately rebuild it. What's worse is that modern society actually ENCOURAGES this behavior.

The second conclusion I came to is that women are built to endure pain. From the purely physical stresses of childbirth, through the psychological trauma of interpersonal relationships, women absorb pain with a talent that is, at times, astounding.

The third conclusion I came to is that over the course of time, the never-ending societal pressure laid on women to look good has given them the ability to pierce and break down the images presented by other women as well as men. Minute discrepancies appear as glaring oversights in the female eye.

The fourth conclusion I came to is that the worst pain and issues a woman will ever have to deal with will come not from men but other women. Their capacity for empathy gives women the unique insight needed to undermine the efforts of the women around them, and if it takes time women will endure until the proper time. All the while watching and taking note of all the weaknesses their target displays.

Overall, it has become apparent to me that the domain of the female is the realm of the mind. It's widely known that the bulk of the human brain, about 70%, is devoted to processing visual information. With society's pressures to look good, women are trained from an early age to affect others with visual cues. That effect opens a door that women can then utilize to manipulate others, with their capacity for empathy giving them the knowledge to make educated guesses as to how others are feeling. And yet, while the mind is the realm of female power, it is also the seat of their greatest weakness.

In the end, women are exceedingly simple creatures. With the proper information, they can be easily understood.