Like I said, music can be cathartic and in this case I really needed to extirpate my pain. So after a couple of songs that I thought would help my mood, I decided to sing a slow song that reflected my pain so I could pour all my emotions into it and exorcise them. Only one man knew the depths of my pain; only one man knew the howling despair that crushed my soul in its foul, corrosive talons. I chose his most epic ballad knowing that singing it would bring me the peace I so desperately needed!
There was a bit of a delay in my song coming up, and the last couple of songs had been a bit upbeat, so I decided to warn the massive audience in attendance lest they take the stage in true mob fashion and rip my flesh from my bones. I let them know that my heart was heavy and I needed to express my pain with song. (Yes, I know I'm watching too much Glee and Smash. Get over it!) One of my friends, in whom I had confided some of my pain, was touched with concern and hoped that my desolation would not prove addictive and bring the whole soiree down into my despair. Then she heard my song:
After which, she couldn't stop laughing. Seriously, she almost passed out from asphyxiation. Needless to say, I'm now over my dating misadventure.