[The friend zone is] the outdated, consistently refuted notion that people, usually women, somehow owe their friends, usually men, romantic or physical intimacy for the time and energy invested into the friendship. The “friend zone” also implies some sort of entrapment executed by women, as well as resentment held by the men “stuck” in such a zone and unable to express their feelings without being rejected.
In other words, the friend zone is a total myth implying that women are to be valued for what they can offer men, instead of for who they are as people.
In a million years, I would have NEVER believed the above statement could be said about the friend zone.
I've always believed that there's always a chance for a romantic connection with with any woman I meet. Granted, there are some women with whom I would prefer a romantic connection more than others, but there's always a chance. When a woman turns me down romantically, but still chooses to spend time with me, I feel like I was "friend zoned". This means she feels that I am someone she can have fun spending time with, but there's no romantic chemistry.
I tried, and she said no. Any residual emotion is mine to handle and not the purview of the woman in question. I could choose to continue to spend time with her and become a good friend with no further promise of anything romantic, which I have done; or I could choose to separate myself from her and continue with my life, which I have also done.
There is no entrapment, and the women I usually feel this with are people that I value MORE than average. Hence why I would attempt to initiate a romantic relationship with them. And why it would sting when they don't feel the same way.
And by the way, I've always thought of the Friend Zone as a unisex concept. There are TONS of examples of women being "friend zoned" by the people with whom they want to be in a romantic relationship. Granted, in the media, it's displayed mostly as men being friend zoned by women, but the media also mostly displays men as romantic/sexual initiators as well so perhaps it's a "per capita" kind of thing.
I'm someone who tries to keep a flexible mind. There are concepts that I think are absolute and unshakable, but I remain open to challenge and re-examine those ideas. This helps me grow as a person as well as gain deeper understanding of the concepts with which I build my world view. Now, that world view has no bearing on anyone else, but in communicating with people that world view becomes more sophisticated allowing me to navigate the challenges of life more effectively. It also helps me be a better person and friend to those I care about.
I care about women, both in general, and specifically those in my life. In this era of shifting definitions and roles, I find it disturbing that I could be promoting a misogynistic idea. However, I don't believe this article to be correct. But I could be wrong. Sound off in the comments below!
What do you think of the friend zone?