Monday, August 26, 2013

Thoughts On... The 2013 VMAs

I have always known that I had a disconnect with current popular music, but every once awhile I get a reminder. My most recent reminder came last night as I watched the 2013 VMAs with my roommate. And now the next day, I have to thank Kevin Hart, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry. Without them, I would not have made it through the entirety of the broadcast without my roommate strangling me with her blanket.
To be completely honest, I was kind of watching the VMAs for the novelty of seeing music played on MTV again. Even if it was some bizarre stuff accompanied by even more bizarre performances. The coolest part of the broadcast was Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' acceptance speech for the "Best Video with a Social Message". I'd heard the song before (thanks to my roommate) and it was cool to see the indie "anti-rappers" get an award. It was also cool to see a normal looking woman (Mary Lambert) on stage at the VMAs. With all the stick figures walking around, it was a refreshing change.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis also get the best performance nod from me. Not only was their song fantastic, but having Jennifer Hudson come in to sing with Mary Lambert was awesome. Made me wish for a track with Ms. Lambert, Ms. Hudson, and Adele singing together. That would be a tour de force! (I'd also like to see a collaboration with Macklemore and Eminem, but I doubt that would ever happen.)

Apparently, the VMAs did not have an official host this year. Who would have thought an awards show could go on its own without any guidance or supervision?? Despite not hosting the show, Kevin Hart did make a couple of appearances and they were awesome! From ragging on Timberlake and N'Sync's performance RIGHT AFTER THEY FINISHED to expressing a desire to get closer to Lady Gaga's ass (I concur), Hart injected a much needed shot of humor into the broadcast. He even managed to do some damage control after Miley Cyrus's disaster of a performance. That alone speaks volumes about how talented a comedian Hart truly is.

The other two highlights of the show were the performances by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. While they were both exceedingly beautiful, and their music was good, what got me was the dancing. From Gaga's dancing through her different styles to Perry's backup boxers, they were interesting and fun to watch.

For the downside of the VMAs, we'll start small:

What happened to Lil Kim? That woman was smoking hot not less than 5 years ago. Now, she looks like she spent quality time with Tara Reid's plastic surgeon!

Who's brilliant idea was it to get Jared Leto to introduce Kanye West? And since when is Kanye West a "rock star"? He doesn't do rock music! In fact, recently, he's more famous for his girlfriend and naming his kid after a cardinal direction than for his music.

And speaking of rock music, WHERE THE HELL WAS IT?? Are the VMAs really trying to say that no one in Brooklyn likes rock music? Seriously?

Back to the brilliant ideas of this broadcast, who gets the bullet in the testicle for putting Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke to perform together? She spent about 4 minutes singing on her own, and Robin Thicke out performed her by JUST WALKING ON STAGE! Lady Gaga went from Nun's habit (conservative) to bikini & seashells (ultra sexy) in a SINGLE performance and NEVER gave up her dignity. Miley has been trying to lose the "Hanna Montana" vibe for a couple years now, STILL HASN'T, and seemingly is giving up on dignity as well. Speaking as a man, that performance was so UN-hot, I was HAPPY when they switched to 2 Chainz portion of the performance. Oh, and Miley needs to smack her physical trainer and get more cardio in. Not being able to breathe while singing and dancing to your OWN song is not cool. (And yes, this is coming from a fat man. You don't see me trying to twerk on stage, do you?)

And finally, I can honestly say that Timberlake's performance was a fangirl's dream. How do I know this? Because I was sitting NEXT to one while he was on! It was all my roommate could do to contain herself while he was on screen. I, however, was not impressed with the "President of Pop"'s performance. (As much as I'm not a fan of his stuff, I can't deny him the title. It is accurate.) For one thing, I'm not impressed with his music, but mostly I didn't like how he treated his former band mates during the performance. The N'Sync performance should have been the last bit of his show. It would have come across as Timberlake's honoring the group that got him famous in the first place. But, the way it was done, his former group was just like a minor blip on the trajectory of his career. Way to live up to your title, Mr. President. However, I did agree with one statement he made during his acceptance speech: He DOESN'T deserve that award.

I'd like to end this on a positive note, though so I'd like to give a special shout out to the Beats Pills commercials. They were awesome and gave me the quote of the night:
"Will somebody please feed Miley Cyrus? Don't you need ass to twerk? Somewhere Sir Mix-A-Lot is crying his eyes out!"

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